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Post by cherry on Apr 13, 2011 6:48:21 GMT -5
I thought this could be a good sort of introduction post for our new section So if you'd like to, list the different areas of your life and how endo has/continues to affect it. Work: Studies: Finances: Family: Close Family: Future Plans: Friendships: Creating Relationships: Intimacy: Mental Health: Holidays/Vacations/Free Time: You don't have to answer all and can add in categories if you'd like.
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trae
New Member
Posts: 41
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Post by trae on Apr 13, 2011 7:32:37 GMT -5
This is a great idea, Cherry. Here is my list: Work:I miss at least 1 or 2 days a month (and I'm only part time) Studies: I have put off school until we figure out what my treatment plan is going to be. I don't want to get started and not be able to finish. Finances: The doctor bills are through the roof, but thankfully I have great insurance and an even better husband! Family: Endo has actually brought me closer to my family (if that makes sense). They have all been very supportive since I was diagnosed. Not that they weren't before, but just a little extra to get me through this tough time. Close family: Endo has really affected my husband, step-son and I. There are times when we can't go do things because I am in too much pain or bleeding to heavily to leave the house. We love to camp and there were numerous trips last summer that we had to cancel because of my pain and bleeding. Future plans: Hasn't really affected that for me. Friendships: On the negative side, I don't see my friends as much as I would like. Again with the not being able to leave the house. On the positive side, I got to meet all of you Creating relationships: again, hard to meet new people when you are stuck at home. Intimacy: HA! What is that? No, seriously, it is painful for me, so it is rare, but my husband is so supportive and hopefully someday when I feel better, we can get back to it!!! Mental Health: At first, I thought I was going crazy and that maybe the pain was in my head. Now that I have a diagnosis though that part is gone. I still don't understand why doctors wait so long to diagnose someone because knowing what is wrong is half the battle. If you know what is wrong, you know how to make it better. Holidays/vacations/free time: Same as before, we have to plan everything around when I am symptomatic. Holidays, you can't really do that, so I either suffer through, or we skip it. Wow, endo does really affect almost every aspect of your life. Never really realized it until it was all typed out.
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Post by Karen on Apr 13, 2011 18:49:17 GMT -5
Work: At my previous job when my symptoms were at their worst, they were in the process of downsizing. When I was laid off others in my department were laid off, too, so I know I wasn't singled out, but I still wonder if I was one of the ones picked because of it... I did my best to power through the pain and show up at work despite but had a sour look on my face often! At my new company, it's the exhaustion more than anything that gives me a hard time.
Studies: N/A
Finances: I'm strapped every single month. Although I have fairly 'good' insurance, I still spend hundreds every month on coinsurance and tests/presciptions that insurance WON'T cover. It SUCKS and I'm on a very tight budget as a result and have had to rely on my dad a bit to get by.
Family: My sister and I got a lot closer! She was having problems getting preggers right around the time I was learning exactly how my lady bits worked in fine detail so we were able to bounce ideas off each other! Although we don't talk often, she typically asks how I'm feeling. My mom 'forgets' I have medical issues and never understood the full extent of what's going on so we talk even less now. My dad has been very supportive of me and encouraged me to go to a non-traditional doctor to get better care and that's made all the difference. Without his encouragement and financial support I never would have been able to see my new doc!
Future Plans: I would have liked to sell my condo this year and buy a house but my down payment fund is non-existent due to medical bills. Maybe next year?
Friendships: A few friends have dropped off the map. One friend in particular became obviously annoyed at me talking about medical issues after she realized my lap didn't 'cure' me. She was supportive up until the lap... That was the beginning of the end. I don't interact with some of my friends as often because I don't feel the best some days, but I make an effort when I can and my good friends know what's going on.
Creating Relationships: Uh, yeah, this one's hard. My choices are 1. keep the friends I have/stay single or 2. open up to someone new about all the sh*t going on with my health. So far, I've opted for option 1, though I know it's not realistic for much longer...
