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Post by hellsbells on Nov 5, 2009 15:08:58 GMT -5
This is a tad rude but it's making me giggle away so I thought I'd share it. Over here in the UK I use Bootsdiets.com to help lose weight, and there's a great forum on there for you to post, a bit like this. You can post diet problems, successes or any random problem/story you like and the women are great. Anyway, this one woman posted today about how she gave in and ate a load of chocolate. She meant to give it a title of 'Cudnt help it'....but missed the T out!! LMAO!! Needless to say she's had lots of posts back!!! Soooo funny. Fortunately no-one seems to have taken offence. Hope none of you do either!
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Post by Karen on Nov 5, 2009 20:19:20 GMT -5
Did you mean she left the D out? If so, yeah, I think that's totally hilarious! If not, I think I need an explanation.
One time, when I was in my first year as a teacher, I had a really bad head cold so I was all stuffed up and my words weren't coming out right. I meant to say the word 'function', but the n didn't quite come out. You can imagine the reaction I got from a room full of high schoolers. I'll never forget a girl saying "We knew you had it in you to swear, Miss Olsen!" Little did they know I swear like a sailor outside of the classroom...
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Post by hellsbells on Nov 6, 2009 3:08:35 GMT -5
Oooops, yes I did mean the D!!!!
I was teaching English in Germany when I was a student, and we did this exercise with the younger kids where we put different words up on th board and they had to guess which one I was - like kind, strict.....you different adjectives. One of them was 'impatient' and this little 10 yr old piped up with 'Are you impotent?'.........the teacher and I had a good bit chuckle then all the kids started laughing too, not knowing what they were laughing at. Ahhh, those were the days!!
Another German teaching story - myself and another teacher were observing at the back of a class, and the teacher taking the class was calling the register, and she called out 'Alice' - the teacher sitting with me at the back, quick as you like, turned round and said 'Alice? Alice? Who the f*ck is Alice?'..........well I was in stitches for the rest of the class!!!!!!
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Post by lassy74 on Nov 6, 2009 19:42:20 GMT -5
That's hilarious. She must have been pretty embarassed.
That makes me think of when I am working. I often type the word discount and when I get going I sometimes switch the c and the o around by mistake. I am always double checking my spelling. I don't know how well that would go over at work.
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Post by hellsbells on Nov 7, 2009 16:48:17 GMT -5
I have to be careful with account and country.
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Post by Karen on Nov 7, 2009 16:53:24 GMT -5
So I'm at my temp job yesterday and the VP of the department forwarded me an email and all his portion of the message said was 'cum c me'. He's a very nice guy, and I'm sure he didn't mean anything, but anytime I see the word spelled like that, I can't think but the porn-meaning of that word... And this guy is old and nice and polite, and I just had a hard time looking at it!
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Post by sunshine78 on Nov 7, 2009 20:52:53 GMT -5
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWw, lol!
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Post by hellsbells on Nov 8, 2009 7:10:39 GMT -5
Ah I know I hate that way of spelling it. Whether it's meant normally or porn-way it should still be 'come'!
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Post by sunshine78 on Nov 8, 2009 23:38:20 GMT -5
I know! When people spell it that way, I need a freaking shower.
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Post by hellsbells on Jun 10, 2011 16:25:14 GMT -5
Another post from this delightful forum:
A post about an 8th grade exam paper in 1895:
8th Grade Final Exam: Salina , KS - 1895
Grammar (Time, one hour) 1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters. 2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications. 3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph 4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie', 'play' and 'run'. 5. Define case; illustrate each case. 6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation. 7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time, 1 hour 15 minutes) 1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic. 2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold? 3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs, what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs. for tare? 4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary l ev y to carry on a school s ev en months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals? 5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton. 6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.. 7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. Long at $20 per metre? 8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent. 9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods? 10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes) 1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided 2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus 3. Relate the causes and results of the R ev olutionary War. 4. Show the territorial growth of the United States 5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas 6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion. 7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln , Penn, and Howe? 8. Name ev ents connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Orthography (Time, one hour) [Do we ev en know what this is??] 1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication.
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified? 3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals. 4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'. (HUH?) 5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule. 6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each. 7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis-mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup. 8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last. 9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays. 10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour) 1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend? 2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ? 3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean? 4. Describe the mountains of North America 5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco . 6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each. 8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude? 9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers. 10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.
Took 5 hours apparently. I know I'd get stuck...
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Post by Karen on Jun 10, 2011 17:25:26 GMT -5
8th grade?? I don't even know if I would have gotten a lot of those in 12th!
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Post by JC on Jun 10, 2011 20:03:20 GMT -5
Ow that hurt my brain
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Post by 1234 on Jun 11, 2011 9:04:15 GMT -5
I would have LOVED to teach to that test, instead of to those horrible multiple choice standardized tests. At least with those questions you can teach the kids to think, formulate an argument, and write it--all such important skills! the standardized tests are often so poorly written you can't even teach to them. ugh.
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Post by Karen on Jun 11, 2011 9:09:36 GMT -5
I hear you, RM, I hear you! The math questions weren't cut and dry - they had to do a lot of conversions!
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Post by 1234 on Jun 11, 2011 10:20:18 GMT -5
Thanks, Karen! I still foam at the mouth when I think of those tests.
What I hated was how demographically prejudiced those tests are. One of my most memorable moments is trying to explain to classroom of urban immigrants--several of whom had been through refugee camps on teh way to the Bronx--why it made sense for a dad to take his children camping for fun. The concept of camping in the woods for fun was so confusing for them they couldn't process the story and answer questions about it. Or some math word problem based on angles in a tennis game. My kids didn't play tennis! If they'd just asked a question about basketball once in a while, they'd have had a chance!
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