mem33
New Member
Posts: 36
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Post by mem33 on Oct 27, 2009 17:18:17 GMT -5
Okay--normally I do love my BF. But if ONLY he would listen to me when it matters! So a week ago we are talking about my scheduling my first lap for diagnosis. I told him that I was going to try to get as close to the week of Thanksgiving as possible. I work in academics and it's hard to miss work. He basically said 'do what you need to do'--the scheduler called me the next day while I was at work, and the best option she had was Tuesday Nov 24 (I was hoping for Friday 20th) . But 24th works well, I'll miss a few days of work and then campus is closed Thur/Fri. So I schedule it--tell him, and ask him to see if he can get off work at least Nov 24 (at first I asked him to get off work a few days to be at home, but then decided that just the day of surgery if he could be off). He works 5 blocks from home so I figure the day after if I need anything, I can call him and he can come home.
He just calls to ask what day was that surgery scheduled for, what days does he need to take off--I say just Tuesday Nov 24. He says "I really wish you would have talked to me before scheduling around that time because I already told folks at work I'd cover shifts if they were going to be gone for holidays" & that's our busiest time of holidays. *&%^&* are you kidding me? I hate having to say "we had that conversation, remember?". I hate his selective hearing...because inevitably he thinks I'm nagging when I remind him of things. Uhh.....Grrrr....I'm tempted to tell him to work and have my mom fly in for a few days. But that could lead to a crowded house for a few days.
Just had to vent...
M
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osb
Junior Member
Posts: 72
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Post by osb on Oct 27, 2009 17:33:55 GMT -5
Oohhh... gentle boot to head. Must be a guy thing; my partner did something like that when I had appts with infertility doc. Went deaf and scheduled a work shift - on one occasion, he actually volunteered to work that day! Vigorous boot to head. Mind you, he was around after surgeries (because that seemed like a more tangible task??).
Eventually I realized it was his extreme discomfort with the fact that he couldn't do anything to help me, that had him going awol (ok ok just showing up would've helped me lots, but not sure guys think of it that way!!). And I do love him when he's not being passive aggressive/secretly terrified; so I gave him a bye. ...Er, not surprisingly, we didn't actually accomplish all that much through the infertility clinic....
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Post by JC on Oct 27, 2009 17:45:41 GMT -5
osb! I was thinking about you recently! Haven't seen you in a while!
BTW I think MAN = SELECTIVE HEARING.
Then the whole "I told you this already" comment is usually a for sure way to piss them off. But it's like, HELLO!!!!!!! I DID tell you this already!
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Post by cherry on Oct 27, 2009 18:09:08 GMT -5
Selective memory. Mine expects me to know all he's said for the last 4.5 years, but for 15 months of the same shifts (always worked 11-9) he always asked what time I was working, or why hadn't I told him that I was doing such a thing that I had mentioned X times already! And I told you this gets the answered grumble 'yeah ok if you think you told me' Mem you may want the company and motherly comfort, and a crowded house is what makes a holiday so it may be a good idea  |
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mem33
New Member
Posts: 36
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Post by mem33 on Oct 27, 2009 20:11:39 GMT -5
Yeah--selective hearing and selective memory...
Mom for holidays = cleaning for mom (which is a different depth of cleaning than I normally do for regular upkeep..don't need the stress, although her comfort would be good, I think BF will come around). He told me just a bit ago that he should be able to get off that day, he just has to wait until he can ask a few folks to cover his shift (so hopefully will know by tomorrow).
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Post by sunshine78 on Oct 27, 2009 23:30:07 GMT -5
I'm tempted to tell him to work and have my mom fly in for a few days. But that could lead to a crowded house for a few days. Bet that'll teach him to open his friggin' earholes, next time, huh? Moms are fun. Have Mom come over. She will make you soup and cookies. And if you ask her nicely, I bet she'd be willing to punch him in the throat. But she'd have to make it look like an accident.  |
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mem33
New Member
Posts: 36
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Post by mem33 on Oct 27, 2009 23:30:43 GMT -5
And he just said he could probably go to pre-op with me the week before. I sent him an email with the date so he could plan it ;o) see I'm learning a new way of making sure he has the dates....
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Post by sunshine78 on Oct 27, 2009 23:38:06 GMT -5
Kick ass! Hopefully, he doesn't selectively open e-mails, lol.
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mem33
New Member
Posts: 36
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Post by mem33 on Oct 27, 2009 23:59:47 GMT -5
well he doesn't open emails often, but at least i can say i sent it and the proof will be there, right? he was actually really open to talking about things tonight...asking me if i had thought about my limits to what i'm willing to let my gyn do if endo is found and what not...he's generally fine listening to me talk about it, but it's nice to hear him asking me questions without me feeling like i'm whining about things...
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mem33
New Member
Posts: 36
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Post by mem33 on Oct 28, 2009 0:01:38 GMT -5
I'm tempted to tell him to work and have my mom fly in for a few days. But that could lead to a crowded house for a few days. Bet that'll teach him to open his friggin' earholes, next time, huh? Moms are fun. Have Mom come over. She will make you soup and cookies. And if you ask her nicely, I bet she'd be willing to punch him in the throat. But she'd have to make it look like an accident. LOL. |
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Post by JC on Oct 28, 2009 4:32:11 GMT -5
well he doesn't open emails often, but at least i can say i sent it and the proof will be there, right? he was actually really open to talking about things tonight...asking me if i had thought about my limits to what i'm willing to let my gyn do if endo is found and what not...he's generally fine listening to me talk about it, but it's nice to hear him asking me questions without me feeling like i'm whining about things... [/quote WOW that's great! That's some good news. What a good guy. Sometimes guys have that foot-in-mouth moment but the good ones always make up for it. |
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