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Post by Kitty on Apr 17, 2009 13:36:58 GMT -5
Lately I have been on the verge of tears any little thing will set me off. Sometimes i look at my behavior and think wth that isnt me....
I'm not sure what the deal is if its depression or if im just stressed and pushed to the emotional edge so that its ready at any moment.. : /
any insight? ....besides drugs?...I'd like to stay as granola as possible...
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Post by Karen on Apr 17, 2009 14:35:19 GMT -5
I've certainly been like that. I find it's not quite so bad for me now, but I still don't make it through the day without breaking into tears at least once.
I'm not big on drugs - turns out a lot of women with endo are very sensitive to drugs (I've been feeling that for years - now I finally have some justification!) - so this is what I've been working with. Not saying it'll work for everyone, but it's a step in the right direction for me. 1. Therapy. This is new for me. But I found a great therapist (good friend suggested her) that helps me with the rough spots. She told me that eventually the ups and downs with my health won't set me off like they did and I remember asking her 'but how?' and turns out a few months later she was right. 2. Eating well. My therapist insists on this. Can't fight depression when you're putting crap in your body. She strongly suggested I cook a few meals on Sunday to eat throughout the week so I can make healthy choices throughout the week. It's made a HUGE difference. I've also been following the insulin resistance diet and it gives me a bit of structure and focus to what I'm eating. 3. Exercise - I'm not quite up to where I want to be, but recognize that I feel better when I'm working out regularly. 4. Getting control of the pain. Duh. So much easier to be in a good mood when I'm not in complete agony! Tons of reading to learn different strategies, supplements from my naturopath, and the insulin resistance diet have made a HUGE difference in my quality of life. Going on 2.5 weeks of much lower pain. It's had such an impact on my mental well being. I've been under a considerable amount of stress the last 2 weeks and I've been able to keep it together more than in the past.
I always find that when I feel like I have some sort of control over a situation, I'm not as much of a wreck. And all of the above have helped me feel like I have more control. Don't get me wrong - it too me a while to get to this point and I still have a ways to go - but I'll take the improvements! Not sure if that's what you quite had in mind, but figured I'd at least share my experience. Good luck!
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cj
Full Member
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Post by cj on Apr 17, 2009 19:09:48 GMT -5
Hey jaemsysn. Sorry to hear you are so down. I think everyone goes through periods like that. I attended a really good gastroenterologist during the summer who gave me some good advice. He basically said it was completely normal to be down and upset about feeling sick all the time. It would wear anyone down. The thing to do is not add to your stress by begin hard on yourself for feeling depressed. I think Olsenka's list is great advice. I have gradually introduced most of those things and think they are starting to work for me. (Exercise has however gone out the window since my lap five weeks ago but hope to get into it again soon)
Hope you feel better soon.
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Post by JC on May 1, 2009 7:14:22 GMT -5
Hey, I can definitely relate. I used to pride myself on being so even tempered. Lately, however anything just sends me into tears. I'm so depressed, unhappy, and miserable and I can't figure out what the hell is so awful in my life to be causing me to feel this way. Granted, things aren't going all that great in my life but it never stopped me from being optimistic. Lately, I just feel so hopeless and I just want to cry all the time. THIS ISN'T NORMAL FOR ME! I'm so miserable all the time.
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Post by Kitty on May 1, 2009 12:14:58 GMT -5
Aww Jenaya!! I'm sorry!! You seemed soo positive when your first got on here! I know that learning about endo can be overwhelming and make you sad because of fears. But you never know how your endo will be. And just because something happened to one person doesnt mean it will happen to you too.
I've been trying to realize that since after i read a lot of info on endo. I learned of ppl whose s/o left them so i was freaking out that my bf of almost 8years would leave me. But that just isn't the case. so I'm trying to put things in prospective and realize that endo doesn't always mean the same thing will happen to me as its happened to some others.
