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Post by darkvixen77 on May 13, 2010 15:28:45 GMT -5
For a very long time i have felt like i have no control over my moods. Since about the age of 10 i felt constantly depressed and i tried to commit suicide when i was only 11 which is something i am incredibly ashamed to say. I then started self harming but i think i finnally got my head around that and i seem okay now. But the sad feelings dont stop. I was always told that feeling sad at times is normal part of hormones but maybe now it has come down to endo? i dont really know... I have no intention anymore of ending my life but i fantasise about death alot without realising and since my best friend died a couple of months ago, mortality seems to dawn over me so badly.
I am still waiting to be put on treatment for endo, will that finnally stop the bad feeling?
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Post by pretty on May 13, 2010 17:38:06 GMT -5
You really need to see someone about your depression. It could be related to the endo, but it sounds more like you have always had deep feelings of depression, before you found out about the endo. Please look at it as another serious health problem, and get some treatment, becuase you are already going through enough... and try to remember that there are effective treatments for depression out there, and it will probably be easier to find some resolution for your depression than for your endo! Please don't just let yourself feel bad, be pro-active, and ask your doctor for help as soon as you are able to.
I've been there too. You CAN feel better! Pretty
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Post by Karen on May 13, 2010 20:37:15 GMT -5
First off, I completely agree with pretty in that you really should seek help. Depression sucks, but having to deal with a chronic disease on top of it is also difficult. It's ok to need the help of others to get through it - we're not hard-wired to know how to cope with this kind of stuff!
Also keep in mind that some of this *could* be hormonal or something else entirely and is something worth discussing with your doctor. See if your doctor will do any hormone and/or thyroid tests, among others, to see what's going on with you BEFORE you begin any sort of treatment for endo. Keep in mind - many treatments for endo that you'll get from your doc may involve hormones so keep all that in check. Whatever you decide to do, BE SURE you have a doctor that you absolutely trust.
Seriously, find someone to talk to if you can! For me, it's been a godsend, particularly when it comes to coping with endo. She's kept track of which meds I've been on, gave me some good suggestions to consider when I was having some bad reactions, points me in another direction when I have a bad doctor experience, has given me some good referrals to other healthcare providers, and lets me know when I need to try something else, when I'm getting stuck. Sometimes it's really nice to have someone on our sides, helping us through all the crap. Maybe you already have someone like that, but if you don't, it can really make a huge difference.
There are a lot of things in life that are out of our control, but you can find small ways to take some of that control back, and day by day, things can get better. Hugs!
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Post by JC on May 14, 2010 9:55:28 GMT -5
hello, I am sorry you feel like this. It makes things so difficult. I would first like to tell you that you should not be ashamed of a suicide attempt. We are here to support you and it is good that you can talk about it. Always ask for help if you need it! There are so many people that care to help. I like what Karen said. I think the best thing to do is first rule out anything physical that may be causing this. You can start by finding an understanding doctor that listens to your concerns. Have some tests done on hormone levels, thyroid, maybe even see an endocrinologist. Those doctors are amazing. While doing this, it never hurts to find someone to talk to, preferably someone professional. I can't begin to tell you how much having someone non-judging and non-partial to talk to has helped me. You can tell them anything you want without feeling bad or ashamed. Also there is a thread I think you should read through here about stories of self harm. Read through it and possibly talk to some of the girls on there that have shared stories. I think it would bring you much comfort. cjlevett.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=depression&action=display&thread=3686
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Post by hellsbells on May 14, 2010 14:26:02 GMT -5
I've been through depression a few times, usually short bursts for known reasons but I've found the right medication has totally helped me turn thinga around, feel normal and just cope. Please seek help for this, you can change things.
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