What the heck is wrong with my family?

[pretty]

ok good. I am being supportive. lol.
I'm glad you're feeling better about it all.
Its funny out of all the problems in our lives, the ones we bring to the board, are maybe not the most serious ones... just ones we feel we can share. I was just driving to work thinking about ALL THESE PROBLEMS I have lately, the more frustrated I get, the more problems I have, the more frustrated I get! Me and my hubby are having more and more 'little' problems as we get closer to my surgery date - I'm still going down to WA for that mid-October - anyhow the closer we get, we have to buy the plane tickets, figure it all out, where to stay, should we get a car, etc etc. and the more of all this crap we have to deal with the more frustrated and immature we act to each other.... I think we just would rather bitch moan and complain, than deal with the big scary issue which is that I have to have this surgery! And it's gonna be hard!. so we just keep bickering. whatever. Kind of want to live by myself lol. we'll get through it I guess, just takes so much energy.... whatever... anyhow, thinking of you wishing you the best. P

[lizzylou]

Not sure where this post goes.

But after some advice on here, I called my insurance and I'm pre-authorized for 20 visits with a therapist/counselor. With a $60 co-pay, I'm not sure I can afford all 20, but some is better than none right?

I'm going to think a little bit on it yet, but I think I'm going to go for it. It's scary. It's really taking an active approach on dealing with some issues head on that I've been avoiding.

[Karen]

Well, hey, I'm glad you took the first step! That is a high copay, but if you put it in context, $60 x however many visits you have might be worth it for a bit of calm and piece of mind when it comes to things that cause stress!

As far as your family, I saw a reality show the other day and there was a discussion that reminded me of my situation with my mom, and might apply to you as well. I'll leave out the back story, but basically, the advice was that perhaps we sometimes need to change our expectations of some of the people in our lives. We can keep up the same struggle to get them to understand us, or we can accept that they might not ever understand that and just cope with that instead.

(BTW-I scooched this over to the post where it was originally discussed, figured you could keep it as a running log of your journey through this process should you chose to proceed with it!. PM me if you have any ?s.)

[lizzylou]

HAHAH!!!! You were watching Teen Mom (I love that show). But I heard that and though the same thing!

and I apologize, I just posted it in the mental health area because I couldn't find where I had posted it last night! Although I am asking for some info on the other one I did this morning.

[Karen]

Ha ha ha, you're RIGHT!!!! But man, that really stuck out to me, really hit home and made me feel a bit more comforted!

And as for therapy, I found that in my first few sessions, she'd ask me some questions in an attempt to get to know me, like the basics about my family, what I did for a living, etc. and the rest that we talked about was up to me! She asked me about goals, too, like what I wanted to get out of therapy. Mine were to cope with my health (I felt so awful every day and was an absolute wreck about it at the time), deal with a difficult break-up with my ex-boyfriend, and get healthier. I remember in one of my first sessions, she told me that we'd work together so that when life gave me ups and downs, I wouldn't react so strongly to them. I remember crying and asking her 'but HOW?'. The thought of not reacting so strongly seemed completely impossible to me! But, she was right! Hope that answers your questions? Maybe someone else can chime in?

[JC]

The times that I have gone, the first visit takes your history. You may even fill out a questionaire with your medical/mental health background and possibly family history. Then they either go over that form with you or just sit and talk about your history. A lot of times when you are telling them about something they will ask you, "How does that make you feel?" A lot of times, stopping to recognize what you're feeling can bring clarity to your situation. They do a lot of different things to help you through things. They kinda guide your thoughts and talk things out. And don't worry, they are very professional. They don't react when you tell them things. Like I remember I was afraid they were gonna look at me and say things like, "OMG are you crazy?" or "why the heck did you say that?" or "That wasn't very smart for doing that."
They just listen and ask you questions about what you tell them. It'll make more sense when you go I guess. I'm glad you were able to get some info about your insurance! That is an expensive co-payment but if it brings you peace and clarity, then I think it's worth it!

[lizzylou]

Like I said, I don't think I will go to all 20 covered sessions. That's a lot of money every other week. But maybe once a month is still better than nothing.

Yeah, i think at this point I realize the truth about certain things/people in my life and I now need to figure out, like you Karen, how to not be so affected by these other people and their actions. Although I feel a bit lost on how to get to that point. Hopefully a trained professional can help me get there.

And realizing I need to lower my expectations from some people and actually doing it are two different things!

[JC]

my marriage counselor said to us, "feelings are never wrong. They are your feelings and you can not control them. But how you react to your feelings is what you are accountable for."


I love that woman. I wish she could move in with us. Lol!

[lizzylou]

I quite often wish I had a live-in ref when we argue. Because quite often during an argument, my fiance hears what he WANTS to hear to prove me wrong and then shuts downs and won't listen to what I'm actually saying. haha i think a 3rd party would be able to say "buddy....that's not even close to what she's saying" haha.

[JC]

HAHA that's what I call her! our ref!

[Karen]

Sept 19, 2010 14:03:13 GMT -5 lizzylou said:

And realizing I need to lower my expectations from some people and actually doing it are two different things!

Uh, yeah, I hear you!!!