nuala
New Member
Posts: 33
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Post by nuala on May 30, 2010 20:01:58 GMT -5
Hi Girls, I'm feeling the zero energy emotional stress or depress thing right now. I went in for a laparoscopy 6 wks ago that turned into laparotomy as they severed an artery TWICE. They ended up having to cut me open vertically from pubic line to above belly button. 6 wks on m scar is horrible and my tummy is disguisting I look like I have another bum on my tummy now. A lot happened after surgery. I caught mrsa in my wound which burst open and I'd a drainage bag inserted for 3 wks to drain the infection, which just left a few other unsightly dimples in my scar. In the middle of all this, myself and my husband had bought a new house and I had to move home. My gynae discovered that both my tubes were completely blocked and twisted with endo and we not repairable. I must mention that this is my 3rd op to remove what I was told was stage 4 endo after the last one. But this time my dr said he did find any endo apart from in my tubes. How can that be?? During this op I lost half my bodys blood. They had to call special surgeons in to stop the bleeding and it turned out very life threatening and critical. So I asked him in my review if it was possible that because off the emergency he could have missed the endo and he said no. But I am still in agony. Before my op I said to my husband that I thought they would find something much more sinister during the op as I have been so ill, sore and totally exhausted but I'm still all 3 of those except I'm now feeling ugly with my deformed tummy and highly emotional. I cry at everything. I dnt think my husband is coping with it either. I found out abt 8 mths ago that my husband is an addict and was stealing my pain meds. So I've been there for him every step of the way in his physical and emotional battle and turmoil of recovery. I've stood by him threw thick and thin and tonight I cried when he said something hurtful to me and he told me that he thinks we need to go to councilling. I just feel now like the support isn't being returned. Is it a selfish man thing that we have to deal with their emotions but they won't deal with ours or what?? I'm so unhappy. I don't know if what I'm feeling is stress or depress, I'm just lost. I'm typing this on a tiny screen on my phone so please excuse any crazy type o's. Nuala xo
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Post by Kitty on May 31, 2010 1:16:15 GMT -5
*hugs* Surgery is always hard. And it sounds like they really did a number on you! Malpractice?? That sucks your husband isnt being there for you like he should be. I'm not even sure what else to say it sounds like a lot is going on. It's okay to cry though. Sometimes its a good release. Maybe keep a pain diary and journal so you can write down how you are feeling emotionaly and physically atm. Hang in there.
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Post by hellsbells on May 31, 2010 3:19:14 GMT -5
Wow that sucks. I don't really know what to say. Men generally don't deal with emotions in the same way we do. Counselling probably isn't a bad idea, but I think you might want to think about some for yourself before you go into couples'. You've been through a lot, noboby would blame you for putting yourself first for a while. Maybe hubby could get some of his own too?
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Post by pamelaj on May 31, 2010 6:31:00 GMT -5
Im sorry youre going all of this. Surgery, moving, youre husband...I couldnt imagine. Seems like you have alot on your plate right now and not sure which way to turn. If you need to cry, then cry. I find its great therapy, and its free. As for your husband, Kudos to you for being there for him. Pain killers are the worst, and easiest thing to get addicted to. I have seen both my niece, and nephew, addicted to them, and go with withdrawls from getting clean. Please hang in there for him even though it is added stress for you. Most importantly, take one day at a time, relax as much as you can and take care of yourself. If you dont recover and get healthy then none of the other issues matter.
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Post by Karen on May 31, 2010 9:17:42 GMT -5
Wow, you have so much on your plate! I can't imagine having to cope with just one of those things, let alone all of them at once! I'm a big fan of counseling, we aren't hard-wired to know how to cope with all these things on our own. But, Pam is right - take care of yourself first. Get strong, get healthy, and get better first! That should absolutely be your first priority! I know it's not that easy, but you owe it to yourself.
Hugs!
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nuala
New Member
Posts: 33
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Post by nuala on May 31, 2010 13:58:54 GMT -5
Thanks to all of you - even just to know that you think its alot to deal with is some reassurance for me - sometimes its hard to know if im over-reacting or not. I've had a very hard day with tiredness etc today because i didn't sleep at all last night from being so upset - but my husband came home from work and seen the toll it had taken on me straight away. so immediately he went and got me my pjs, hot water bottle, duvet and a cuppa and told me to lie on the sofa and not get up - he made me my dinner and then came and sat down beside me and we looked up the ivf clinic we're being referred to and read through it all togeether which was nice - we also spoke about endo and the effects it has on the emotions aswell as the body and tomorrow when he comes home from work he is going to come on this site to read other womens experiences so he cant get some understanding of exactly how deep the effects of endo are on us. So i think it has been a step in the right direction - hopefully ill get some sleep tonight. Thanks again for your support. Nuala xo
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