Jenn
Junior Member
Posts: 71
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Post by Jenn on Nov 2, 2006 23:47:09 GMT -5
See my mother is totally sympathetic b/c she had Endo. but, my mother in law(who I love) always makes me feel like it's not that bad and that I am just over dramatic! I just wish everyone could understand it. My sister too...she is great w/ helping me w/ my son when I am in really bad pain but, she still doesn't understand! Just b/c I can't get out of bed one day and fine the next doesn't mean I am cured. I have good and bad days! It would be nice if they could feel it for one day just to understand.
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Post by ouchy on Nov 3, 2006 0:15:55 GMT -5
My mother-in-law is actually way more sympathetic to my endo than my own mother. While I do think she thinks that I "fake" a lot of the endo pain, she was the mom who made an international call after each lap I've had to check on me--when my own mom insulted me and hung up on me! My mother-in-law did kinda' aggravate me (though I know she thought she was helping) by calling one morning to tell my husband that she talked to a gynecologist (also family member), and he told her that all I have to do is have a baby...and I'll be cured. She was sooo excited to tell us that. I know she was helping, but it is sad that so many doctors still believe in that fallacy!
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Post by cherry on Nov 3, 2006 3:56:07 GMT -5
My boyfriends mum is also very kind, she looked really sad when I was first diagnosed and has been supportive but also asking questions when she doesn't understand instead of assuming things. The day I was diagnosed she made me my fave dinner in the world to which was so nice and comforting (mashed potatoes - number one comfort food) I am in danger of putting her on a pedestal cos she does everything I wish my mum would do
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Post by ouchy on Nov 3, 2006 22:33:50 GMT -5
cherry...homemade mashed potatoes? ;D Yum!!! I also have kind of put my mother-in-law on a pedestal. I know it will really cause problems when my husband and I do have a little baby in the future--because I asked my mother-in-law to come stay with us...I'd rather have her over my mother any day! I don't know. I just look at my mother-in-law and how she treats her children, and I fall in love with the entire family, time-after-time! It's like a fairy tale compared to my own family! I love it, so warm and inviting! It's all very romantic. ...I probably sound like a loon now!
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Post by cherry on Nov 5, 2006 20:08:21 GMT -5
I know exactly what you mean! My mini mum has 6 young adult kids but still looks after them well, dinner made, washing done and birthdays organised while she also has a very demanding full time job. She is very sensible and kind and caring, and for my 21st, bought me lots of gifts and treated me like one of her own, I almost cried cos my own mother... well on the day she gave me a card she had asked my sister to buy. That confused me so much because i was angry, and ashamed for my mum, then ashamed for feeling that way. But I know what kinda mum i want to be cos I have a great example now, whereas before i just knew I didn't want to be like my own mum! They are a big lovely family, birthdays are always a treat no matter whose it is! I am so glad I can be a part of that!
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Post by ouchy on Nov 5, 2006 20:46:58 GMT -5
^Exactly!!!! 100% what I mean!
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Post by kaitlynblunt on Dec 3, 2006 22:41:14 GMT -5
My mom always tells me to just get over it and that the pain will go away and it's not as bad as i think. Like i do it for attention yah right cuz i have nothing better to do then fake sick. When i was going for my secnd surgery(which was cancelled) since i can decide to follow the doc's advice without my mom's consent she thought i was nuts and didn;t need it until she talked to the doc. and then she was all for it. it gets cancelled and now she won't lay off me to reschedule it when i'm finding a time that works with my school sinc ei'm in the last yr of highschool. She;s always like that one day she udnerstands the next she doesn't want to hear it and denies eveyrthing
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Post by ouchy on Dec 3, 2006 22:56:44 GMT -5
^ My mom is the exact same way!!!!!!!!! Maybe having a bipolar mother predisposes offspring to having endo.
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Post by takecontrol on Jan 12, 2007 0:06:56 GMT -5
Wow this rant hits close to home... My dad and my step mom will continually tell me it's all in my head, and went so far as to accuse me of being a hypochondriac. As far as I can tell, it's impossible to explain to soemone your pain, the only ones who can even try to understand it are people who have been there with me during my period. My boyfriend and I were in the shower last weekend when my pain hit me like a wall and I threw up all over him and then passed out. I woke up on the bathroom floor after he had lifted me out, with him next to me asking if I was ok, and the look of shock on his face told me he FINALLY got it. Thank goodness we could laugh about it after, or that would have been embarrasing Like someone before me said, if they cant see it, it doesnt count ^^my moms bipolar too, maybe we've made a connection?^^
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Post by ouchy on Jan 12, 2007 0:24:29 GMT -5
My boyfriend and I were in the shower last weekend when my pain hit me like a wall and I threw up all over him and then passed out. I woke up on the bathroom floor after he had lifted me out, with him next to me asking if I was ok, and the look of shock on his face told me he FINALLY got it. Thank goodness we could laugh about it after, or that would have been embarrasing Your boyfriend must be "drop dead gorgeous!" So gorgeous he makes you faint!!! Just kidding. I've passed out on the bathroom floor, too!
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Post by takecontrol on Jan 12, 2007 1:08:51 GMT -5
ahh, but have you thrown up on someone? Isnt that on some top 30 to do before in 30 lists? jk, really ;D
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Post by ouchy on Jan 12, 2007 10:19:58 GMT -5
lol
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Post by cherry on Jan 12, 2007 13:06:59 GMT -5
That pain sounds awful! Sorry you've got it so so bad, makes me wonder what I have to moan about really!
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Post by candice on Jan 12, 2007 21:01:54 GMT -5
I know what you mean. Some days are so good that you feel as if everything is under control and life is going to be normal. On those days, I do special things like buy a new book, or go to a movie with Hubby, skip marking my students papers for a nice long bath. Little celebrations. Then, if and when a bad day comes, it's not as bad because I just had a really good rest and I'm ready to deal with the not so good things in life.
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Post by ouchy on Jan 12, 2007 22:00:04 GMT -5
SO, here is what happened w/ my mom today. Note that I haven't spoken to her directly since before Thanksgiving (personal reasons I won't go in to on here). I had a missed call from her on my cell this morning. I decided to call her number back because I thought something may have happened to my brother. She answered the phone and told me that she had no idea her phone had called me--possible, yes, but in this case unlikely. She started crying and told me that she had just gotten back from the hospital. Apparently, she found a lump in her breast and had to go for a mammogram--she is almost 60...this was her FIRST mammogram. Anyway, I was concerned with what she had to say, but it was almost like reading a post on here--women we care about but to whom we are not really attached. That's sad, because she's my mother, biologically. It was exactly the same sorrow and concern I would have felt for an acquaintance. We ended the call with a sorrowful plea from her for an "I love you" from me. I told her after much prodding to boost her morale, but I didn't feel anything from it. I was still crying, but that is because I have a stupid brain injury and cry frequently over anything that is sad, happy, etc. Anyway, it was just a very bizarre moment. I hope she will be okay and that the tumor or whatever it is will be benign, but I didn't feel anything different than I would have had this been told to me by a friend.
It feels weird that now that something is possibly wrong with her, she wants to have a mother-daughter relationship. Every single time I let her back in my life, it just turns to a horrible mess. I don't know what to do. I could take the high ground--again...but that is just setting myself up for an emotional beating and is starting to get tiring. I definitely won't ignore her, but I don't want to pretend to love the woman after everything physically and mentally she has done to me. It may sound cold, but I don't think she deserves that, and I feel that there is too much water under the bridge to ever honestly have feelings of love for her.
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