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Post by JC on Jan 12, 2011 6:12:12 GMT -5
Katiev I totally understand what you're saying about how you feel he didn't want to marrry this. But I also think that we do say "in sickness and in health!" And when you love someone enough to want to marry them, you accept everything about them. Of course in an ideal situation we all stay young and healthy but it just doesn't happen. And that's what makes marriage hard. But when you work through the hard times it can really build a rewarding relationship. OMG and don't even get me started about the snowboarding! I used to be a competitive snowboarder until I hit my head one too many times. Then I moved to the east coast which there are hardly any mountains so I had to stop But in retrospect it was a blessing in disguise because now I'm popping up with brain issues. FUN! I love you guys. You're all the best. And I'm starting to think, it's easy to have a friendship with someone who's healthy. But the people who stick by your side when you are sick, those are the people worth keeping. It hurts to see some friends go, but I'm so happy with the ones I have.
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Post by JC on Jan 12, 2011 6:20:08 GMT -5
You guys aren't even gonna believe this. So yesterday I go to pick up my husband from the train station as usual. He gets in and imediately asks, "hey, how are you feeling? Are you ok? How is your head?" I was like WTF? Who the hell just got into my truck? I replied with "fine" which in female language usually isn't the total truth. And it wasn't in that case because I was having horrific cramps (which I normally don't get anymore). But I didn't feel comfortable telling him because I can't stand the blank look I get back when I tell him I feel bad. So fast forward to dinner time. We are eating and he's talking about work. I'm finding it hard to sit in the chair let alone listen to every word he says. So I tell him, "Hey I'm not trying to ignore you it's just that I'm having really bad cramps and it's hard for me to think about anything else right now." He gets these big eyes and says, "Awww why didn't you tell me earlier when I asked how you were doing?" Again, HUH? Did I pick up the right man at the train station? Who the EFF are you??? I was in such shock that I didn't even say anything back! LOL He was just in the strangest mood yesterday like he suddenly could see inside my head and know what I wanted. And to top it all off, we went to bed and he did one of those light finger tracing massages on my neck upper back and shoulders and I drifted sweetly off to sleep. Ok so WHAT THE HELL? How in the world did he suddenly get a friggin clue? I really don't want to get my hopes up but I kinda feel like this hopeless situation may not be so hopeless afterall! Absolutely strange behavior yesterday! Maybe someone at work talked some sense into him? Who knows but dear God it felt so flippin amazing! I guess this is what a supportive husband feels like? It's such a wonderful feeling!!! ;D
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Post by Karen on Jan 12, 2011 7:31:20 GMT -5
How funny that you're so confused by it!! But that's awesome that he's picking up on some cues and comments and he's taking the time to ask. Now, since guys are so dense, be sure to be extra encouraging to him every time he asks so he keeps doing it!!!
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Post by gemstone on Jan 12, 2011 7:34:35 GMT -5
Maybe he snuck a look on here... I echo Karen, keep encouraging him
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Post by JC on Jan 12, 2011 8:32:03 GMT -5
LOL gemstone I thought about that! And Karen, I've been oozing all over him about how good he made me feel. I think he got the hint
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Post by chicagogal2 on Jan 12, 2011 8:43:14 GMT -5
J - that's awesome! I'm happy that he was like that for you yesterday. Make sure you tell him today how thankful you were for his kindness last night - tell him exactly how it made you feel, that will encourage him to keep doing the same thing! YAY!
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Post by JC on Jan 12, 2011 8:53:34 GMT -5
HAHA I have been! I don't want to over do it and annoy him but I just can't stop thanking him and telling him how good I feel. How freakin sad I'm so deprived! LOL
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Post by tarabobara17 on Jan 12, 2011 12:04:33 GMT -5
Reading this was just like reading pieces of my own life! Finally other people understand! When i first got diagnosed my mother didn't really seem to believe me. My high school principle was more understanding than her! I have lost many friends, some even telling me they didn't want to hang out with me anymore because I'm such a drag, and i complain about little things that are just normal. Ugh. What b.s. they have no idea, and no right to judge me! I might not "look sick" but it doesn't change that i am sick. My fiance has been very good with all this, supportive and everything, but even he sometimes give me looks of un-approval when I'm having a bad day. My 2 year old daughter doesn't understand yet, and it pains me to have to tell her that mommy has owies and can't play and rough house like daddy. I have even had a moment where i nearly lost a job strictly on the ground that I didn't look sick, and they assumed i had been making things up to get out of work and they actually thought i was FORGING doctors notes! I had to have a meeting with my manager and the owner to explain that i would never fake a medical problem, show them photos from my lap, and give them my doctors number so they could talk to her in front of me That was so embarrassing, it was in front of people i worked with AND customers. I hope no one has to go through that ever. My boyfriend at the time told me that i exaggerated everything and that i had an attention seeking personality and that this was all in my head. Needless to say, I ended that relationship before he could continue, but unfortunately i lost a lot of friend because of him telling everyone i faked all my medical problems. My fiance and I are really struggling right now, we love each other very very much, but the stress of being young parents, on top of my constantly having medical problems, and being moody from the treatments is just sabotaging my happy life. I feel guilty a lot, i feel like I am a burden to him, he insists thats not that case, but i can sense in our arguments that he really just wants to run away as far as he can to remain a single care free man. He has admitted to me that he would love that sometimes, but thats not what he really wants, he just wants breaks from being a young dad with a sick fiance so he can unwind and continue to be helpful, instead of eventually getting fed up with life's stresses and taking it out on me, when he doesn't mean it. *sigh, sometimes i wish i would just look sick for a moment to people would understand
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Post by pretty on Jan 12, 2011 12:29:52 GMT -5
Jenay I had the same thing happen last night, had a horrible headache (which I never get) and hubby was not just kind, he was supportive. For some reason I think because he himself gets headaches all the time and can relate. Anyhow, cheers to the men! Let them continue to surprise and amaze us!
* I just edited my crass and perverted comment stating the sexual favor I prefer to enact when hubby is awesome.
HA haha
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Post by JC on Jan 12, 2011 13:59:05 GMT -5
Hey Tara, we will always understand how you feel here! People are just so damn ignorant! If you have time, read through the thread titled "what it really means to have endometriosis." cjlevett.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=4217It will really touch home with how you feel. I think it's also a good way to explain to people what it's like to be sick and tired all the time if they are willing to read.
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Post by JC on Jan 12, 2011 13:59:50 GMT -5
And pretty, you crack me up! I wonder wtf is going on with our husbands! Is it a full moon or something?
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Post by hellsbells on Jan 12, 2011 14:11:12 GMT -5
Jenaya I just welled up reading that. Long may it continue.
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Post by tarabobara17 on Jan 13, 2011 10:23:32 GMT -5
Jenaya that article was amazing! I showed my fiance, and he was flabbergasted. He asked me how accurate that article was. I informed him to a tee, it's like reading you're own life story written by a doctor who finally gets it. He had a sad look on his face, gave me a hug, and has informed me that when i need back rubs, they will be free now lol (we have a you rub my back and i'll rub you're back policy in the house)
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Post by JC on Jan 14, 2011 7:14:04 GMT -5
YAY!!!! I love how someone was able to put it into words! It really helps explain it to people who can't understand. I want a free backrub! My hubz needs to step up his game a little. LOL
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Post by JC on Feb 4, 2011 14:19:31 GMT -5
Question of the day: What is the one bit of advice you wish you knew when you were first diagnosed. What would you tell someone who was just diagnosed yesterday?
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