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Post by semicolon on Feb 11, 2013 20:40:10 GMT -5
I have to say, the only negative experiences I have had have been with female doctors (including an obgyn and obgyn surgeon). I'll spare the details but my favorite two doctors on my "team" are my primary and my endo specialist who are both men. They are both compassionate and have helped me emmensly through this journey, never doubting my pain and always listening to my input on what the plan should be. Since I've had so many bowel issues and the endo, it is rare if I can make it six months without some sort of internal exam (vaginal, rectal, ultrasound, etc) do I am a little used to it by now. If there are things that make you nervous, bring those up with your doctor.
I know you are nervous, is there someone who can be with you at the appointment to make you feel more at ease? My husband has been with my at some of my appts (like meeting a new surgeon), but I always kick him out for any exam (gotta keep the magic alive, ha). You might feel more comfortable with the opposite, give it some thought.
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Post by chibineko717 on Feb 11, 2013 21:24:41 GMT -5
I have had 3 male gyns and 2 female, with Dr. M being lesbian. After I was fist diagnosed, I went to the surgeon who did my emergency surgery and later requested to see a female doctor. I switched to a female, who I had horrible experiences with and she was later fired for something ob related. She was the doctor who put me on Lupron and just insisted that I keep taking it past the suggested time (I was on it 7 months). She kept insisting that since I was on Lupron, the endo could not come back, but I could feel my cyst refilling after 3 months on Lupron. After the Lupron debacle, I realized that I had to take my health into my own hands to find a doctor who was actually able to deal with endo.
My fist female gyn was also very booked and took too large of a patient load. She did not offer quality care since many women prefer to see a female ob/gyn. She always rushed through appointments or cancelled when she had to do deliveries.
I went to a couple male doctors after that since the pain was so bad that I didn't care anymore, I just wanted something to get done. Although those male doctors did not work out, I have realized that I no longer care about the doctor's gender, but the quality of care they can offer me. Currently I go to Dr. M , who is a lesbian. My family was a bit taken aback by that, but they realized that I needed to have a good doctor.
I am still a virgin and was really apprehensive about seeing a male gyn, but you get used to it after a while. I think it was best for me to focus on what the doctor can do (excision surgery, etc.) versus who they are.
My mom or close family friend always comes to my appointments to give me support. For my first few exams, I had my mom hold my hand, but now my mom and friend wait outside during the exam part of the appointment. I'm used to being poked and prodded now, that I just grin and bear it since I want to take care of any problems that might come up.
I hope you can go to a doctor soon!
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Post by butterfly80 on Feb 11, 2013 21:47:32 GMT -5
Thanks for the replies and comfort and support I have heard people say that male gyne can be more open to listening lol. I just want a good Dr who will hear me at this point and not push meds that I do not want to take. I know my body fairly well and just want to do what is right for me and my comfort and not have a gyn who is going to be offended if i do not follow their recomendations of meds. I want options and treatment and relief. I mean that in a way that is not demanding but wanting care and relief. I am going to give the male a try...i am very hesitent though. I am fine when it comes to men and sex but this is different..so different. lol. This is so personal as i have to put everything out there and i just want to be respected. I guess I have only ever gone to my female family Dr for pap and pelvic other than a female gyne many years ago for a binine cyst removal long long long before this pain. It is jsut where my comfort level is at. I think male Dr and imagine big old hairy hands lol. At this point though I am going to go to where I can get in first and hope for the best..if a bad experience i will try again. But What if i hold out for July for female and that is a bad experience because they are of such demand..I can not risk that. And that speaks to the level of pain I am in to me. As I never thought i see a male gyne...but as you said as well i been poked and proded enough that it should not matter the gender. Really they are not looking or checking us out other than medically anyways right ? I just want some one who is going to be respectful to me and treat me as a person. I need a dr who understands one my pain and two where I am too on a comfort level and apprehension. Thanks for both shedding some light on your experience and helping me see mine in a way that needs to be seen which is deal with pain. I am eager to call my Dr tomorrow and get a male to be honest. sounds odd to say that but I am . I wish i could go tomorrow..This pain is just ruining me i feel and draining me of so much. I may have a friend go with me to appt but maybe not go in to exam..I am going to request the nurse stay though and set it up to me comfort level as best as possible because i have that right as a patient I have heard good things about a couple of male gyne's here so am hoping to see one of them as that would be a great help. Especially if i say so and so referred me , may make them a little nicer haha. BUt yeah we shall see.... Thanks
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Post by butterfly80 on Feb 12, 2013 9:38:43 GMT -5
Well so much for that....called my Dr and a wait l omg to see male too...she did try another gyn and they said they may get me in for June, so I may have an appt 3 Weeks earlier so I said sure I will take it. I may operae myself by June ffs!!!! I will go on cancellation list and hope for sooner but will see. Feel defeated I say there is no point in crying but yet here I am bawling...half from pain half from frustration. I did not sleep again last night. ..sorry to sound so down!