Intimacy: I avoided it for a long time, terrified that if I met someone new and we did the naked tango, I'd bleed/have pain and I didn't want to even try to see what would happen. Many, many captain & Coke's allowed me to try out my girlie parts with a somewhat stranger, and it wasn't that bad. The fear of intimacy was worse than the actual intimacy! I hope I'm over the fear and I hope the pain stays manageable.
Mental Health: I've doubted my strength/ability to cope/ability to go on living/reason for being on this planet many a time... I have a good therapist that talks some sense into me.
Holidays/Vacations/Free Time: What holidays?? I can't afford any! As for free time, a lot of it is spent on the couch with no energy. Bleh.
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Post by claireboe on Apr 14, 2011 0:13:32 GMT -5
Answering for my teen *16yo* dd: Work: She used to babysit regularly, but has had to cancel and turn down jobs so much that she doesn't get asked much. She really wants a regular job, but I think her pain needs to be more under control. Studies: She hasn't done regular course work in almost a year due to the pain of endo. Either she's in excruciating pain or on drugs and can't concentrate. She also gets bad headaches (which I believe are stress/endo related). She should be a junior. She is trying to test out of high school (she's homeschooled) by taking the high school proficiency test. She passed 1/2 of it, but hasn't yet passed the math portion. She'll, hopefully, be able to study better with the treatment we just got prescribed today. Finances: see "work" Family: Thank God, no one in our family has been skeptical or negative about all this. In fact, my brother's girlfriend is the one who recognized dd's symptoms a year-and-a-half ago (when, after a 5 day stay in the hospital for pain, the treating doctor did NOTHING), and recommended her diagnosing ob/gyn. She is now my sister-in-law. She also has endo, and so has educated my brother thoroughly on how bad it can be. Close Family: My son (15yo) probably gets the worst end of the deal in our house. Because dd is disabled a lot of the time, he does almost all the chores. He never complains, and he loves his sister and hates to see her suffering. He also fetches drinks or food for her if I'm not here. So yeah, things are okay here. Future Plans: Dd had wanted to dance professionally, or teach dance. Those dreams were shattered with the endo. She isn't sure what she wants to do now (she keeps changing her mind), but I'm hoping to get her help that will enable her to pursue the career of her choice. Friendships: She had a small group of great friends, all of whom are supportive. She doesn't talk about the pain much, but she tells them when she's on painkillers as a safety issue. Can't complain on the friends front. Creating Relationships: Not sure about this. She hasn't made any new friends since getting endo, but hadn't thought about that until you asked. Intimacy: She is not sexually active and never has been. I pray that she won't have any problems, but we all know how that goes. Mental Health: She is not herself most of the time. She's such a neat kid, but the pain has distorted her personality. She's more "herself" when she's on painkillers, which is really sad. She has said she gets depressed (and who wouldn't!) and has some anxiety issues that cropped up recently. Holidays/Vacations/Free Time: When she feels well enough, she goes to the mall with friends, or to sleepovers, or to dance class. Those times are pretty spread out, but seem to come in spurts. I let her visit with friends as much as possible, because I've noticed it makes her happier. We don't get to go on vacation, so that's a non-issue. She is going on a trip with my folks in June, and my biggest hope is that the new meds she's on will have kicked in by then, and she can fully enjoy the trip. As far as holidays, she missed my dad's 80th bday party three years ago due to a migraine headache. We didn't know she had endo at that point. She muddles through any holidays that fall on her bad days.
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Post by wondergrl6 on Apr 14, 2011 8:37:47 GMT -5
Work: Fortunately, I have a very supportive boss, who doesn't like to talk about female issues. (Men, lol) I miss one day a month like clockwork, but that should change soon.
Finances: BROKE, like everyone else, doctor visits, specialist visits, 3 CT scans in 6 months, monthly Vicodin, Depo shots, ugh.
