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Post by MustangGtGirl on May 2, 2012 9:25:03 GMT -5
I would be happy with adoption if I could afford it. Sure the baby wouldn't be mine but we would be helping each other. I could give an unwanted child a beautiful loving home and the baby would allow me to be a mother. I always wonder what it feels like to be pregnant. My sister has for girls and I asked her what does it feel like to be pregnant and she answers it's the most amazing feeling in the world not something that can be explained. I would love to experience it I don't care how much child birth hurts I would take it no matter how bad as long as I got to experience it.
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neina
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Post by neina on May 2, 2012 11:50:13 GMT -5
It is disgusting how negative people can be about adoption! People who you would never think of being against it, are! I really, REALLY wish adoption wasn't so expensive. Sure, I would be missing the whole experience of being pregnant, but there is so much more that just a baby could give me. Being the one that they want when they are scared or sick, or being the one they look up to , and seek out for their entire life. There is so much more to being a mother than birthing a child. I wish more people realized that before turning their nose up at adoption. I too, would take the worst labor possible to just experience pregnancy. I can only imagine what it is like, but I know it would be amazing.  |
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Post by MustangGtGirl on May 2, 2012 11:56:34 GMT -5
It's like your thoughts about adoption are in my head. There would be no way I would love a child less if they were adopted or if I was able to give birth. The love would be unconditional. My family would take an adopted baby in and love it like it was blood Grandchild or Niece or Nephew. The thing that kills me about adoption is so many children need homes and they make it so hard for loving families to be able to open there doors to these children. I wouldn't have to think twice if my wallet could do it.
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Post by semicolon on May 2, 2012 19:37:53 GMT -5
Fostering can be an option too. It can lead to adoption, and is usually cheaper since the state kicks in. I know it is different than adopting a child outright, but there at lots of kids in need out there. Hugs to all of you girls, this is a tough thing do go through!
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neina
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Post by neina on May 2, 2012 22:42:23 GMT -5
mustanggtgirl- I know! I would adopt like 20 of them!! lol semicolon- I have definitely considered foster care. The hard thing about fostering is that there is always a possibility of the child being moved to a different home (or given back to their family). There is no promise of anything, even adoption. You can not love the child as your own, because if you do... you get your heart beat up pretty badly.
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Post by JC on May 3, 2012 4:24:53 GMT -5
It is disgusting how negative people can be about adoption! People who you would never think of being against it, are! I really, REALLY wish adoption wasn't so expensive. Sure, I would be missing the whole experience of being pregnant, but there is so much more that just a baby could give me. Being the one that they want when they are scared or sick, or being the one they look up to , and seek out for their entire life. There is so much more to being a mother than birthing a child. I wish more people realized that before turning their nose up at adoption. I too, would take the worst labor possible to just experience pregnancy. I can only imagine what it is like, but I know it would be amazing. You've heard people say the are against adoption?   That's awful!!! How could anyone be against adoption??? I have always said if I ever changed my mind about having kids that I would adopt. Giving another human being a fighting chance at life is a beautiful thing and I really can't get my head wrapped around anyone saying they're against it. That's so sad. I'll have to ask my mom about the facts of this story but she has a friend that used to volunteer at a shelter/clinic/board and care (I have no idea what they called it) that took in babies left at hospitals that are born from drug addicted mothers. These babies, yes, do have drugs in their systems but the majority of them have no developmental issues from it but people don't want them because of the drug problem. My mom's friend said she was volunteering in this shelter and one day a baby girl came in and she just fell absolutely in love with her and knew from that day that this girl was supposed to be her daughter. So she adopted her. The little girl is older now and completely healthy and normal. I just love that story because of how she fell in love with a child that was already born in such a sad circumstance but took her in out of love and gave her a promising life. I need to get the name of this place. I just remember it has a woman's name like Annie's House or something like that. |
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Post by 1234 on May 3, 2012 8:49:46 GMT -5
That's a great story, Jenaya. Really great.
