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Post by nikipeter on Nov 19, 2007 23:31:48 GMT -5
Hi my name is niki i am 18(pretty much 19) years old and i founf out i had endo when i was 17! My doctor asked me if i was ready to have kids and i said no!! She also told me that i have sighns that i will have very severe and aggressive endo in the future i have had one lapo.. and she said that she could not see anything and that i looked pretty good but also that because i was young that it probably had not surfaced yet. I have been dating my bf for 3 years now and we know that we want to be together forever and we are getting married in 2010. My problem is that the thing that i want most in the worold is to have children with the person i love. I wanted really badly to get married and do things and then have kids but my doctor told me i should have them as soon as i can. I am now getting scared that after we get married that i will not be able to have children so i am now wondering if i should have another lapo... to see if i have adhesives or whatever else i was just wondering if anyone else has experience with haveing children while haveing endo and if i should be worried and get checked and or have children soon so that i know that i can??? Please help me out!!!
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Post by minnie on Nov 20, 2007 12:22:35 GMT -5
Hello
This is a really tough one for any of us to give advice on. One thing that strikes me here is that say your Doc could not see anything during the lap and you looked pretty good. How is she able to predict that you will have severe and aggressive endo? I am confused.
You should have babies when you are ready and not before. Despite having endo, I feel very strongly that the welfare of the baby is the most important thing and if you don't feel ready then you are not ready and it would not be fair on a child to bring it into the world before the mum and dad are ready. I can understand your anxiety, it is shared by many here but alot of women with endo can still get pregnant without problems and even if you do have problems, there is a ton of stuff you can do to maximise your chances beofre even looking at IUI's or IVF. Have a read through some of the infertility threads. All I can say to you is relax about it, get all the facts and info from your doc, then make a decision that is right for all parties concerned - even future ones.
Hope that helps xx
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Post by nikipeter on Dec 21, 2007 12:12:39 GMT -5
well when i spoke to her after the lap she said that because i was so young it was possible that my endo had not surfaced yet because i have all the symptoms and i have been checked for other things that it could be im not a doctor i dont know thats what i was told!!! and as for the babies it is the one thing i want most in the world i know your prob looking at that im 19 and im not married and all that stuff but im not like other people my age i have grown up with children all my life some people have hockey or cars as hobbies mine is children i run a daycare i have my ece and all that! i love my boyfriend to death we have spoken about this for a long time if it hgappened that this would be our only chance then we would do and that child would have thebest life i could possibley give him i have wanted a child for a long time and i have waited because i wanted to get married first! if i waited and found out that i would have been able to have children if i did it when i was younger i would never forgive myself i know people personally that have endo and one of them has to live wothout children beause she waited until she was 23 to try!! 23!!!!!!!! and if she had of had kids when she was young she would have them!!! thats not something i am willing to miss out on!
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Post by pickles on Jan 26, 2008 5:40:38 GMT -5
Hi Niki, I hope this is a little ray of hope for you. I was diagnosed when I was 16 with endo. I have had 6 laps since then. I am now 29. At one point I was told that I may not be able to have kids, my endo was so bad. My last lap was in July of 07. My dr said things looked way better than before. than the endo has gone down in stages and that it wasn't as bad as they predicted with previous surgeries. My sisters both have endo, one only has 1 ovary and she got pregnant by accident with it. My other sister has had 2 beautiful kids successfully with endo. It is VERY possible. You need to remember that everyone's bodies are different. You could live with endo for years and not have any problems or not have it progress hardly at all. there are all kinds of factors that contribute to it. Children are a great goal, but keep in mind that God works in mysterious ways. He never gives you more than you can't handle. My doc is one of the best in this field dealing with endo. He's told me time and time again that it won't matter much if I wait 6 months to a year before I do surgery or try to have babies etc. I've had docs tell me before that I should have kids right away too. part of me thinks that they say that to get it out there incase something were to happen and I couldn't get pregnant later on... oh well I told you to have kids right away and you didn't listen kind of a thing. Part of me thinks some of them are on the whole, once you have kids, have a hysterectomy and then you'll be "cured" which we all know isn't true bandwagon. my current doc told me to have kids when I am ready. After this last lap he wanted to put me on Lupron until I have babies, which could be years, just to stop everything. They really like Lupron. I told him that I wasn't going to consider it and what are my other options or what will be the consequences of not going on it? He said nothing really its just a way to try to stop time so to speak. But that it is my choice. If your doc can't find actual endo at this point, I wouldn't be too concerned yet. you are still pretty young, and have plenty of time to get married have a few years to yourself and then try to have kids. Don't try to rush things because of a "what if" feeling. I've done that before, and now I am with someone who is more than I could've ever imagined finding. He really is the real prince charming. And because of him, I now know that if we have kids one day, that will be the icing on the cake- maybe. But if we don't, we'll still have a WONDERFUL life together. There are always other options too. Read some of the threads in some of the other boards about before having children pros and cons, and the infants and toddlers page. It might put things into perspective a little more. Know matter how great you think it is going to be to have a family and have everything you've ever wanted. It isn't always rosy with blowout diapers and puking kids and all that goes with it on bad days. Especially when dealing with this disease as well. I guess what my moral of the story is, is... Don't try to rush things and grow up too fast. At 29, sometimes I wish I had time to go back and live things over again... and I'm only 29! 10 years isn't that big of a difference between us. Chin up, I think you've got plenty of time ahead of you before you have to worry. Just keep track of your symptoms and make sure you and a good endo doc are on the same page. It will all be ok. All in all I agree with Minnie. It is more important to bring a child into the right home and give them a quality life, than it is to rush into things because you are selfish and want a baby, because you just want one and are scared. You're young and it sounds like you may not even have any endo yet. I'd get a 2nd opinion and see what comes of that. If you were 37, my advice would be different. But you're only 19. Chin up and Good luck with it all!
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