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Post by chloelouise on Apr 20, 2007 14:58:55 GMT -5
Just thought it would be interesting to see what the general feeling is towards female/male doctors. I
n my personal experience my female doctor has been the most understanding and more willing to try different treatments/pain killers. She also booked me a hospital appointment with a specialist the first time I went to see her. However I have heard form a few women that male doctors are better because they dont compare their periods to yours.
I know really it comes down to what kind of doctor they are and how they pracetise but was curious to see!!!
p.s I know, I have way too much time on my hands LOL
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Post by ouchy on Apr 20, 2007 15:49:28 GMT -5
I think this is a great thread! I think it is down to the individual doctor. It just happened that all of the female doctors/NP's I saw seemed to compare their periods to mine and ignored when I even brought up endometriosis by name--even when I told them I had family members with it. My doctor is a male, and he has no periods to compare mine to. I love him! And he wanted to do a lap after just hearing my history.
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Post by cherry on Apr 20, 2007 16:43:57 GMT -5
Luckily my latest experiences with female doctors have been that they are sympathetic, and I even had a doctor with endo at my GPs surgery who was kind and completely got me. I have to say that though I've had a few excellent male doctors, between my current locum (young twit) and my consultant who I refuse to see (old tw*t) and the gynae ER doctor who shoved the speculum in last year and made me cry, I have not had the best time with male doctors of late. Weirdly though, as much I hold grudges I don't go to one or the other expecting them to be a certain way, I just explain things to them, how I want to proceed and then see how they treat me. I've learnt hard lessons over the last year xx
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Post by erzulie on Apr 20, 2007 17:34:52 GMT -5
I've only seen one gynecologist, but she was female and very sympathetic. I think it depends more on the individual doctor too. My experience with doctors in general is that women tend to be more sympathetic to anything than men. I feel like male doctors more often assume i'm being a hysterical female and that my symptoms are not that real. But I have experienced both sympathy and derision from both male and female doctors, just the latter has happened more with men.
I think the attitude of the patient matters a lot too. A lot of women have told me exactly the opposite of what I just said--that they think female doctors think they're making stuff up while male doctors are sympathetic. I think if you have a negative attitude towards women or a bad relationship with your mother or an extraordinary relationship with your grandpa or whatever, you are more likely to expect sympathy from a man. If you have a great relationship with other women and/or a negative attitude towards men (or at least men in a position of power), then you are more likely to expect sympathy from a woman. In other words, sometimes we just see what we expect to see. I'm not saying that our experiences aren't real, just that if you have a strong attitude one way or the other then that's what you should stick with. If you think you will have a better experience with one or the other, you probably will, but that doesn't mean that gender really is better. It's about what you, personally, are more comfortable with.
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Post by ouchy on Apr 20, 2007 20:36:34 GMT -5
I think if you have a negative attitude towards women or a bad relationship with your mother or an extraordinary relationship with your grandpa or whatever, you are more likely to expect sympathy from a man. If you have a great relationship with other women and/or a negative attitude towards men (or at least men in a position of power), then you are more likely to expect sympathy from a woman. In other words, sometimes we just see what we expect to see. I'm not saying that our experiences aren't real, just that if you have a strong attitude one way or the other then that's what you should stick with. If you think you will have a better experience with one or the other, you probably will, but that doesn't mean that gender really is better. It's about what you, personally, are more comfortable with. I actually sought out several women professionals first about endo, thinking that they would be more sympathetic (and I was more comfortable with them). I actually requested them to be female (NOTHING to do w/ my mom. We all know how evil she is.) I dont' compare women to my mom at all, especially medical professionals. LOL. I don't consider my mom a woman. I consider her a troll . For my first pap after I had had sex, I requested a woman for that, since I was more comfortable with one seeing me down there (and that was even after I'd been shoved over several times discussing endo). I went in with a very positive attitude, bc I was 90% sure endo was the problem. It just happened that the ones I went to weren't very apt to listen to what I had. Could have been that the next woman I went to could have been a gem. It just didn't work out that way for me. But it had NOTHING to do with the fact that I didn't have a good relationship with my mom or that I had a GREAT relationship with my grandfather. I was actually referred to my current OBGYN (male) by one of the women who said she was sure I didn't have endo. I demanded a referral to a specialist. He happened to be the only one she could think of. THAT's how I wound up w/ a male. Had she referred me to another woman, I would have been fine with that, too. It wasn't until after I'd seen my current OBGYN that I started thinking that I liked the fact he could only compare my pain to that of his other endo patients...and not his own period.
