Sick of being SICK!

[KSA]

Two weeks back to work and here is my schedule. Work go to bed, work 6 hours sleep the next entire day work and then go to bed. No energy for anything. And my wonerful suspected lupus decided to go ahead and throw a lesion on my FACE on friday. Its huge and looks like when its all done I will need a skin graph for it. I hate these sores I get them, get but on a antibiotic it clears and then I wait for a flare up to happen again. This is the first one on my face. Its horrible!
Not only do I get that friday but my ears are infected and my throat and glands feel sore too. I cant eat because the sore is so close to my mouth started on my chin but its now the size of a half dollar so its hard to eat and talk. Oh WOW this really is a rant. I am just sick of it all. Off to see the doc this week and find out what the heck is going on. I am wondering if working is too much for me. I can't ever seem to get better. I have been back for 2 weeks and I get sick. Last time I was back for 2 weeks and I end up in surgery. My body hates me.
Its almost spring and I hear life going on outside my bedroom window while I am in bed feeling like I am dying. I am not usually this negative but I think I am getting pushed to it. I wan't my LIFE back!

[Karen]

Oh, Keri, I just don't know what to say anymore. You've been through so much, I can completely understand why you feel how you feel. You're not in it alone, k?

I know going to see someone new is the last thing you have the energy for, but can you find a local acupuncturist/traditional Chinese medicine/healing energy/etc. practitioner that comes highly recommended? Hit it from every angle you can!

[hellsbells]

Please just be good to yourself Keri, take your time, don't overdo it. Good luck with the doc xx

[KSA]

I think its hitting me so hard because its on my face. My issues are usually not seen. It changes alot when you can see how sick you are. Thanks girls for the support:)

[hellsbells]

Always babe!

[Tara]

Hi Keri
Wow, Sending big hugs your way, you are right, we all suffer our illness unseen, What your going threw sounds awful.

Does stress make your lupus worse? Starting back to work is incredible stressfull, as well as the pressure you put on yourself wondering if you can do it, could be making things worse. Hang in there and stop beating yourself up.....Our self talk can even make us sick. Keep thinking possitive, and what you are accomplishing each day (now matter how small).

My sister stoped working because of depression, and that was the best thing she could have done. We finally got her "Back" when she stopped struggling to do things she just wasn't capable of.

Sending healing thoughts your way.

[desertflower]

I sort know how you feel. I feel tired all the time and sleep a lot and feel that I lack energy. I'm tired of abdominal pains and anxiety and want my life back too.

I feel that I'm disappointing my family.

I hope you get well.