The only anti-adoption people I've met are people worried about trafficking issues, which is a huge, huge problem. I've managed a couple anti-trafficking programs in various countries--mostly focused on safe migration/labor conditions for adults/older children, but touching sometimes on trafficking of infants. It's pretty horrible.
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Post by MustangGtGirl on May 3, 2012 12:02:07 GMT -5
THAT IS A GREAT STORY JENAYA.
I have thought about doing foster parenting, but friends of our have done it and had baby's stay with them for up to two years and then get taken back. That would break my heart. The last one they did adopt after 3 years and I was there for the adoption and it was one of the most moving day's of my life. A few months after the adoption they were given his brother and 6 months later the natural father came and took him back. I know it helps the children but I know I would fall in love with them and if taken back I would be broken.
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neina
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Post by neina on May 3, 2012 13:02:53 GMT -5
Yes, they say that if you have the ability to have your own child (by whatever means possible... IVF, fertility drugs, etc) that you shouldn't adopt. So, I guess they aren't *completely* against it...Just enough to make me angry at them. lol
That is a really beautiful story, Jenaya. I wonder if those kinds of shelters still exist?
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Post by JC on May 4, 2012 3:26:07 GMT -5
It's really sad that adoption is so difficult and expensive because there are so many loving families out there and so many children that need homes yet the process prevents the two from coming together. You would think this would be a priority to change this but I guess not.
And I can't even imagine getting attached to one of these kids you foster only to have them taken away! How awful!! This is all just so sad.
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Post by 1234 on May 4, 2012 7:55:30 GMT -5
Our application to be foster parents got rejected yesterday. I'm sort of stunned. The reason given is that my husband and I have "no parenting experience". Knowing this city, I can't help but think that there was a racial element to the rejection, but it's quite a blow.
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Post by JC on May 4, 2012 8:30:54 GMT -5
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ? That is just unbelievably sad. I just can't get over that! How the hell do they expect these kids to be in proper homes!??!? Since when does becoming a parent require experience!?!? Oh my freaking A$(#*&($#@ I am so mad about this. |
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Post by KSA on May 4, 2012 12:29:49 GMT -5
Awww girls I am right there with you. I have one child but will never be able to carry another. All of my friends and family have had the luck to have multiple children and Of course my concern for my husband who will never have his own child is a huge burdern for me I have so much guilt because of it.
Stay positive girls but rant when you need it. It is awful the way people look at you when you say oh I can no longer have a child. It is like people think every woman was made to produce children and some of us cant.
Adoption to me is just like Jenaya said give a child a chance. I am so sorry to hear the foster to adopt program is not going to work for you rustmrytle. So sad I am sure the DC area has a ton of children waiting for a home & you and your husband would make wonderful parents. I have no idea why they make is so expensive and hard to adopt. What about the parents that can freely produce and cant take care of the kids. No application for them! It really makes me mad.
Never give up on your dreams. Yes I believe the little boy you see in your dreams is something to look forward to. Keep staying strong girls you have many options. IVF, adoption & foster to adopt. I think it is wonderful each of you are able to think outside of the box and know that you can still be a parent even if it is not done the traditional way.
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Post by hellsbells on May 4, 2012 13:13:35 GMT -5
Rust I'm so sorry. Same sort of thing happened to me a couple of years back, I applied to be a 'part time' carer where a child in need of respite, or the family, stays with you one weekend a month. Is that an option over there? I was basically told I seemed too career driven and not 'caring' enough. That's not how they said it exactly but that's what they were getting at, based on my behaviour during a short training course. I was pretty cut up. I never tried again because that's when my health problems kicked in. Don't give up, any of you.
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Post by KSA on May 4, 2012 14:28:21 GMT -5
Helen I am so sorry. Gosh career driven! What about the mothers that have nannys and work all day. WOW! Again why are the people that can pop out a baby not filling out a application and going to parent interviews. I wish the rules would change! It will never happen but damn it pisses me off!
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