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Post by Karen on Sept 25, 2011 12:47:13 GMT -5
Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Man, that has to be such a toll on anyone! Sounds like epsom salt baths, lots of fluids, and tons of rest are in your future?
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Post by 1234 on Sept 26, 2011 19:42:40 GMT -5
I don't know if it's the bike ride or what, since my cycle is all wacked out and I have no idea where I am, other than day 36...but pain hit me this morning around 10am like a ton of bricks, and I'm in complete agony. I went out to my acupuncture appt, and she did about 8 times teh needles as last time, and my "pulses" didn't even change. I think my body was in so much pain it was fighting the acupuncture off. It's horrible. I hope this changes soon. it's very close to unbearable.
I'm in a horrible self-pitying mood where I'm just so sad thinking that I maybe can't do a longer ride any more. I was so proud of myself for finishing all of those miles, even beating people on fancy uberlight road bikes, on my slow "endometriosis bike". Endo, asthma, celiac, slow bike, and I still dropped everyone I was with on every hill. I felt like I had to prove it to myself. But maybe instead I proved I can't do it.
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Post by Karen on Sept 26, 2011 19:56:13 GMT -5
Perhaps your body doesn't like the longer rides at the moment, but I suspect your body isn't going to make you give them up for good. I think a long ride like that would kick anyone's ass! I hope the worst of it passes soon!
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Post by 1234 on Sept 27, 2011 8:53:18 GMT -5
me too  . I was awake all night with pain, doubled over and crying, and couldn't make it into work today. |
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Post by JC on Sept 27, 2011 10:42:48 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you're not feeling well! Maybe you are just hitting a little road block and will be back to it in no time. I would be reluctant to admit that you are stuck like this forever. Sometimes we just get sick. And when I say sick I don't mean like a cold or sniffle. Sometimes we have flare ups that come out of no where. Congrats on kicking everyone's ass though!! You are so awesome! |
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Post by 1234 on Sept 27, 2011 13:42:00 GMT -5
Thanks for reminding me that I'm being a little bit over-depressive. I don't normally get like this--I don't know what happened! I guess the pain is just a bit worse, and I'm a bit less equipped to deal with it, for whatever reason, and the isolation of being in pain got to me today. Thanks for the support. Hopefully I can kick this pain's ass soon!
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Post by JC on Sept 27, 2011 13:47:05 GMT -5
I'd hate to break it to you but PAIN IS DEPRESSING! It's ok to feel depressed about it every so often! It really sucks to be in pain and it sucks even more when it derails you from things that were previously easy to handle. Then to top it off you're surrounded by people who AREN'T in pain. From what little I got to know you a few weeks ago when I met you, you're definitely a very optimistic person and I know you'll bounce back.  I have had to learn myself to have a cry every once in a while because walking around being strong all the time is really tiring not only physically but emotionally too. If you just let it bother you for a tiny bit, you'll eventually unload the crappy feelings and feel better. I promise! |
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Post by 1234 on Sept 27, 2011 17:23:57 GMT -5
Thanks, Jenaya, I appreciate it so much. I took a short walk around the block and feel less in a mental funk. I like weather, and there is lots of weather going on outside to look at.
It's interesting--for me the depression is tied to my own impatience with this disease. When I can't accept the pain, I get frustrated, lonely, and then depressed. plus it's really hard for me to communicate to people around me that I'm hurting, so sometimes I just close off. I sort of lost my center these last few days. Now if I could just lose this pain!!!
thanks again
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Post by Karen on Sept 27, 2011 20:46:59 GMT -5
It's interesting--for me the depression is tied to my own impatience with this disease. When I can't accept the pain, I get frustrated, lonely, and then depressed. plus it's really hard for me to communicate to people around me that I'm hurting, so sometimes I just close off. I'm exactly the same way. You're not alone! But, I think Jenaya had some words of wisdom and you're NOT stuck like this forever! I sometimes have to remind myself that in the whole span of my life, these last few years will be just a blip and I know there are good years coming my way. Hard to remind yourself of that when you're in the midst of the sh*t, but once you empty the bucket, recover from this weekend, and start to feel a bit better, I suspect you'll turn the corner. In the meantime, hugs! |
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Post by 1234 on Sept 28, 2011 13:36:39 GMT -5
Thanks you all. I at least made it to work today! though I had to drag out the even slower, fluffier bike (an ancient mtn bike) and put on a huge cushy seat (the kind that give me yeast infections and BV) in order to make it. But I"m here.
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Post by painttheseconds on Sept 28, 2011 17:02:08 GMT -5
I hope you are feeling better. I think it's amazing that you finished that race. There's no way I could do something like that. I understand getting depressed over this disease. I struggle with that quite a bit when my body isn't working the way I want it to. Thinking of you my dear. Take good care of yourself. I know you will get back to where you are. We are all fighters. |
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Post by Karen on Sept 28, 2011 18:32:04 GMT -5
One step at a time! I hope work wasn't too much for you today, and I hope tomorrow is better than today. |
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Post by 1234 on Sept 29, 2011 6:07:54 GMT -5
Thanks you all, so much! I'm doing a bit better today, and started to come out of the mental funk yesterday as the pain became more intermittent. I do hope today is better!
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Post by Karen on Feb 12, 2012 16:39:37 GMT -5
I did too much and now I broke it. I met my friend at the gym for a run today and about halfway through, I felt every ounce of energy leave my body. And I know my friend means well, but she just doesn't get it. She kept asking if I was 'muscle tired' or just 'tired tired' and commented that exercise should make me feel better, etc. She gave me a ride home and I cried in the car. I hate that my body won't do what I want it to do. It was a very, very, very short run that we had planned today. It shouldn't have shut my body down like it did. I'm completely and utterly frustrated and I have no idea why I'm not do so good the past few weeks.
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Post by semicolon on Feb 12, 2012 19:41:10 GMT -5
I totally know how that feels, Karen, and it sucks! Last week had a couple good runs and a hill training, then the next one I couldn't finish more than a mile because I was extremely, oddly nauseous. I try to pack to pack those days up and throw them away, but it's hard because my husband is almost never the one who can't do it (we run together). But there are some people that don't even get out there and try, right? I hope your energy levels out again.
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. I was awake all night with pain, doubled over and crying, and couldn't make it into work today.
I have had to learn myself to have a cry every once in a while because walking around being strong all the time is really tiring not only physically but emotionally too. If you just let it bother you for a tiny bit, you'll eventually unload the crappy feelings and feel better. I promise!