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Post by cherry on Jan 27, 2011 12:37:49 GMT -5
So you have something to say but find it's not possible. Like that colleague who smells like a pasty. Or your granddad who you'd love to reminisce with about the things he taught you that still serve you later in life. Well it can be funny, ranty, cute, loving, emotional. I find it's not always convenient to say what you mean. Here's my first one.
"Dear January in England, I think we're going to fall out if you don't sort out your attitude problem. You're the worst month in the calendar. Ok closely followed by February, which is awkward for kids to spell. But yeah, you're like the Monday of the year, and we all hate Mondays! Post Christmas, cold, boring, moneyless due to overspending at aforementioned Christmas, sunless and interminably long. You're supposed to be full of hope but you're so miserable that we all break our resolutions due to SAD. If you could put out a bit of sun and have a festival of some sort for us to cheer ourselves up with, that'd be grand. Otherwise I'm moving to Brazil where the near tropical climate means there's barely any reason to notice you being horrible. Thanks then, Bye"
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Post by hellsbells on Jan 27, 2011 15:32:04 GMT -5
Lol
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Post by katiev on Jan 30, 2011 11:16:51 GMT -5
Thats pretty good. I would add a PS to your letter from me: Feel free to snow on sunny days but no ice or wind is aloud....ever!
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Post by cherry on Feb 4, 2011 6:04:44 GMT -5
Dear pet cats, I have provided you with cat litter that must be part gold nuggets, it claims to be THAT good for kitty pooping on. So if you could do me a favour and like, be very cat-like and bury your treasure instead of sniffing it and running off like the hounds of hell are after you, that would seriously make my day. Thanks, I love you.
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Post by Karen on Feb 4, 2011 7:16:16 GMT -5
Here's mine re: my cats -
Dear Baxter & Olive, I'd really appreciate it if you:
1. Don't hog the bed. 2. Let me $*(&@#$ sleep!
Thank you, Tired Karen
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Post by pretty on Feb 4, 2011 14:09:33 GMT -5
Dear Stupid People Please, get out of my town,
Thanks, Pretty
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Post by gemstone on Feb 4, 2011 15:24:29 GMT -5
Ha ha!! Pretty, I had a facebook status like that once:
Attention Humans - GET OUT OF MY WAY. Thank you.
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Post by JC on Feb 4, 2011 15:30:03 GMT -5
Dear Uterus,
I'd appreciate it if you and my rectum could be friends. This bickering is getting really old.
Thanks, J
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Post by gemstone on Feb 4, 2011 15:33:14 GMT -5
Dear Body,
Please behave when I have time off work; just because we're having a break does not mean you get to kick my ass.
Kind Regards
Gemma
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Post by pretty on Feb 4, 2011 16:51:20 GMT -5
Dear Assh0le and Vag area...
Quit faking sick.
Love, Pretty ( don't fvck with me, holes!)
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Post by cherry on Feb 4, 2011 17:54:42 GMT -5
Haha maybe should have put this in the funnies section!
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Post by pretty on Feb 4, 2011 18:38:36 GMT -5
Dear Endo Sisters, ' Sorry for being crass. Facetiously, Pretty
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Post by chicagogal2 on Feb 4, 2011 20:47:50 GMT -5
Dear Ovaries,
Anytime you want to release a really juicy egg to rondezvous with some sperms just let me know - I'm not getting any younger and it would be nice if you would co operate once in awhile!
Love, CG
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Post by gemstone on Feb 5, 2011 5:53:41 GMT -5
Lol at Pretty!
And Chica - 'really juicy egg' tickled me!!!
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Post by anjibella on Feb 7, 2011 9:30:50 GMT -5
Dear Vlad and Jim (ovaries) Please, please, please cooperate this week. I have midterms next week. And I am not going to let your little temper tantrums get in the way of my studying. K, thanks Lots and LOTS of love, Anj
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