|
Post by ouchy on Jan 6, 2008 2:07:59 GMT -5
Babies are NOT a fix to depression. If you are depressed because you can't have a baby, just think if you had all these factors! I know my situation isn't even the worst by far!
1) jacked up in the hospital w/ formula she didn't need and stupid a*s "finger feeding" resulting in crappy latch/suck
2) formula that constipated her really badly in hospital
3) dumb a*s me gave her an orthodontic pacifier that jacked with her latch
4) dumb a*s me again gave her a bottle, just more jacking with latch and suck
5) POOPIES from he*l! This kid can't poop for anything! I have to hold her legs up EVERY SINGLE TIME she has to poop.
6) She "comfort nurses" when she has to poop. She poops every time she eats. When she poops while eating, she busts off screaming in pain, and then I have to go hold her legs above her head. This has been since the first week!
7) Acid reflux. Milk comes out the nose. Burps from He*l!
8) I'm sure there is more! I am just too tired to type!
MORAL of all this is if you are depressed BEFORE you have a kid who could *possibly* have some of these issues, let alone ALLLLL rolled in to one....THINK TWICE! You'll likely fall off the deep end for sure! Ha! I hope this all clears up BEFORE I get my period back! UGGGGGGH!
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 6, 2008 2:09:20 GMT -5
Only good thing about this I can think of is we start potty training tomorrow. If I have to hold her legs up and have her squat 100% of the time she poops anyway, why not hold her over an "Elimination Communication" potty chair!
|
|
|
Post by cass on Jan 6, 2008 2:19:32 GMT -5
im so sorry you are experiencing all that!! i feel so sorry for her being in pain so small! what have they said about it in terms of clearing up and getting better? with the altching issue hows that going?
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Jan 6, 2008 9:24:04 GMT -5
I absolutely agree with the title ouchy, I know you are pretty robust but still the pain she is going through must upset you sooo much! My little sis came back from visiting my big sis and the new baby yesterday, it was messy and pretty devastating My older sister has always been very much a sunny-side-up person, but minor problems with her son have her spinning out of control. This little person who she loves dearly sometimes doesn't respond to her, won't settle into a pattern, is unwell and therefore often unhappy, and these comparatively little things have pushed her further into post-natal depression. She feels all the control has gone, and that she is completely alone. As I said, she was such a happy, optimistic person before, this is a huge and very upsetting change to see in her. I spoke to her on the phone and wanted to cry, it hurts her so much that she doesn't feel 'normal' around her son, and she's like a zombie. I have always firmly believed that to go into raising a child while suffering depression, is like trying to drive with your hands tied behind your back. It's hard enough to function, to even get up when you're depressed... what happens when you then have a helpless child screaming and depending on you for every little thing?
|
|
|
Post by erzulie on Jan 6, 2008 13:20:04 GMT -5
You make a good point ouchy! Some people really think babies will be a cure for depression because they think their babies will love them more than anyone ever has. But babies are the most selfish people on Earth--they're supposed to be at that age--and they really can't love you as much as you love them. If you want a baby because of what you think the baby is going to do for you, you're too selfish to be a good mom anyway, in my opinion! I've actually heard that people who struggle with infertility for a long time before getting pregnant are more likely to experience post-partum depression because when you want something you can't have for a long time, you start to romanticize that thing, then when you get it it usually doesn't live up to your expectations. I've heard some people criticise women who are pregnant or having babies for complaining about the negative aspects because they ought to just feel lucky. However, I know from friends and family that pregnancy can be very unpleasant, and taking care of a baby is hard work! It's not all fun and games! It's really rewarding, but you have to work hard for that reward, and you have to be made of tough stuff to do it. I think moms really deserve our admiration, not our criticism.
By the way, ouchy, good luck with the potty training! My sister has been doing the same thing with her baby--I guess it's all the rage these days. I hope she gets over all these gastrointestinal problems soon too! Poor little thing!
