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Post by jessabug on Dec 3, 2011 16:54:15 GMT -5
Worst week of my life in a really long time so far you guys. On top of everything else going on, I found out from his roommate that the guy I have feelings for (my best friend, awesome) brought home a random last night. Except she wasn't so random, she was the girl his MALE best friend has feelings for. I felt sick to my stomach when I found out and have been crying all morning. He came over to talk about it and it basically ended with me saying that as much as I don't want to be that control freak who demands ultimatums to get what she wants, the facts are, he needs to choose: be with me or get out of my life.
Guess which one he chose, despite the fact that he too is emotional about it because he doesn't want to lose me?
Yep.
Awesome. And still crying. It's been 4 hours.
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Post by 1234 on Dec 3, 2011 18:05:29 GMT -5
oh Jess. I wish I could fly you here for a hug. I'm really, really sorry.
I just want to say how impressed I am by you. You are so good at making decisions--I wish I had had half your wisdom at your age. I didn't have half the courage or sense, and was in some horrible relationships--abusive in every way, and just crappy. I know your heart is broken now, and the friendship really hurt in a horrible way, but I really respect your decision-making.
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Post by JC on Dec 3, 2011 21:35:33 GMT -5
OMG I second what Kristin said! I'm so sorry your feelings are hurt! But just think about all the drama you're saving yourself by not waiting it out for this guy. I know you liked him and it sucks to have to get over someone you had feelings for. But like Kristin said, I also have been through some of the worst relationships you could imagine (even abusive) so please don't settle for less than what you want! You did a good thing and I'm sorry it sucks right now. I really do admire how honest you are with yourself and what you want.
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Post by painttheseconds on Dec 4, 2011 0:57:42 GMT -5
I just have to agree with the other girls Jess. I'm so sorry you are in pain and hurting, but I admire your strength and courage. I think it's amazing how in tune you are with yourself at your age. I was exactly the opposite. Hang in there. You are deserving of so much better then how this guy has treated you.
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Post by hellsbells on Dec 4, 2011 5:47:05 GMT -5
Not that it helps much, but I'm still in the same boat. I'm still sad mine didn't want me enough to get past his demons. It's horrendous. Sending you massive hugs honey, it'll hurt for a long time but each day gets a tiny bit easier xx
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Post by Karen on Dec 4, 2011 11:12:12 GMT -5
Aw, sh*t, that's not cool. Kudos to you for taking control of the situation, though. He may have been a seemingly great guy, but if he's not emotionally available to you, well, he's not so great. Go ahead and empty the bucket, and in a few days or weeks, you'll feel much better for setting boundaries than tolerating someone that doesn't understand how awesome you are!
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Post by jessabug on Dec 4, 2011 22:19:56 GMT -5
Thanks so much, to all of you. Jenaya, I know how that goes.. the first boy I ever fell for when I was younger was totally abusive.. emotionally, physically, the works, and he kind of laid the foundation for some serious issues... I've worked hard to rise above them. And hugs back to you Helen, it's hard as hell. I've been listening to Take it All and Set Fire to the Rain by Adele over and over and over again. It sucks too because Caitlin (the other girl) has been desperately trying to talk to Sean (the other guy friend) and apologizing, and Sheldon (mine) hasn't said a peep since I made him walk yesterday. For all I know it's water off a duck's back for him, and that's rough for me to swallow. I thought that at the very least I meant more than that to him as a friend.. like I was literally his BEST friend. I'm so stunned by all of this..
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Post by jessabug on Dec 5, 2011 14:54:12 GMT -5
Update, got a call from the other injured friend last night. He got confirmation from the horse's mouth that they had sex. This means that he lied to my face. I really thought he respected me and valued me as a friend enough to never do something like that. It makes me sick. I sometimes really don't understand how my karma can be so bad. I feel like I try so hard to make other people happy. I don't know why that isn't enough to make me someone worth respect, kindness, loyalty, and honesty.
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Post by hellsbells on Dec 5, 2011 16:22:07 GMT -5
I sooooooooo know where you're at! I've had to delete mine off Facebook. He NEVER posts updates, yet there have been TWO today, one saying 'Where are all the good looking women?' and further down that post as a response to someone else he said 'I should've said single'. Ughh. I know he doesn't actually mean anything by it, but this morning afte 5 days radio silence I texted and told him I missed him. His response to that? 'Really?? Why?  '. So on his FB post I put 'You chase them away' and then deleted him. I then texted and called him out, he said he meant nothing by it, I told him it made me feel like sh*t and he said it wasn't his intention and he was sorry. My head is so mashed. 18 years ago I was completely in love with this man and I can't believe I've let him hurt me again. I can't believe it's all gone so wrong and I'm totally gutted. So, sorry to hijack your rant Jess, but we're totally in the same boat right now. At least I no longer have to worry about vetting my own FB updates in case he take them the wrong way. a**hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Post by JC on Dec 5, 2011 21:03:27 GMT -5
Girls, when a man loves you or even remotely likes you, YOU WILL KNOW. If you are even slightly confused or questioning his intentions, then run for the hills. When guys love you, they are willing to run to the end of the earth for you. There should be no question.
Consider yourselves lucky that you didn't get stuck with these guys. As much as you liked them, you have saved yourselves so much drama not getting tangled up with guys that play with your heads. You both are so much better than that. I can't get over how f**king mean they were to you guys. They have no balls to mess with a good woman like that. Idiots.
Hang in there girls! I love you both!!!
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Post by hellsbells on Dec 6, 2011 2:45:30 GMT -5
Yet I still want to make excuses for him. Love doesn't just hurt, it SUCKS!!!
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Post by JC on Dec 6, 2011 7:33:43 GMT -5
I was going to put this in the daily quote section but felt it to be more important here  Attachments:
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Post by 1234 on Dec 6, 2011 10:09:06 GMT -5
I agree with Jenaya, but I also want to kick both of these guys in the ass. hard. or maybe the crotch--hurt more.
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Post by JC on Dec 6, 2011 10:38:42 GMT -5
Fingers to eyes, karate chop to throat, kick to groin, stomp on tops of feet.
That'll do it.
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Post by hellsbells on Dec 6, 2011 13:57:10 GMT -5
I make excuses because if I don't, the only other explanation is that he just doesn't want me enough, and I'm not good enough, or pretty enough, or slim enough. Not that he's exactly Tom f**kin Cruise mind. Ughh I feel so wretched, so angry, so hurt. I haven't had to feel like this in 3 years because I just have not let anyone into my life. But I can't put the barriers back up, I'll never find someone if I do that. What's wrong with me?? Why can't I just find someone to love me??
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'. So on his FB post I put 'You chase them away' and then deleted him. I then texted and called him out, he said he meant nothing by it, I told him it made me feel like sh*t and he said it wasn't his intention and he was sorry. My head is so mashed. 18 years ago I was completely in love with this man and I can't believe I've let him hurt me again. I can't believe it's all gone so wrong and I'm totally gutted. So, sorry to hijack your rant Jess, but we're totally in the same boat right now. At least I no longer have to worry about vetting my own FB updates in case he take them the wrong way.