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Post by lizzylou on Sept 24, 2010 19:11:17 GMT -5
Side note: I'm also not a mom who "throws down" or bitches about every little thing the teacher does. I want to work WITH the teacher in order for him to get the best education he can get. When I calmed down a bit, I realized my main concern was not being told about an issue when I should have been, and having untied shoe laces can be dangerous and I didn't like him being put in a possibly dangerous situation without being told about the issue before hand.
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Post by lizzylou on Sept 24, 2010 19:12:58 GMT -5
It should not be your son's responsibility to worry about his shoes, its yours. I agree completely, but in order to worry about his shoes I need to know there is an issue to start with. |
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Post by Karen on Sept 25, 2010 7:15:31 GMT -5
Liz, I don't think ANY of us think you're a crappy parent! Geez, kids learn all sorts of things at different ages, it's not a race.  But as for my thoughts on expectations of teachers, that's a real hot button of mine. (Can you tell?  I think Pretty summed up my thoughts extremely well, but between some late nights and early mornings, well, it didn't come across as eloquently as Pretty. My point is this: do not expect your kid's teachers to be perfect. They are not. They may do some things that you may not agree with, and that's ok with the little issues. And I realize you didn't suggest she go into a completely different industry, but yes, becoming a high school teacher IS a complete career change. Different college requirements, different teaching license, different culture and expectations. I realize that may have been a statement you made just off the cuff, but it's just not something I can let go. When i said if she doesn't want to tie shoes she should teach high school, I DID NOT say that she should rethink her career path, I didn't say she should go be a lawyer. To suggest, based on one difference of opinions on how things were handled (which were cleared up a few days later), that she is teaching the wrong grade, is not fair. Think about yourself at work every day. Do you make everyone happy all the time? Do some people question some of the decisions you make, and feel that the consequences based on those decisions are greater than what you feel the consequences are? I know I certainly do. But no one suggests you or I even switch departments based on those kinds of daily things. We get busy, we forget to do something until a few days later, we're not perfect. And with the minor things, it's not the end of the world. Yeah, someone might approach us and say 'hey, next time can you do ... instead' and we adjust as necessary and they don't give it a second thought. But when it comes to teachers, many people expect nothing but perfection. All of a sudden, the expectation changes. And it shouldn't. (Ok, I'm stepping down from my soap box now.) Anyway, I'm glad you guys were able to talk it over and clear things up. And I hope you and I have cleared things up, too. |
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Post by lizzylou on Sept 25, 2010 9:07:11 GMT -5
hmmm....let me try to explain this a different way.
Let me start by saying I agree if she's tying a kid's shoe 5 times a day that's an issue and she doesn't have time to spend a half hour out of a day tying shoes. I DO NOT expect anyone to sit there and tie my son's shoes all day, or anyone else's. Once in a while, yes, I don't see why it's an issue. Tieing shoes is something that comes with the territory of 5K, along with explaining what a word means, or reading something to them (if a kid says "hey, what does this say"). I feel if someone doesn't want to deal with the normal issues for that grade level, perhaps they should be teaching a different grade. I have to make excel spreadsheets and place orders at my job. I don't like them, but it's part of my job requirement and if I don't want to do it, I should perhaps find someone else that's a better fit.
That being said, no I don't expect her to be perfect. I think a large part of this is a misunderstanding that happened when a message was sent through a 5-year old.
*sigh* I'm tired of talking about this now...
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Post by JC on Sept 25, 2010 10:10:00 GMT -5
But you did resolve it with her didn't you? That's a positive thing! What did the resolution end up being? You buying him new shoes or her tying your sons laces?
After you talked to the teacher, did it seem like such a big deal after all?
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Post by cherry on Sept 25, 2010 12:53:21 GMT -5
Completely going off the topic here, but this whole thing reminds me of being in reception class (kindergarten) and I couldn't zip up my school coat, for some reason I was terrified of it. The teacher was trying to help some kids who couldn't even work out how to put their coats on, and she quickly zipped me up. And managed to zip my chin into the coat. I howled! I learnt to be self-sufficient pretty quickly after that, with a funny scar on my chin. Thank God back in those days parents weren't suing mad, it was a simple mistake to make when handling a class full of 4 year olds who were confused by the function of gloves and hats. Good times.