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 6, 2008 14:57:46 GMT -5
Thanks, guys. Yah. The days just kind of meld together. I look forward to the weekends when my husband is home to help. My Mom is even coming out to help! That means I REALLY need help! LOL! I'm calling a lactation consultant tomorrow who has big boobs, too. Maybe she can help me figure out a couple latches. I swear I'm not doing this again without a reduction! I can't even position my boob right to get the nipple to go in the right place!
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 6, 2008 18:28:37 GMT -5
Well, I'lllll be a monkey's uncle! I can get her to latch nicely and feed in the cross-cradle hold. Unfortunately, it's not the most comfortable position for me, but at least I can get her to eat!
|
|
|
Post by erzulie on Jan 7, 2008 17:27:29 GMT -5
Well, it'a good you found a new way to do it! Don't you wonder how people with multiple births do it? I remember my sister talked about how it would be cool to have twins, before she ever had a kid. When she had her first baby I was shocked by how much work it was (he had health issues too, but different ones). I thought, wonder if she still wants twins next time? Sure enough, she now says she'd NEVER want twins. I know people who have them survive somehow and usually enjoy the experience (at least once they're older), but I can't imagine how they do it. And them some people have up to seven! That's why I would never take fertility drugs! I'm not sure if I could ever handle even one baby, and I'm not having one unless I decide I'm sure! I really think anyone who wants a baby but hasn't spent much time with one recently should definitely volunteer to help someone take care of their baby. If you have a realistic idea of how hard it's going to be and you still want one, then that's great! You'll probably do a great job! But oh how I feel sorry for those people who think babies are cute giggling bundles of joy all the time. Okay, they are always cute, but there's so much more to them than that! I admire you for doing it!
|
|
|
Post by pickles on Jan 23, 2008 5:16:35 GMT -5
Side note on post-partum depression. My aunt who is my age, had her son and afterwards she wanted nothing to do with him. Wouldn't hold him, feed him, anything. Her mom would come by and take care of her and the baby during the day, and husband did it at night for the first few days. They had to trick her to get her to the hospital again for meds. After that she was fine and back to normal after 24 hours on the meds. Post-partum depression is likely if you already have depression. I have had quite a few family members with post-partum after already having depression.
|
|
|
Post by minnie on Jan 24, 2008 11:24:44 GMT -5
Further to the note on Post natal depression
I have just bought a fab food book - healing foods or something. It talks about post natal depression. There is evdience that the mothers levels of zinc are rapidly depleted by the feeding baby and this can contribute to the development of the depression. A study has shown that women who supplement their diet with foods high in zinc are less likely to develop it. Just a thought. I'll have another read tonight and find out the more scientific blurb but I thought it may be useful xx
|
|
|
Post by baby bonnet on Jan 24, 2008 17:54:58 GMT -5
You are so right Ouchy, and if there is someone who doesn't believe it then just come over and look at my house..........., can't find the time to clean when you are away for 10 hours a day working and have a baby who won't take naps and wants constant attention........even when she's playing with her toys she wants you right there next to her.......as soon as you get up to try and get some house work done she starts screaming and pulling on your pant leg to pick her up........
Did someone ask can't the father watch her or help with house work......... Yeah Right, that's a joke. He even knocks on the bathroom door while I'm trying to poop with pain just because the baby suddenly gets fussy, then the need to go goes away and you end up all backed up.
I end up having to call my mom to help me out with the baby while I get some house work done and then DH gets all upset because he says I'm too old to be depending on my parents......but what does he expect me to do if I can't depend on him? I haven't even been able to get him to install the fire alarm upstairs and we purchased it before the baby was born and she's 9 months going on 10 already.
OK this thread wasn't about husbands was it?
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 24, 2008 22:01:44 GMT -5
LOL! Rant away! Women need to hear the trials and tribulations that are probably super fun and great when you have your period and have to deal with endo!
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 24, 2008 22:02:18 GMT -5
Oh. And my parents live 1/2 the country away, and my husband's parents are on an entirely different continent!
|
|