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Post by butterfly80 on Feb 12, 2013 13:33:33 GMT -5
So much for three Weeks earlier, I got in a week earlier with a new referral..take what I can get I guess!
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Post by omaklackey on Feb 12, 2013 15:28:25 GMT -5
I'm laughing as I read this post because I want to know what conversation Chibenko had that she knows Dr. M is a lesbian? I don't normally have that conversation with my Gyno. Anyways back on topic, Dr. M was the only female I have ever been to. I really don't know why there is such thing as a Male gynecologist and why females are so few and far between but I'm sure as many men as I have seen it will be fine. I don't like it either, but it should be okay.
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Post by butterfly80 on Feb 12, 2013 23:12:50 GMT -5
I know right, at work the other day me and the girls had the same conversation..Why are there more male gyne than female...Our conclusion Men love to look at vagina's lol.
I am fighting hard to see anyone at this point a new referal was sent off as was told i get in sooner and yet another female but i am only in a week earlier than my original July appt. Called a few male offices and told July too. So why they first told me sooner or my Dr let me think that i get in sooner had i not chose a female only I do not know. But at least this gyne works for hours than part time so i may get a lucky cancelation list, but i am not going to hold my breath. So frustrating though. YOu can imagine my excitement today thinking i may get in in two months possbly three at most only to find out that is not the case and i am a mere week earlier than my original appt.
I did not sleep last night, nor have i slept in many many weeks. But i guess that is life with endo... They need not think when i see the gyne on JUne 26th that i am going to be a trial and error case for more months before they check for actual endo.
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Post by chibineko717 on Feb 13, 2013 16:00:11 GMT -5
Are they sending you to regular OB/GYNs or a specialist? I think that they prioritize pregnant women for those type of doctors. Maybe you can ask your pcp to refer you to a gyn/urologist, general surgeon, or fertility clinic. I don't know how it works in Canada, but here there are ARNPs who are able to do regular paps and checkups. Since they are not full doctors, they are easier to see. If you can find someone like that, maybe things will go along faster.
Most regular OBs don't know anything much about endo and it is kind of pointless to go to them. Many put that they are interested in endo, but trick themselves to thinking that they can treat it with drugs and very basic surgery.
Another good way to find a doctor is to contact the local medical university. I think there is a university in St. John that has a medical school.
Is there anyway that you can call your insurance to see if there is another doctor? You have to be aggressive with you health. I stopped taking "no" or "wait" for an answer. If you keep pestering them, they are more likely to get something done faster. Also keep pestering you pcp. Mine worked really well with me to get me in asap to both the specialists I went to.
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Post by butterfly80 on Feb 13, 2013 20:19:47 GMT -5
Yes they are sending me to s regular ob/gyn, and you are right pregnant women need to go first. And every where I look there are pregnant women lol. my family Dr does pap and pelvic on me yearly but she said it be a gyne I go to for this now for further exploration...I am trying to come up with anything..it is difficult though it seems. What is an ARNP?? Feel really like there is nothing else I can do other than wait...which is really a crappy thing. I am going to call the Dr tomorrow I think because if I am waiting for 5 months to see gyn I want to make sure she does surgery or if not what happens, like what other wait times do I have to face. Thanks
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Emily
Full Member
Posts: 148
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Post by Emily on Feb 13, 2013 22:53:55 GMT -5
An ARNP is an Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner. They are not an MD, but have put in a lot more hours than an RN. They work under the direction of an MD and can write prescriptions, perform exams, and give reliable medical advice. I saw an ARNP for 6-7 years and she was a lot easier to get in to see than a regular ob/gyn doc (1 week vs 2-3 in the US). A very good avenue to pursue. Edited to add that if you get in to see an ARNP, they might be able to get you in to see someone who has surgical experience sooner, as it sounds like you are pretty miserable right now . Hang in there!
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Post by butterfly80 on Feb 14, 2013 12:23:37 GMT -5
I do not think we Have ARNP here, I could be wrong but never heard of it. Would your family Dr make the referral, our family Dr are gp,, general practitioner. Just wondering then if ARNP , is much different from that and would my Dr make that referral? I thinkhere we would just go to the ob//gyn. On an up note I did find out today that my gyn I am seeing does surgeries. And yeah I been not too good Thanks!
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Post by semicolon on Feb 14, 2013 21:48:44 GMT -5
So an NP is a step down from a doctor, since they haven't done full med school, but is a few steps up from a regular nurse. Many assist in a family med office, or even along with surgeons.
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