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Post by erzulie on Apr 20, 2007 20:53:55 GMT -5
ouchy, I wasn't trying to imply anything about your mom, or about you at all! If I'd wanted to take you to task on the subject I would have sent you a private message! I just think sometimes our experiences are colored by our expectations/comfort level. Please note the use of the word SOMETIMES. I don't have issues with my dad or a negative attitude towards men, so that's not why I've had better experiences with female doctors. I was just throwing out possible reasons why some people have certain expectations when going in to see a new doctor. I didn't mean it was the case with you or with anyone in particular! It's just the way it SOMETIMES is.
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Post by ouchy on Apr 20, 2007 20:56:40 GMT -5
Sorry. I guess I just thought that bc we do talk so much and you know about my mom and grandpa. LOL. oops!
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Post by kb on Apr 20, 2007 23:39:39 GMT -5
I dunno if it really matters what sex the doc is. Ive heard bad things bout female gyno's, to be honest the idea of one sounds fabulous but there arent many around and they are not necessarily the best.
Im currently seeing one of the best, chosen for that reason, sex was not an issue.
Ive had a complete lack of sympathy from many docs, dont think sex matters, just personality.
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Post by cherry on Apr 21, 2007 4:04:24 GMT -5
I dont' compare women to my mom at all, especially medical professionals. I'm the same, seeing as my mum seemed to have some mild form of munchausens. She is the opposite of medical professionals and just came up with crack pot theories and made me and my sister paranoid about stuff, but I don't transfer this to women. I am nervous around older women but find generally they respond in rather a kind way. I am also nervous with men as I had no positive experiences with men as a child except my granddad who I was also a bit scared of cos he was typically caribbean, stern but a sweety with his grandchildren. I feel I am on a learning curve with people in general, but with doctors I just tell them what's up and proceed from there. I am open minded when I meet new doctors but unfortunately some of them don't come to your appointment with the same attitude, and there's the problem with me xx
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Post by scarlett on Apr 24, 2007 14:19:25 GMT -5
The dr who did my first lap was a women and when she came into my room after the lap and told me I had severe endo, etc and I started to cry (not hysterically, just a bit as I was trying to ask questions too) she said "well, this is what you expected is it not??" I was so angry afterwards. I now see that my symptoms were perfectly obvious to her so she expected it, but I didn't. I thought it was highly insensitive. I've since been back to her about IVF and she was better that time and more supportive. I think that might've been because my 2nd lap dr (see below) told her how devastated I was after the 2nd lap and she felt a bit sorry for me.
My dr for my 2nd lap was a man. The lap didn't go so well and he wasn't able to remove it all (partly down to lack of communciation from the first dr I believe) and I was devastated when he told me. I had (stupidly) assumed that it would all work out like he'd planned, I'd not even thought 'what if it doesn't go like that?' I cried almost hysterically, I couldn't help it. He was lovely and told me to ask as many questions as I wanted as that was very important. I think he even had a tear in his eye as he talked to me. He also came into the hospital specially to see me and another patient on a Saturday so we could be discharged in time for new year. He also gave me his mobile (cell) number and said to call if I had any questions during my recovery - how great is that!!!
So I've had better experiences with men, but I think it's really just luck.