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Post by lizzylou on Sept 25, 2010 16:28:36 GMT -5
Jenaya - The resolution is that she gave me some great tips for helping him learn. She suggested a different method that we have been working on. She said sometimes kids just aren't ready yet and they need more time to be able to do it. She said she doesn't expect me to buy him new shoes. There was a bit of miscommunication, mostly due to the message coming through a small child, which she apologized for and said she should have sent a note. I will be double knotting his shoes or sending him in slipons if he doesn't learn how.
After i calmed down the next morning it wasn't such a big deal. I made my original post about 5 minutes after I was all worked up, so it seemed like I was a lot more ticked that I should have been because I hadn't really spent any time thinking it through yet. I tend to get worked up about something and then when I think it through and deal with the issue I figure out exactly why I'm upset and how big of a problem it really is.
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Post by omaklackey on Sept 25, 2010 18:20:46 GMT -5
"After i calmed down the next morning it wasn't such a big deal. I made my original post about 5 minutes after I was all worked up, so it seemed like I was a lot more ticked that I should have been because I hadn't really spent any time thinking it through yet. "  I emphasize with you Lizzy lou, I have the same problem when it relates to my kids. I have three and my hubby had to listen to a whole huge tirade one night last week when I was telling him we needed to move because I was so mad at a situation with my kids and a teacher. It was quite ridiculous from my point of view but I didn't take time to really think it out and just started ranting. Turned out it resolved itself because I was right and the person had a whole bunch of other parents come to her with the same issue. I could have saved myself a tirade if I had just waited. oops...  Mama bear syndrome I think! I'm glad to hear you resolved it anyways. |
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Post by lizzylou on Sept 25, 2010 20:36:36 GMT -5
Mama bear syndrome I think! PERFECT! I think that's what it is. when someone comes up with a child, you immediatly go into mama bear mode. |
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Post by JC on Sept 25, 2010 22:09:26 GMT -5
well it sounds like a perfect resolution! I'm glad it turned out the way it did! And it also sounds like the teacher isn't so bad afterall it's funny you guys say mama bear. I call my mom "mama lion." |
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Post by lizzylou on Sept 26, 2010 10:02:31 GMT -5
I'm from WI and spent a large amount of my youth in the woods up north. I was constantly warned about how mama bears protect their young. So that's my excuse |
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Post by omaklackey on Sept 26, 2010 16:05:58 GMT -5
Mine too!! LOL, we were always warned NEVER go near a baby bear because momma bear is somewhere close by!
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smayw
New Member
Posts: 35
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Post by smayw on Sept 27, 2010 10:51:07 GMT -5
My mother-in-law was a teacher for 25+ years. She frequently said that she hated elementary school and would never again teach it -especially K and 1st grades because you were doing more shoe typing and nose wiping than actual teaching. It wasn't for her and she switched grades (she was a middle school teacher). That being said, yes the teacher should have told you either via a phone call, during a class meeting or note home. A 5 yo is terrible at communicating these sorts of things. Ask the kindergartener what he or she did in school that day. Often,you'll get the "nothing" response.  When my son was in kindergarten, the teachers made sure to tell the parents that the kids need to be able to handle their own clothing issues (button/zip pants, tie shoes, zip coats) as they really don't have time to do this for every single child. The teachers were VERY upfront about it during parent conferences BEFORE classes started and than again during a back-to-school night. So, my son did not wear overalls (couldn't get them off to use the restroom) or shoes with ties (he was 6.5 yo when he learned to tie his shoes). Either way, I'm glad you got this resolved. I understand the Mama Bear syndrome. My son was given Lucky Charms cereal on day 1 of school this year. Never mind that it's pure sugar, but my son doesn't get artificial dyes. He's is not allergic to dyes, but he does have a behavioral reaction. His new teacher and I had a friendly chat about it. But, yeah I was FURIOUS to hear about this "healthy" cereal snack my son received. I may or may not have ranted for over 30 minutes that night at my poor husband. So yeah, I totally get your anger and frustration! |
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I think Pretty summed up my thoughts extremely well, but between some late nights and early mornings, well, it didn't come across as eloquently as Pretty. 
Mama bear syndrome I think! I'm glad to hear you resolved it anyways. 
