aj
New Member
Posts: 6
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Post by aj on Apr 2, 2006 2:33:48 GMT -5
Hi, I'm AJ, have a few issues with my endo for anyone with time to respond. First - I am SOOOO greatful for this site Second - read the endo diet, and I gotta say as a lacto - ovo vegetarian, I love my soy. I'm gonna miss that. Third - I have the craziest emotional roller coaster going on right now. Back story: Lap in Jan, found out my fertility chances are less than 15%...I'm only 24, that hurt! My fiancé is uber-understanding, but he already has 3 kids, he doesn't get the difference between " I love my future step-kids to death" BUT, "it's not the same as having my own. I want to be someone's mom". I'm an attorney, but I don't know how to explain that a fun career is no substitute for having a baby. It's become a repetitive conversation because he just doesn't get it, and I've run out of ways to explain it. Any and all advise would be super appreciated.
Thanks, and my best to everyone out there going through this!
AJ
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Post by sammi79 on Apr 2, 2006 3:15:29 GMT -5
Hey AJ,
I can relate! and I am really sorry you have recieved that news...
I am 26 and altho the doc's have not put a figure on the liklihood of pregnancy, My Gp and my gyno never fail to mention that the chances diminish with every month that passes. I only found out that I have endo last year, and since then life has been this emotional whirlwind of treatment and weighing up often very limited options.
Meanwhile, my career seems to be going great guns... And i know that I could probably achieve more success in my career if I did not have children... but there is a resounding sadness that follows that thought! My fiance is fantastic, but I just feel like he doesn't quite get the fact that this is something that weighs on my mind every single day! I find myself comforted by the fact that my man loves me, so I just try and focus on that!
If its any help at all, I ended up seeing a counsellor for a bunch of sessions which was the only way I could really get to any kind of peace within myself, let alone communicatie with my man. I think in the future, when the time is right, we will go to counselling together.
I know the feeling of wanting to be someone's mum... I figure, while ever there is chance, I am not going to give up! doesn't stop it hurting tho.
take care and all the best!
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aj
New Member
Posts: 6
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Post by aj on Apr 2, 2006 3:35:21 GMT -5
thanks Sammi, it's so nice to not feel alone in all this...this board is the first time I haven't had that " no one understands what I'm going through" feeling. All my best and thans again. AJ
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Post by sammi79 on Apr 2, 2006 3:44:54 GMT -5
I have found great support in these forums too! I've not found a problem that someone on these forums hasnt had, or can relate to... I hope things work out for you!
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Post by positivity on Apr 3, 2006 16:31:14 GMT -5
I worry all the time about not being able to have children. From what I have read, most women can have children with endometriosis. So that is what I try to focus on. I would quit reading things about statistics and how each month your chances decrease because you don't want to focus on that. I think a lot to do with it is your mindset so you don't want to convince yourself that motherhood is not a possibility. I'm 25 and I worry about that a lot because I'm on Lupron which helps wonderfully for my digestive problems due to endo. I was having the most painful stomach pains and bowel movements before I got on Lupron. This is my 3rd dose. After my first and second dose all my symptoms came back within a few months so I'm sooo scared to get off of it b/c I dont' want to get sick again. I wouldn't be able to even hold down a job unless of course I could just stop eating! But I know I have to get of it sometime in order to conceive. Its a scarey dilemma! But I just wanted you to know that I completely understand your fear but try your best to keep up a positive attitude! I've heard about many women who were told that they couldn't conceive and then out popped a child!
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meka
Full Member
Posts: 164
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Post by meka on Apr 3, 2006 20:22:15 GMT -5
When my doctor saw, through ultrasound, that my ovaries have cysts and my tubes are clogged (age 27) she said it would be "very difficult to have children." Ouch. I was one of those girls who wanted to have at least four kids, starting two years after I graduated from college. Hah! Life sometimes tells you otherwise. I'm 28, no husband, no kids. I still have hope. My exboyfriend had a son, and when I told him what the doctor said, he said the same thing as your fiance. He was even offended that I told him it would never be exactly the same, stepchild vs. flesh and blood. I hope that your boyfriend comes around, just for the sake of emotional support, if nothing else. Fun career? I'm a kindergarten teacher. That's super fun, and every year I get twenty new kids who adore me. It's still no replacement. You are not alone. Here's my ray of hope: My older sister (now 32) has had endo for years. I don't know when she was diagnosed. But I remember growing up she had to go to the hospital once or twice cause her cramps got so bad. (Back then I thought she was being dramatic.) We live and we learn. She had a child when she was 22, and another when she was 30. THERE IS HOPE. Concentrate on the happy stats, not the dreary ones.
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Post by chrisseh5 on Apr 5, 2006 7:50:42 GMT -5
I really feel for everyone who wants to be a mother and can not because of this condition. I was diagnosed with having endo last fall. I have 5 kids so I am blessed in that way. My endo is also in my abodminal muscle so maybe that was the difference. I just want to say dont give up hope ever! I know adopting a child wont be the same but other then the pregnancy and child birth ( which for me was not fun at all) you can have the same realationship and enjoy motherhood. I wish everyone the best and hope it all works out!
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