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Post by chloelouise on Apr 24, 2007 16:53:47 GMT -5
Wow thats is so nice!! You're so lucky scarlett!! Right thats it Im moving to Belfast!!
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Post by Tiff on Apr 24, 2007 18:58:52 GMT -5
I prefer a male Dr. I have said before in other threads but I started out with a female Dr. She put me on just about every birth control pill she could think of and when nothing worked I started to become very frustrated and that is when she told me she thought it was IBS. I told her in tears she must think I am stupid if she thinks I am going to believe that my heavy periods, horrendous pain during sex and menses is from bowel movements. After I told her this she said well if you want my honest opinion I feel it is all in your head. I was livid! I immediately found another Dr. ( A male this time) and witin 3 months I was diagnosed. With the female I was seeing her for 2 years and still got no where. I way prefer Male Dr.
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Post by angela22 on May 9, 2007 17:03:53 GMT -5
i've only had one female gp (rest have been males) the female gp told me the pain was all in my head and sent me to a phycologist(sp)arh. i've had one gyne, she was a female and didnt seem very interested either, she said i have irritable bowel even though i have no bowel pains ect. (i'm yet to be diagnosed yet)
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Post by Nari on May 9, 2007 19:11:07 GMT -5
so far i have only had female docs dealing with my womanly pain issues. I dont know if I would mind or not if I had a male.
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Post by butterfly80 on Feb 11, 2013 19:56:57 GMT -5
HI, So I am not really sure where to put this nor did i know what to search for so though i start a new thread and poke it under general but if it needs to be moved that is ok...
Ok...so..as some of you may know from reading my post I am due to see a female Gynecologist in July, That is a very long wait as I am sure most of you can appreciate when living with constant pain on a daily basis that is sometime bearable due to being use to it and sometimes intense to a level that is unbearable. Mind you none of it is bearable it is just that sometimes when you have pain daily you learn to cope as have no other choice.
So my appt is July with the requested female gynecologist..not sure what it is like in areas where you live but female gynecologist here are few and far between which makes them very hard to see.
So here I am today after calling the women’s health centre to inquire if I was to see a male gyn would i get in sooner and was told i would most definitely get in a lot sooner than July. So then called my Dr but her receptionist is off today so going to call tomorrow morning and have a new referral sent off. They need a new referral sent off to say that I be open to seeing a male.
AM I nervous??? Heck yes, but i was nervous regardless just for the reasons I am going alone. But I thought the pain is to the point it is interfering with my mental health and other aspects of physical health. The pain is increasing and getting worse and I am fearful of what waiting for July would bring. I know in my heart that it would not be good. But seeing a male gyn is a little uncomfy But the pain is not worth the wait, the pain is not worth the extra comfort level, the pain is not worth the agony and tears. I need to bite the bullet and take a stand for me and my health.
Am I freaked out? YES!!! Will I be nervous and anxious?? There is a good chance of that yes!!!!!!!!! BUT my health will be looked after a lot sooner, I may get answers sooner at least I better, and I will be much stronger in the end. I guess regardless someone has to look down there and ask those questions so I will get past the fact it is a male and not a female Dr and hope for the best. Also I could hold off to see the female gyne in July only to end up with a male doing surgery so might as well stop the barriers I have been needing to be put in place now.
I write this here today as feeling I may need support to stick to my decision. I do not like to ask for support but here I may need it.
Can anyone here share any experience of seeing a male gyn? This is difficult to write..and share..But seems like I am able to do that a little here.
I will keep you posted with the new appt time let’s hope they are right in saying a lot sooner than July.
I just hope at this point for a gynecologist who is not going to be trying to just give me meds upon meds, or ignorant and one who is willing to hear me and listen to my pain I am in and help me .
Big Step or What??? freaked , nervous, anxious but in PAIN. and I know all those feeling swould come with going to a gyn about this anyways..but again it is really up there..but I got to go with what is faster at this point. Just Hope that I can do it and be ok
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