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Post by semicolon on Sept 13, 2012 17:19:36 GMT -5
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quill
New Member
Posts: 18
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Post by quill on Sept 15, 2012 11:10:01 GMT -5
My ldr was on hold anyway, but he promised to answer the phone when I called before/after my lap yesterday. He never picked up the phone, and I am done. If I can't depend on someone to answer a phone when they promise, how can I trust him at all?
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hattie
Junior Member
Posts: 50
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Post by hattie on Sept 18, 2012 3:20:08 GMT -5
Why can't my hubby be more supportive? I've just been diagnosed and I'm sick of trying to be the strong one. Yesterday he wanted me to write down the pros and cons of having a baby and this is the man who's been at me for not getting pregnant sooner. I'm sick of not being able to buy the groceries I want and stick to bland food simply because he thinks I should be content with what I have. I'm sick of this miserable life where everything is full of tears and more tears.
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Post by JC on Sept 19, 2012 11:48:09 GMT -5
 I'm sorry Hattie. I know how you feel. My husband was not supportive at first AT ALL. It made everything 10x harder to deal with. Over time however, he finally started to get it. It took a really long time though and it was frustrating but he is amazingly supportive of my health problems now. The best advice I could give is to find people who are supportive to take your mind off of your husband. It still sucks but it helps with the feelings of being hopeless. Men are strange. I have my speculations of what made my husband turn around, but in the end, it has to be him that wants to change. There is no magic, "How can I get my husband to" button. I wish there was!! You always have us to get a virtual hug from. I know exactly how you feel and I hope that we can at least help you through this. Oh and food doesn't always have to be bland! Stop by the recipe thread and get some fun ideas. Special diets are only difficult at first until you get the hang of it. |
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hattie
Junior Member
Posts: 50
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Post by hattie on Sept 20, 2012 1:40:50 GMT -5
Oh Jenaya, thanks for the virtual hug and I did stop by the recipe thread - you're right it does have some lovely ideas. I've told my family that even if I can't eat certain stuff I'd still cook what they love.
PS: I love your name, so pretty.
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Post by JC on Sept 21, 2012 18:03:31 GMT -5
Aw thanks!! I hope you're doing better today!
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Post by jessabug on Sept 29, 2012 15:50:28 GMT -5
I haven't been around for a while, but I really need to sound off on something. The last time I was this angry was when I was going through that transition with my old roommate/friend who was a total controlling bitch nutcase. Girls, I am pissed. Outraged. My blood is boiling. I was seeing a guy for a while. And I actually REALLY liked him. SO much. And he really liked me too: begged me to be his girlfriend, but I resisted for a while because I wanted to be sure what he was getting himself into (I'm older, graduating soon, and sick), told me on a daily basis how much he liked me and was shocked by the way that I could just be happy with who he was (i.e. accept him for his flaws, not pick fights over stupid sh*t). Everything was PERFECT. I was really falling for him and I even finally gave in on Friday (last week) and let him call me his girlfriend. On Saturday at and after the football game, he saw my endo in action for the first time. I was in a lot of pain, enough that it affected my mood. I never get mean when I'm in pain, but I stop being happy and I get a hardened look on my face and I get really quiet, which is WAY out of character for me, because the pain is just too intense for me to think straight. We went back to my brother's house and Tony (the guy) just totally checked out. Sat in a solo chair across the room from me and ignored me while Connor (my brother) looked after me, making food to take meds with, being sweet and loving, asking periodically if I was okay or if I needed anything. The only thing Tony did the entire time was make a pouty face once when we made eye contact. Then he left early instead of even offering to take me home or asking if I needed him. It was ridiculous, and for reasons that I"m sure you all understand, I was pissed off and disappointed because I needed him and he wasn't there for me. He wasn't even supportive. AS IF THAT ISN'T BAD ENOUGH, this story gets WAY BETTER. Next morning? He breaks up with me. Out of nowhere. In the middle of the book store. Because he "doesn't think he can give me the extra care that I need." MY ENDO IS NOT EVEN THAT HIGH MAINTENANCE. He is a coward. He walked away from me the moment things weren't absolutely perfect. And I was so hurt, because I actually let this guy in and allowed myself to have genuine feelings for him, and I actually trusted that he would step up to the plate when I needed it and he didn't. And he rejected me for a medical condition that I can't control, despite the fact that EVERYTHING else about our relationship was literally amazing. Better than I've ever experienced before. And that hurt me in a way that I had never been hurt before. But of course, he had to kick me while I was down. Because then... Rewind one second: it's important you know that he had said he wanted to be friends. Obviously that sucked for me, but because of how compatible our personalities were and how much I valued him, I was willing to take that blow and settle for friendship. So, you can probably imagine my confusion when he ignored all three of the texts I sent him this week. This is where sh*t gets unreal. Literally, unreal. And this is why I am f**king insanely pissed off. Yesterday, I facebooked him when he was online and asked when things were going to stop being weird with us, with him ignoring my texts and stuff. His response? "When you tell me why you called Costco and cancelled my interview." .... Apparently, when he showed up for his interview with Costco the day after he broke up with me, the manager told him that a woman called that morning and said he wouldn't be able to make it. And he decided that because he broke up with me the day before, I was the one who did that. ARE YOU f**kING KIDDING ME. You break my heart and drop me on my ass in a way that confirms my biggest fears (I'm always worried guys won't want to be with me because I'm "damaged goods" and "extra work") when I was literally the perfect girlfriend to you the entire time we were together.... and then you accuse me of doing something CERTIFIABLY INSANE?  