aj
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Posts: 6
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Post by aj on Apr 2, 2006 3:32:27 GMT -5
Hi - I was diagnosed with endo via lap in Jan 06. my gyno moved from back to back birth control (tri-cyclen) to depo at beginning of March. I've been told my chances are less than 15%. I'm getting married in June 07, and really don't think I'm ready to ne pregant before then. I'm 24, and wasn't planning to start a family for another 2 1/2 yrs or so. Just finished law school, and want to settle in my career a bit first, but keep hearing the same thing...if you want to get pregant, sooner is better. Is this true? A family would take priority over my career, but I don't know if there's an expiry date on fertility for women in my condition. My finacé is ok with a: me getting pregant now or any other time, or b: me never getting pregant. I appreciate his support, but at the same time I get pissed because he already has three kids nad doesn't quite understand what it's like to not have any. I'm a great step-mom, but I just want so badly to have someone call me mom. Anyone been through this OR have any advice? I'd appreciate ANY and ALL feedback on this one - tired of crying into my pillow at night over it. Thanks!
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Post by erzulie on Apr 2, 2006 17:09:10 GMT -5
Hello, I doubt if I can be of much help since I'm not in your position at all, but since no one's responded yet I thought I'd give my inexpert opinion. I used to work in a day care, and I saw all kinds of parents (and kids) on a daily basis. One thing I learned while I was there is that having kids before you are absolutely 100% ready is probably the worst mistake you can ever make. I met some parents who probably just should never have had kids but who caved to pressure from family etc, and I met parents who probably would have been great parents if they'd just waited a little longer before having kids. I can tell you now that it has everything to do with how the kids turn out. Everybody has certain things they want to accomplish before having kids, whether it's career goals, school, writing the next best-selling novel, or whatever, and you also have to be at just the right place emotionally to be ready. If you're not, you may love your kids to death, but you'll also resent them a bit and they'll know it. You won't have as much patience with them as you should, and you'll just have a hard time putting them first. It was the parents in this boat who were most likely to leave their kids at the day care 10 hours a day. Doctors have a way of freaking their patients out about pregnancy, and I can't understand why, but the fact is that never having kids is better than having them and then possibly screwing them up because you just weren't quite ready for them. I really love kids, and I believe they deserve the best life possible. If you jump into motherhood because you're scared it's now or never, you may not be able to give them the best possible. That being said, it's true that your fertility could be at greater risk as the disease progresses, but it's also true that what your doctor said about you having a 15% chance of getting pregnant may mean nothing. I've heard of women who are told that their reproductive systems are in perfect health who try for years to get pregnant and don't get anywhere; I've also heard of women who were told that they'd never get pregnant who managed to do it with little difficulty. Anything your doctor says about your likelihood of getting pregnant is just an educated guess. I wouldn't let that number torment me if I were you. The good news is, your fiance is flexible. He's not pressuring you to do anything in particular, so you've got it better than some people. The choice is totally yours. If I were in your shoes, I would wait until I was definitely ready to have a kid, and then try to get pregnant. If it didn't work, I'd look into adoption. Sometimes you have to just trust fate. If you're meant to get pregnant, then you will; if you're not, that doesn't mean no one will ever call you mom.
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aj
New Member
Posts: 6
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Post by aj on Apr 4, 2006 1:08:11 GMT -5
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! It's so nice to have opinions from someone who can TRULY sympatize with my position. You have given me hope, and that is the greatest gift I can think of. Thanks again! AJ
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Post by ouchy on Apr 4, 2006 18:06:34 GMT -5
And, you can always do in-vitro. A lot of insurance companies are covering infertility costs by 50%!
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Post by Janet on Apr 5, 2006 12:22:24 GMT -5
I just want to add it doesn't mean infertility. I've had horrible cramping and pain my whole menstruating life. I was just diagnosed in Oct '05 with endo but the symptoms have been there for a long time. Anyway, I have a 3 year old that was completely meant to be. I never wanted children, I was careful, and I had sex 1 time that year. So he was not in my life plan but he was in someone plan for me. I just wanted to add this as alot of women think endo means infertility but that isnt' always the case. A high percentage of infertility cases are endo, but that doesn't mean a high percentage of endo people are infertile. I thought I read a number down in the 30%, that really isn't that bad of odds.
janet
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Post by ashleyendo on Oct 29, 2007 13:36:53 GMT -5
i was diagnosed with endo via lap in 2003, im only 19 now and ive been hearing the same thing, get pregnant as soon as possible, don't wait.
its ridiculous but its good to hear everyones advise
: )thanks so much
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