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Post by momfrommo on Feb 22, 2008 16:36:34 GMT -5
What do you do when you are married to man who says "OH I am not ready for the hysto." But you are the one who lives in the pain....you are the one who deals with the crap while he is on the road driving his truck. Not around to see me in the pain, and try and take care of our son (who is 4). I am saying that I could scream. I know that my endo has gotten worse since I had my son and to be honest I would love to have another baby - but to be real I know that I DO NOT want to go thru the emotional and physical and FINANCIAL pain of that one again! So does your husband understand?
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Post by ouchy on Feb 22, 2008 16:47:34 GMT -5
Could you try another lap? Especially if you even *think* you may want another baby, before getting the engine removed, having another lap might help you save some time...and your organs?
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Post by puddleduck on Feb 23, 2008 9:12:47 GMT -5
Hello, I'm sorry your husband sounds so baby-focused rather than considering your needs and feelings. I'm single so can't comment. I just hope and wish for you that you can regain some quality of life to spend with the son and husband you have...and that your husband is considerate enough to lift heavy items for you...Perhaps you need to make the point that if he really cares about you and the prospect of having another baby with you, then he should be making sure you never have to lift any heavy objects around the house or garden, and thinking of ways to help you cope with the most difficult days, NOT telling you that he doesn't want you to have a hysterectomy because HE wants another child. You have my full sympathy. The issue regarding the pain is that not all the pain may be due to endometriosis. Even if it were, hysterectomy is not a guaranteed cure. It's successful in 40% of operations... It may be possible that you have other things going on as well as endo, such as interstitial cystitis and or adhesions and or pelvic congestion just to name a few. Skilled excision surgery and possibly other investigations during the laparoscopic surgery (i.e cystoscopy) might be the way to approach this first. All the best with your decision.
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Post by momfrommo on Feb 23, 2008 12:43:40 GMT -5
PiddleDuck - OK first did not know that a hysto was not a cure - was told that it would be taken care of if I got one. So might have to tough things out and when the money comes along try the lapro again!
As far as him doing heavy lifting - ROTFLMAO!!!!!! I am married to a trucker - who is NEVER home and when he is home all he does is play poker online. PLUS I am the kind of women who does not sit. (Part of my reason why I do not deal well with my ENDO taking me down) I like doing the manual labor so that does not bother me I am a very physical person on that matters.
Thanks for the support ladies I will let u know what happens!
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Post by staceys on Feb 23, 2008 21:02:27 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear that you and your hubby are in disagreement. I also thought that a hysto would solve the problem. When I was first diagnosed, my OBGYN said if I didn't have kids he would have just taken it out. Boy am I glad he referred me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist who said no way, not even if you have kids. It is my opinion, and my docs also, that this will be last case scenario for me, and even then I would have to be really bad off to accept it. I'm 32 and I don't want to live on HRT for that many years. Also, I have learned through research and this board that it is not a cure.
I agree with Ouchy 100%; I would request a lap if you are in that much pain. What treatments have you tried? There are many who found diet, exercise, and supplements helpful in controlling the pain. Others also swear by accupuncture.
Good luck with your decision!
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Post by momfrommo on Feb 25, 2008 12:51:52 GMT -5
Staceys - treatment - well I started with the lap then the shots and 6 months of menapause. I just found out about the diet and other things when I joined here. I am started to feel like my DR has not done much of informing me of things after learning what I have learned here! So for now, I am just taking it day by day and seeing what happens! Thanks for the comments - i saw some place where some one says a hysto might not take care of the problem so that made me think hard on that one.
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Post by staceys on Feb 25, 2008 18:14:44 GMT -5
I learned of the diet and supplements here as well MomfromMo. I pretty much had the same course of treatments as you did, but I was put on a progestin only pill after the Lupron. The endo came back in three months after starting the POP and my second lap was in January. Speaking of docs, I just saw mine today for a follow-up. He still disagrees with the diet and supplements, but he's keeping me on the same pill. I don't care, I'm doing the diet with supplements, what can it hurt? It's only making me eat more healthy!
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Post by cass on Feb 26, 2008 20:49:16 GMT -5
at the ned of the day its your decision your body and its his role to be supportive. what would he say if you told him to quit his job because you would like him around more?
this makes me mad that he thinks he can tell you not to have one rather than act supportive and weigh up the options with you. it should be about your quality of life and looking after yourself.
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Post by momfrommo on Feb 27, 2008 9:43:19 GMT -5
at the ned of the day its your decision your body and its his role to be supportive. what would he say if you told him to quit his job because you would like him around more? this makes me mad that he thinks he can tell you not to have one rather than act supportive and weigh up the options with you. it should be about your quality of life and looking after yourself. Thank you for this - I needed to hear this today!!!!!
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Post by kb on Feb 28, 2008 21:41:28 GMT -5
Totally agree with Cass, this is totally your decision, its your body, your life.
Just as an extra thought too, some small changes how you do things can lighten the load a little, sometimes. Like sitting down to chop up veges on a stool or sitting to wash dishes. Sitting to iron, there are alot of jobs that can be done sitting that might lessen the load a little. I have done all these things to keep trying to contribute through severe pain and fatigue.
Do you have any family close by? Having someone help with groceries so your not carrying in the bags can also help.
And i second (or 3rd or 5th, whatever it is) the thing on natural therapies, diet changes have helped me alot.
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mbaile01
New Member
You only live once so have a Timmys everyday !!
Posts: 6
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Post by mbaile01 on Mar 10, 2008 20:11:28 GMT -5
that sounds very selfish of him. I think that it is your final decison. I know your pain. I think do what is the best for you. If hes not around because he is working anyway, then why does he have a problem. Good luck sweety
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Post by Tiff on Mar 11, 2008 15:04:01 GMT -5
In the end I do agree with the others that it is your choice and your body to what you please. But the support of a husband would make it so much easier top go through.
If there is a chance you still want kids I would not jump to deicding on a hysterectomy, there is no turing back after that. I would really way your options and make sure there is nothing else that can be done.
Staceys- you were reffered to a reproductive endocrinologist? Has the specialist been helpful and do you reccomend trying to see one?
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Post by staceys on Mar 11, 2008 20:11:51 GMT -5
Hi Tiff,
Yes I was referred to a RE and very happy I was. He is very well versed in endo and the treatments and performs excision surgery. I guess like any docs, there are good ones and bad ones. I would recommend it if your OBGYN isn't helping you and/or you are having problems TTC or if you want to try in the near future. My OBGYN seemingly wanted to open me up and gut me on the first go around... no thanks :-)
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kara
New Member
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Post by kara on Jul 9, 2008 21:55:41 GMT -5
Hello, first I would like to say that I am sorry your husband doesnt understand. Secondly, I have first hand experience with the hysto not working. I have ANOTHER lap in 2 weeks. I am on the go a lot, no sitting for me and I am not ok with the pain getting me down all the time. The diet change an exercise I do has helped...cut out as much refined sugar as you can, study what other names this type of sugar goes by and avoid them, your body will thank you! Less fatigue was the big one for me and I dont crave much of it anymore. I am now seeing a specialist who will hopefully help, but 6 weeks after the hysto the endo pain started coming back, now I have no pain free days, hours or minutes, so I advise you to try something else first.
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