RANT

[omaklackey]

So who has to go to the doctor on your birthday! To make a possible life wreaking decison. I'm supposed to decide to go on Lupron today and I have done my best to warn my husband about how bad it is but I'm quite frankly terrified and when I get scared I get mad. Needless to say I'm a little grumpy and moody and alternating between crying my eyes out and screaming. I don't know why I'm worried about the mood swings from Lupron Mine are already so bad. I'm going on some anti-deprssents though, another decision my hubby isn't necassarily in favor of. He doesn't want a physco wife either so he agreed it may be necassary. ARRHGHG!!! So happy freakin' birthday to me. The Rave I guess is for the first time my hubby bought me a beautiful necklace and ring! I purchased my wedding ring and picked out my own engagment ring so after 10 1/2 years he picked out earings for me for Valentines day and just bought a ring and necklace to match. How sweet! Does make life a little better to have bling right girls??

[ouchy]

Sorry you're having such a rough time.

Maybe it will be a good thing for you, though. Try to keep your head up.

Congrats on the presents. Very nice!

[ouchy]

And happy birthday!!!

[cherry]

Happy birthday, the present sounds lovely just fpr the thought hubby put in!
Take it all in your stride, you may be lucky and suffer very little by way of side effects. I have had positive results from antidepressants, and so haven't been nearly as bad with the mood swings this time around on GnRH. By all means anticipate and be ready for side effects, but don't gve yourself up to them yet.
I have been to the gynae on I think my last 2 birthdays, but after something that usually leaves me confused or upset, it's nice to have birthday celebrations to cheer you up.

[Karen]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I've done loads of crap things on my birthday through the years! At least you'll always have a frame of reference for 'the day you started lupron'!

[ouchy]

^Good point!

[cass]

Happy Birthday... who knows it could be the best birthday present ever!!

[rach]

Happy Birthday and i hope your appointment goes well. It's true that there are lots of side effects, but try not to get bogged down worrying about what might happen, because you never know how your body will react and it seems to be different for everyone. It may be the best thing for you. And btw, i understand reluctance of yours and hubbies for antidepressants as their is still a lot of stigma surrounding them and depression in general, but let me just say they changed my life a whole damn lot, and for the better! I can't imagine continuing on the way i was before i sarted on them.
So you never know, this might be a good birthday for you, as it might get the ball rolling on things that will make you better maybe now and maybe in the long run.

Best of luck!

[ouchy]

Are you having a better day today?

[omaklackey]

So it was a very interseting doctors apt. He came in and asked me what I wanted to do. I was loaded up with papers and my endo book and ready for an argument I guess and he said what's the plan? I said well we talked about Lupron but It scares us to put something in your body that hangs out for a month-to three months. So he asked me what I want to do and I said that I looked up Synarel and its on my insurances drug formulary and can we do that? We can do whatever you want to do he says... ? He tells us that we can do anything from wait and see to the lupron but its our choice. He explained synarel was the same type of drug and that most pharmacies have to special order it. But both my hubby and I were of the opinion that at least you can get off of it faster if it turns out it really sucks. I also sucked it up and asked for the anti-depressents. I also questioned him about whether he had other endo patients. He doesn't have very many but he was open with what they have tried. He has only one on Lupron, several on continuous BC's, Mirena, and one doing the Wait and see. He is suggesting six months and we come back in to talk about what's next. So no more driving two hours to the doctor unless the Synarel isn't effective. I came out of the doctors office in a state of confusion since I had no idea what to expect. At least he isn't pushing anything on me. I guess everyone says Endo is a disease that you have to take charge of the care and he is definetely giving me that option. He has read up on it which is one of my many questions, I was to chicken to ask. he said that he has done some extra studying on it and we were definetly on the same page about the different things that can come up. So I guess I get six months to not worry about the next step since worry is a waste of my time! I don't know how long its going to take for the synarel to get in to the pharmacy so I have a brief reprieve on that anyways. The list of meds is about to get longer since I am doing add-back therapy. The complete book of Endo recommends starting it right away since they saw no change in effectivness and it helps cut the 'bad' side affects. I'm also doing Calcuim supplements, womens mult-vitamin, and all my usual asthma meds, and allergy meds... *sigh* my hubby says to me on the home "your going to be a charm to live with when you get older" I retorted back that he won't have to worry about that because taking care of me is going to make him die young! (And yes I so... have the mood swings already since losing that ovary!!!)

[ouchy]

Yay for the Synarel being on your formulary! That's cool!

I also like that your doc isn't pushing you in to doing something you're not really wanting to do. That say a lot for him.

Sounds like you're doing all the right things.

[Karen]

Someone reminded me a few months ago that each and every one of us has the responsibility of being our own advocate when it comes to our own health, that no one else will do it for us. Good for you for speaking up about your concerns and wishes! It sounds like you trust yourself in his care. Best of luck on synarel and the anti-depressants.

[omaklackey]

So Here it is two days later and I'm still waiting for the Synarel. I'm a little terrified at how much its going to cost now! They had to special order it and get prior approval. Its on my drug formulary but its under prior approval only. So now we wait. The sucky thing is what if it comes in and its beyond my ability to pay for it?? I haven't decided what to do about that. I just paid my hospital bills so its going to take a while to get money saved up again. The Lupron was only 15 dolar co-pay so I hope I dont' really regret this decision. Also in massive amounts of pain for the last week. I ran out of my darvocet on tuesday and I'm trying to decide if I ask for more. I have my birthday party tonight pain or not. I hate that this year I almost didn't even ask anyone over to celebrate. Its just not like me! I'm a social bug who loves to have guests and feed them. The more the merrier!

[cass]

Ive been on synarel continuously for 2 years with HRT (add back).

[JC]

Do you drink? I've never tried this but I wonder if getting drunk helps endo pain. lol It is a party!!!