Post by ditka on Mar 27, 2006 17:55:13 GMT -5
Hi everyone! First excuse me for my English but I hope you will understand what I write.
My name is Ditka. I am 30 years old and live in Bulgaria. I had pain since my first period, when I was around 13 years old I think. At first everyone was saying it is normal but sometimes I had to miss from school during my first day. When I was 16 I started going from doctor to doctor and they were giving me all kinds of pills but nothing helped and they were all just giving up on me. I have been to more than 15 doctors till now. They were all just taking my money and destroying me with all kinds of medicine. They were saying my uterus was to small and it is also turned in the wrong direction. But time was going ..I was becoming worse. The doctors were saying I should have a baby /they still say that!/. But with the time I got worse and now I am in bed for at least 4 days with pain. Five years ago I went to Germany to work there as a babysitter and I decided to check myself with local doctor since the Medicine there is better. This is the first time I heard about endo. They told me I maid have it and I need to make a laparascopy and take anti-baby pills for hormonal treatment. I didn't had money to do laparascopy but when I got home I started taking the anti-baby pills /"Microgynon"/. I was taking them for 3 years and not only it wasn't helping me very much with the pain it almost destroyed me. I gain 20 kilos, got high blood pressure, got gallbladder stones, IBS,,,,, and the worst was the depression. After I was going from doctor to doctor to give me some pill for the pain because nothing was helping I went to psychiater for help in giving me a recipient for some morphine cause only it was helping a bit. This was a big mistake. They gave me some pills that we so bad for me that I went from it to real depression! It was the worst time in my life! It was more scary than the pain I had with endo...and you know what I am talking about. I had time during my period that the pain was so devastating I just wanted to jump out of the window and die because I can't take it any more. My mother and my girlfriend are close to me crying together with me while I scream like a hurt animal. During my period I am 4 days in bed. I can't even sit. I go just 2 to 3 times a day to the toilet and can't move more than that. If i am not lay ed in bed the pain gets worse. So if I need water or food or anything there have to be someone around me to take care of me.
...But the depression was even worse than that....So after the wrong medicine they gave me I almost died and had to be cleaned. After that and after going to so many doctors without any hope I went into real depression and had to fight with it myself almost without any pills for 6 months. It was the hardest time in my life! Now I am better but I am always afraid that It maid come back again because once you were there.....it never disappears from you.
Now I finlay excepted that I can't be healed from endo but I must live with it and hope that it won't get worse! It is hard because now I have new illnesses and I can hardly find a job because of the 4 days I spend in bed. This is the reason I can't afford to have a baby also as doctors say I should do because I can't even take care of myself!
I never did laparascopy because the medicine in my country is very bad and with a lot of corruption and I am afraid that I maid get even worse after that! You know what one woman doctor said to me here: "Well this is how it is! We, women are born to suffer! Some illnesses have no cure!" And she wasn't even good enough to understand that I have endo!
My name is Ditka. I am 30 years old and live in Bulgaria. I had pain since my first period, when I was around 13 years old I think. At first everyone was saying it is normal but sometimes I had to miss from school during my first day. When I was 16 I started going from doctor to doctor and they were giving me all kinds of pills but nothing helped and they were all just giving up on me. I have been to more than 15 doctors till now. They were all just taking my money and destroying me with all kinds of medicine. They were saying my uterus was to small and it is also turned in the wrong direction. But time was going ..I was becoming worse. The doctors were saying I should have a baby /they still say that!/. But with the time I got worse and now I am in bed for at least 4 days with pain. Five years ago I went to Germany to work there as a babysitter and I decided to check myself with local doctor since the Medicine there is better. This is the first time I heard about endo. They told me I maid have it and I need to make a laparascopy and take anti-baby pills for hormonal treatment. I didn't had money to do laparascopy but when I got home I started taking the anti-baby pills /"Microgynon"/. I was taking them for 3 years and not only it wasn't helping me very much with the pain it almost destroyed me. I gain 20 kilos, got high blood pressure, got gallbladder stones, IBS,,,,, and the worst was the depression. After I was going from doctor to doctor to give me some pill for the pain because nothing was helping I went to psychiater for help in giving me a recipient for some morphine cause only it was helping a bit. This was a big mistake. They gave me some pills that we so bad for me that I went from it to real depression! It was the worst time in my life! It was more scary than the pain I had with endo...and you know what I am talking about. I had time during my period that the pain was so devastating I just wanted to jump out of the window and die because I can't take it any more. My mother and my girlfriend are close to me crying together with me while I scream like a hurt animal. During my period I am 4 days in bed. I can't even sit. I go just 2 to 3 times a day to the toilet and can't move more than that. If i am not lay ed in bed the pain gets worse. So if I need water or food or anything there have to be someone around me to take care of me.
...But the depression was even worse than that....So after the wrong medicine they gave me I almost died and had to be cleaned. After that and after going to so many doctors without any hope I went into real depression and had to fight with it myself almost without any pills for 6 months. It was the hardest time in my life! Now I am better but I am always afraid that It maid come back again because once you were there.....it never disappears from you.
Now I finlay excepted that I can't be healed from endo but I must live with it and hope that it won't get worse! It is hard because now I have new illnesses and I can hardly find a job because of the 4 days I spend in bed. This is the reason I can't afford to have a baby also as doctors say I should do because I can't even take care of myself!
I never did laparascopy because the medicine in my country is very bad and with a lot of corruption and I am afraid that I maid get even worse after that! You know what one woman doctor said to me here: "Well this is how it is! We, women are born to suffer! Some illnesses have no cure!" And she wasn't even good enough to understand that I have endo!