Chin up sweetie! You'll get thru this! <3
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Post by Kitty on May 2, 2009 11:50:52 GMT -5
So this last week I got so stressed out because my dads health is getting worse and he is now unable to work.. so yea super stressed so much in fact that i burst an eye vessel in my left eye. This normally happens when i get overload. Usually it gets better quick.... not this time it got worse and worse and spread. Now my whole left eye is red and it hurts to move it. It's like i strained it from reading too much or something... i dunno but this blows... i gots ta go see the eye doctor today.. :T And im pretty damn sure it isnt pink eye... since like i said i get the blood vessels poping when im stressed..i think i need some yoga...
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Post by Karen on May 2, 2009 17:25:13 GMT -5
Yikes! You've got a lot on your plate. Sending good thoughts both you and your dad's way!
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Post by Kitty on May 2, 2009 18:55:33 GMT -5
Thank You!! Very much appreciated!!
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Post by hazeleyes on Jun 17, 2009 10:14:38 GMT -5
I know that learning about endo can be overwhelming and make you sad because of fears.
^^This is so true! Before I knew anything about endo I was in pain but I was used to it. So everytime the pain came I just clenched to something for dear life until it passed then continued on with what I was doing. And thats when I went to the doctor because it was unbarable. When the doctor told me she thought it was endo i was 'okay cool cut it out and everything will be great!" But the more I read about it and listen to other peoples stories the more fears I have and the more depressed I get thinking that it will come back, and not knowing if I will be fertile when the time comes. It just plain sucks the more I read, everyone I talk to about it keeps telling me to stop reading about it until I have the surgery and know more about my situation. It has all become very stressful!
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Post by Kitty on Jun 17, 2009 11:19:41 GMT -5
But the more you know the more power you gain. And the knowledge you gain will make it so you know what you decision will be when you do find out. It's better to know things and take control then to not and to go into it blinded. I mean IMO i really wish I researched before my surgery because i think i would have chosen another doctor who was more knowledgeable.
We shouldn't be the victim we should be the hero who knows how to handle the problem... well that's just how i feel about it now..
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Post by Karen on Jun 17, 2009 12:01:04 GMT -5
^^ I'm with you on this one, Jaemsysn!
Yes, it can be a scary disesase, but the more you know about it, the more empowered you are and can make better decisions regarding your care. I think many of us started this journey fully trusting our health care providers, but through our own learning, realized that we weren't getting the full story, that there was a lot more to it than a doc could cover in a 15 minute appointment. Not saying I don't trust all docs, but I felt much more comfortable with this disease once I 1. knew what was going on inside my body and 2. knew there things that I could do to take control of things. Mind you, I spent a good deal of time completely depressed, defeated, and thoroughly scared, and I still find myself mourning the 'loss of my former life' in some regards, but I have much more of my life back now that I know so much and actually feel like I'm in control.
I say learn as much as you can now. Knowledge is power! You're the only one that can be your own best advocate. Do whatever it takes!
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Post by hazeleyes on Jun 17, 2009 12:17:43 GMT -5
i completely agree and I have learned alot of helpful information that was necessaryand will continue to ...but ignorance was bliss
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Post by Karen on Jun 17, 2009 12:33:33 GMT -5
I agree with that, too! I strongly suggest reading Endo - The complete reference for taking charge of your health by Mary Lou Ballweg. For me, it's the endo bible and really helped put things into perspective for me, covered the disease as a whole, not just in bits and pieces.
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Post by omaklackey on Jun 25, 2009 23:34:59 GMT -5
I'm not sure Ignorance is bliss. I was so tired of wondering if it was all in my head. I'm still glad to have a diagnoses even if its a sucky one. I can say "I hurt" and no one gives me a funny look or tries to dismiss it. I'm sure that's only until they 'think' I'm healed from surgery but its still a comfort anyways. LOL
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renee
New Member
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Post by renee on Jul 6, 2009 16:09:41 GMT -5
I cry alot too. There have been a couple days that I was just so frustrated with not knowing what is wrong with me that I cried all day. I dont think Im necessarily depressed, it just gets overwhelming sometimes. My doctor thought I might be getting depressed and wanted me to try lexapro. The first night I took it I woke up at 2am and felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. Suffice it to say that was the one and only pill I took. I actually feel a little better after a good cry.
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