The best part is, I have literally NO way to prove that it wasn't me, even though IT WAS NOT ME. I hope that some of you can vouch for the fact that I am a mentally stable, kind, and loving person who would not ever even fathom of doing something like that to even my worst enemy. I am just not even conniving like that. Even at my ugliest, my tactic is to spit venomous words at my target -- not go behind their backs and do something outrageous like that. All I could do was defend myself in a pathetic and heartbroken way, encourage him to find out who really did do it, and tell him that I didn't think we could be friends because I was too hurt by the fact that he a. didn't trust me despite having no reason not to and b. accused me of doing something crazy without giving me the benefit of the doubt despite the fact that I literally never behaved even remotely negatively the entire time we were together. And not only did he ignore my plea of innocence, but he also has not even so much as apologized for making such an asinine accusation. I am hurt, angry, and embarrassed beyond words because now he and all of his friends apparently are under the impression that I am genuinely a nutcase. My friends and family of course are telling me that I shouldn't even be giving this situation the time of day because of how ridiculous it is, since I'm actually a very sane person and a very good girlfriend and even a very good ex, but that's a little easier said than done when there is nothing I can do to convince the person I have feelings for AND his friends (whom I adore) that I didn't do what they think I did. |
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Post by semicolon on Sept 29, 2012 15:57:50 GMT -5
Did you even know he had an interview? Anyone who knows you knows you wouldn't have done that, which is hurtful to start but let's not forget he was the one to leave when the going gets tough. Who knows, he might come around when he comes to his senses but in the meantime don't let him make you feel like a bad person when you totally aren't. Sorry for all that drama :/
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Post by 1234 on Sept 29, 2012 17:59:19 GMT -5
Sorry Jess, this guy is a complete waste of time, in every way. I am so very very sorry. He seems to have done everything he could to hurt you the most.
All of this aside, endo doesn't mAke you damaged goods. Think of all of the good things it has added to your personality too-perspectives and understanding of physical pain and limitations. It's hard when dealing with someone who hasn't accepted it yet. But don't focus just on the bad parts of endo. There are many amazing parts of your personality that have been strengthened by dealing with this. If this guy doesn't appreciate that, screw him.
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Post by JC on Sept 30, 2012 1:55:22 GMT -5
Wow this is such a strange story!! WEIRD! It just doesn't make any damn sense!
This guy sucks. I know you really liked him and everything seemed perfect but now you get to see him for who he really is. He sucks for breaking up with you. What a total selfish coward.
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Post by hellsbells on Sept 30, 2012 2:48:22 GMT -5
Ah Jess I can feel and sense the injustice in your words. People may tell you not to give it the time of day, and it's true...but, I totally totally get how you feel. It's the same way I'd feel.l When sh*t like this happens I just think 'How can people be so MEAN??'. It takes me a long while to fathom it all out and let go. Come and vent in the meantime. But the guy is a pig and I'm glad you didn't have to wait too much longer to find out. If he comes crawling back please do not give him a second chance. You are lovely and beautiful and kind and it's sooooo his loss!!
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Post by jessabug on Sept 30, 2012 4:50:29 GMT -5
Aww Helen that's EXACTLY how it feels! I was just talking about it to my mom today. I was like, how is it that all I do is put my energy towards making a positive influence in the lives of others and stuff like this STILL happens? And at what point do people like him get held accountable for their behavior? Thank you for your support girls. And semi, yes, I knew he had the interview. He says I'm the only girl who he told directly about it, which sucks even more, because it makes it seem like I am the only person who could have possibly done it, but I swear to God that I didn't. And Jenaya, couldn't agree more. Despite how hurt I am and how much I like(d) him, I'm definitely not even remotely interested in ever taking him back should he change his mind. He has, like you said, shown his true colors, and someone like that is not even worth my friendship, let alone something more than that.
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hattie
Junior Member
Posts: 50
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Post by hattie on Oct 2, 2012 9:39:19 GMT -5
Yesterday I ate a single tiny marshmallow and now I'm freaking out. I just couldn't resist. Plus I made homemade oar, golden raisin and organic honey bars and ate about 3. I hate myself for being weak and I read this article about scar tissue forming again after a lap and I'm scared that my sugar binge made it accelarate. Yikes! Why do I keep doing this to myself?
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Post by 1234 on Oct 2, 2012 11:36:14 GMT -5
Changing old habits is hard! Don't beat yourself up--just keep going the next day.
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Post by loveshoes on Oct 2, 2012 12:58:35 GMT -5
It's a process, take it day by day.
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I'm sorry Hattie. I know how you feel. My husband was not supportive at first AT ALL. It made everything 10x harder to deal with. Over time however, he finally started to get it. It took a really long time though and it was frustrating but he is amazingly supportive of my health problems now. 
