Post by mel26 on Nov 13, 2007 6:34:10 GMT -5
How much can one person deal with before they crack? I know we all have problems and pain, but I am seriously DONE with all this sh*t.
After Rick was in his accident, I had a hard time staying strong, but I managed somehow. But now, my bicycle has been stolen, I had to put down the family dog, AND my cat has been missing for a month!
Plus, my PIG of a roomate keeps screwing me on the rent, and never helps me clean even though she knows how sick I've been! My one friend is so wrapped up in school we never talk and my other friend is so self involved she actually tries to "One Up Me" regarding my illness, like for example her idea of relating to my talk of nausea is "I don't have endometriosis but I do feel pukey sometimes, and I realize I can't drink liquor anymore, I just drink beer now and I don't feel like throwing up" This is like a slap in the face to me b/c I WISH I only felt like throwing up when drinking- which I can hardly tolerate anymore!!
I have survived alot of things, but I feel like my reserves are diminishing. Even as I write this, it feels like there's no point, nobody will read this and even if they do, who cares anyway?? What can anyone do for me a this point? I'm sick of people trying to calm me down and cheer me up, find the bright side THERE ISN'T ONE!!
Like when I try to express my fears of having intestinal endometriosis (b/c my symptoms point to it, waiting 4 colonoscopy, Dec 14) everyone brushes it off, like "Oh, that's so unlikely" and "Maybe if you see an herbalist, you won't need any surgery"
I even had one "friend" tell me "Be careful what you get afraid of cuz u could make it happen!!!" I'm the one who's online all night, researching symptoms, reading studies, finding information. I know how real the likelihood is... Some people are so f*kin unbelievable, as if they have any clue what they're talking about!
On top of the usual, the symptoms are getting worse, and short of going to the ER (really putting that one off), I can only wait till my colonoscopy/duodenoscopy next month. If nothing turns up, I may need another laparoscopy to investigate the endo. I realize it could be IBS, but it could also be bowel cancer!!
Am I not valid in my fears of colostomy bags, or a lifetime of diarhoea?!
It's like everyone is trying to stifle me, and take the opportunity to relate the hardships they've endured so it goes from being supportive conversaton to tales of woe. I feel like I've lost alot, and I miss my cat SOOO desperately, I just start bawling and sobbing so easily. And since he slept beside me in bed, I've woken up every morning reminded that he's gone, which reminds me my dog is gone forever, and the rest of the day is just sad... The one thing that would always cheer me up, without even trying to, is gone...
GOD. How do people deal with pain? How do I gain the strength to proceed? My faith is diminishing, my heart is breaking again, I can't take much more... I just want this hurt to stop
I always see women on here apologizing for posting and venting, and I'm not going to do that, because we need to let it out somehow. I'm not going to stifle myself when I know people will probably do it for me...
After Rick was in his accident, I had a hard time staying strong, but I managed somehow. But now, my bicycle has been stolen, I had to put down the family dog, AND my cat has been missing for a month!
Plus, my PIG of a roomate keeps screwing me on the rent, and never helps me clean even though she knows how sick I've been! My one friend is so wrapped up in school we never talk and my other friend is so self involved she actually tries to "One Up Me" regarding my illness, like for example her idea of relating to my talk of nausea is "I don't have endometriosis but I do feel pukey sometimes, and I realize I can't drink liquor anymore, I just drink beer now and I don't feel like throwing up" This is like a slap in the face to me b/c I WISH I only felt like throwing up when drinking- which I can hardly tolerate anymore!!
I have survived alot of things, but I feel like my reserves are diminishing. Even as I write this, it feels like there's no point, nobody will read this and even if they do, who cares anyway?? What can anyone do for me a this point? I'm sick of people trying to calm me down and cheer me up, find the bright side THERE ISN'T ONE!!
Like when I try to express my fears of having intestinal endometriosis (b/c my symptoms point to it, waiting 4 colonoscopy, Dec 14) everyone brushes it off, like "Oh, that's so unlikely" and "Maybe if you see an herbalist, you won't need any surgery"
I even had one "friend" tell me "Be careful what you get afraid of cuz u could make it happen!!!" I'm the one who's online all night, researching symptoms, reading studies, finding information. I know how real the likelihood is... Some people are so f*kin unbelievable, as if they have any clue what they're talking about!
On top of the usual, the symptoms are getting worse, and short of going to the ER (really putting that one off), I can only wait till my colonoscopy/duodenoscopy next month. If nothing turns up, I may need another laparoscopy to investigate the endo. I realize it could be IBS, but it could also be bowel cancer!!
Am I not valid in my fears of colostomy bags, or a lifetime of diarhoea?!
It's like everyone is trying to stifle me, and take the opportunity to relate the hardships they've endured so it goes from being supportive conversaton to tales of woe. I feel like I've lost alot, and I miss my cat SOOO desperately, I just start bawling and sobbing so easily. And since he slept beside me in bed, I've woken up every morning reminded that he's gone, which reminds me my dog is gone forever, and the rest of the day is just sad... The one thing that would always cheer me up, without even trying to, is gone...
GOD. How do people deal with pain? How do I gain the strength to proceed? My faith is diminishing, my heart is breaking again, I can't take much more... I just want this hurt to stop
I always see women on here apologizing for posting and venting, and I'm not going to do that, because we need to let it out somehow. I'm not going to stifle myself when I know people will probably do it for me...