Family:Love love love my DH. He's been a jewel...mostly because he doesn't really get what's going on. And, I'm OK with that. I mention uterus and his eyes glaze over. He does understand when it's a "sorry, Mommy can't do that today" kind of day.
Future Plans:Hopefully, with surgery next week, all clears up and I can get on with living. If not, well, we will drop back ten and punt.
Friendships:My BFF is a PCOS/Cancer survivor. It's wonderful having someone who understands that I don't feel good, and why.
Creating Relationships: No problems.
Intimacy: What's this? LOL. DH and I have gone from once or twice a week to maybe once a month!! He's been good natured about it all, and hopefully when I am better, this gets better.
Mental Health: This to me is the hardest part. I have a lot of depression, especially after doctors appointments. But, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that's a huge sigh of relief.
Holidays/Vacations/Free Time: I can't do as much as I could, between $, pain and meds...but again...looking forward to next week!
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Post by Tamela on Apr 15, 2011 5:54:55 GMT -5
Work: have missed so much, I've been concerned about losing my job for about a year now. Thankfully my boss has been so supportive. Finances: I have 3-6000 spent on medical every year. This year it will be 14000 after insurance from major surgery. Family: I love them and they have been nothing but supportive Future Plans: just had major surgery and I hope to not miss work, keep my job and get out and enjoy life again. Friendships: sad but not many as I have opted to stay home because of health rather than go out and be social. I'm not really invited much anymore. Intimacy: sorry to say, this has been great for me. Mental Health: have really been not happy the past two years. Worried all month about ovulating and period and how bad it will be this month!! Harder to get excited about things and make plans. I'm much more pessimistic about things too. I am sad to see so many similar stories and yet comforted that we arnt alone.
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Post by gemstone on Apr 16, 2011 7:54:24 GMT -5
Work: My work have been pretty s**tty about me being ill. I have missed a lot of work and feel bad for the girls in my team, but at the end of the day I'm not getting paid for when I'm off.
Finances: I have free healthcare as in the UK, however not getting paid for my sick days really does have an effect month to month, and with the paycut they asked me to take... I have some ex-boyfriend generated debt left that I am paying which eats up a lot of my paycheck and so anything I lose is really noticeable.
Family: I have become closer to my family in many ways. My family are amazing anyway, but have been brilliant since I've been ill. I feel like I'm a bit closer with my one brother (he's 25) as he asks more how I am which is nice.
Future Plans: are on hold. I really don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. I feel like each week I'm getting worse even though I do get some relief from meds/hormones. I used to be really motivated and career driven, but I have done a complete 180 with this and now my dreams are basically to settle down, hopefully have some kids and enjoy life. Not very inspirational I know but that's where I am!
Friendships: I now know who my friends are!!! Some people have been incredibly supportive and some just don't want to know, but that's fine with me to be honest! It's shown me who my real friends are . I'm still invited out as my friends know I am always up for it, but they are understanding when I can't, although it's still horrible cancelling at the last minute.
Creating Relationships: I have a boyfriend who is absolutely perfect and so I'm not looking for anyone else in that respect. I have a wide network of friends and acquaintances so I don't really have any problems here. Intimacy: Intercourse is very difficult. Sometimes I'll try and it will be absolutely fine and other times I feel like I'm being stabbed to death! My boyfriend is brilliant about this. We met and then I got ill as I came off the pill after about ten years so all my problems started as we started seeing each other. He has been there for me and never puts any pressure on me. We are so close and are always joking around, so when I can't have intercourse, he says 'ok, but there's nothing wrong with your mouth right?'!!! Seriously though, I often feel too weak/in pain/sick etc, and he is so good about it all. I have a keeper there! Mental Health: I'm pretty good here tbh. No real problems, I get down a few times a month but who doesn't, with or without problems?
Holidays/Vacations/Free Time: are usually spent sitting, lying or sleeping unfortunately. I have time off over Easter and hope to actually do some things rather than 'waste' it being ill.
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