Post by sunshine78 on Dec 4, 2009 5:19:04 GMT -5
Nothing makes one feel like a bigger loser than not being able to find a job, regardless of The State of The Economy. I've never had much trouble, if any, finding a job, before. The longest I've been out of work was 5 weeks, but it would've been waaaay shorter, if I wanted a 1.5 hour, one-way commute, at the time. Except for that, I've never been without a job for more than a few days.
The job from which I was (not so) recently laid off screwed me, big time. So, when I had enough, I started looking for work, elsewhere (of course, this was around the big, huge low in the economic downturn). I started looking once I had time (thanks to them, for screwing me), and kept working part-time (though, legally, I was technically full-time, for a number of months), so I could keep my days open for interviews and more searching, and whatnot. Of course, the only bites I got then, and seem to be getting now, are for effing insurance sales jobs. Incidentally, I've never sold a thing in my life, because my philosophy is: If someone wants something, they'll go looking for it, not the other way around. Even in this economic climate, I'm not the kind of person who wants their paycheck to depend on whether or not I can talk someone into something. Anyway, I don't know what these people are thinking, because nowhere on my resume does "sales" appear. Not once.
In any case, the massive, bleak depression is starting to sink in, because I can't pay even my little bills on time, anymore. I'm going to have to start selling sh*t to do it. I hope I can avoid having to go back to the job that has done nothing but screw me so hard from day one, but if I have to, at least it's work, and I can maybe start paying some stuff down. I just hate the idea, with every fiber of my being, of going back to the place that has done nothing but do me wrong. A brief synopsis: I worked at a place that decided one day to change my schedule, so that I was working more hours and working later, because of this "ranking" thing, meaning based on average handle time (call center) statistics. They knew I was going to school, and they did it, anyway. After two exceptions requests not even being accepted or denied, but rather, ignored, I applied for a part time evening position on a career website. Literally, the next day, someone was calling on my cellphone, during a lunch break between classes. I went in, told the b*tch (I not to much later found out) what my schedule was, and she told me that everyone in the office alternated Saturdays, and that my hours were 4pm to 9pm, and I could even take up to a 1hr break, if I wanted. She also told me that I would be doing mostly data entry, and a little bit of customer contact. It turned out to be the opposite, and the hours turned out to run me over 40/wk, when it was supposed to be 20-25. Then, she proceeds to have one of the other girls tell me that I work every Saturday, b/c I'm part-time. Long story short, because of all of that b.s. during that semester, one of my grades tanked, and I was put on academic contract. And, even though my overall GPA was still acceptable, the one for that semester wasn't (it was the 5 hour class that screwed me, otherwise, I would've been in the clear), so I had to appeal to get financial aid, and used my timecards to do so. They grudgingly accepted. Next semester: They refused to adequately staff the front office, and I was still having to work every Saturday, so I had to do multiple jobs, even though the previous 4 people that had done MY job didn't have to. This caused me to get out late, still, every single night, and not have any time to study. One class got me, that semester, so I continued on academic contract. Well, later on, I was finally granted the concession to work every other Saturday (which is still twice as often as everyone else in the office), which gave me SOME relief, but not much. But then... we were more than severely understaffed, to the point of the regional manager actually yelling at our office manager, which didn't amount to anything happening, duh. Anyway, I ended up getting out of work after 11pm every night, because I wasn't allowed to touch my OWN work, until the phones were shut off one hour before closing. Again, I am the only person who has EVER had to answer phones while processing ALL of the invoices that come in for the day, which number near 1000. And I also had to do lab work, term papers, etc. I had been bitching about it for months, and nobody had done anything about it. So... I ended up failing one class, getting Ds in 2, and only barely getting a C in one. I got kicked out of the school of geology because of them. I would've searched for work more often, had I had a second to even scratch my ass. I was literally getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night, for weeks on end, because the office manager would not do her job, and make sure we had enough people. Now, I have no financial aid, so I have this huge balance to pay back to the school. I have other bills I can't pay, now, because THEY LAID ME OFF, even though, of all people they should've kept, it should've been me, because I cover for EVERYONE ELSE, and even when I've been told BY MY PHYSICIANS not to come into work, I've gone in anyway, BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WAS THERE.
Since I was "part-time", even if I worked more hours than some of the "full-time" people, I did not qualify for health insurance, vacation, etc., nor even unemployment. And since they laid me off, instead of chucking me altogether, I couldn't even draw anything out of my 401k thingy. So, they screwed me, again.
Now, I'm sure one can understand why I wouldn't want to go back there, and in fact, would only half-jokingly rather kill myself than do so... but hey, it's better than prostitution. (Isn't it? I'm still debating that).
Here's the gist: It's only been recently, but I've finally gotten to the point where I wake up, and look around, and look at my bank account, and bills... and want to cry. All the time. I barely have the energy to get out of bed, or off the couch. I still do it, on the off chance I actually have any job interviews (the temp agencies have been useless, so far, and they don't even care - it's one thing if they don't have anything, but you walk in, and they're not even professional in the way they receive you). But for the most part, I have to apply online to jobs, and field phonecalls, all from people who want me to drive 40 miles for $8.00/hr, or want me to sell insurance (and even then, that's not a sure thing - they just want me to drive too many miles in my rust bucket to work for not enough money to pay for a more reliable vehicle).
I try to keep myself up by listening to fun or sexxy music, or watching interesting/so stupid it's funny stuff on TV, but it's like everything I enjoy has lost its luster... as if I'm dying on the inside, and the shell of my former self does the bare minimum of what she has to do to keep going. Don't get me wrong, she's not ALL gone, but... this just sucks so much, and I've never felt more stuck or hopeless in my life. I feel like every job I've ever gotten wants to pay me less and less for more and more experience, and I just can't take it, anymore... and the ones that say they're going to respect my school schedule couldn't give two sh*ts less, and in fact, seem to actively sabotage me in that respect. And I thought there was something I could do about it, legally, but all evidence points to that not being the case. I'm not a minor, so I don't think I have any legal recourse against these people. I could try discrimination, and I think I could prove it, but I don't think I'd win.
Sh*t, if I could, I'd f*cking enlist in the armed forces, just for the steady paycheck... but I can't, b/c I have gastric issues, and they won't let you in if you have gastric issues. Yes, I'm depressed and scared enough about having no money that I've considered the military.
Anyway... I hope this temp agency I'm visiting in about 11 hours turns out not to be useless, because I need a job. Badly. I don't know what I'm going to do about this. I'd like to think I will one day be able to tell the company that has done nothing but no service to me to go take a flying leap, and I hate the fact that it looks like they may be the one thing that's going to save me, at the beginning of the year, but... gah, I just don't want to do it. For the last couple of months I was there, I would get this dark, weepy, "Oh, God, please drop an F-5 on the building, or strike my car with the biggest, baddest bold of lightning you have in your arsenal" feeling, the nearer I drew to the building, or I would get this (somewhat joking) urge to drive my car directly into the building - point of entry, office of the Office (no)Manager. "OOPS! I sneezed, and the wheel jerked, and..."
God. I never thought I was going to have to go back on the Prozac, but it's looking like that.
The job from which I was (not so) recently laid off screwed me, big time. So, when I had enough, I started looking for work, elsewhere (of course, this was around the big, huge low in the economic downturn). I started looking once I had time (thanks to them, for screwing me), and kept working part-time (though, legally, I was technically full-time, for a number of months), so I could keep my days open for interviews and more searching, and whatnot. Of course, the only bites I got then, and seem to be getting now, are for effing insurance sales jobs. Incidentally, I've never sold a thing in my life, because my philosophy is: If someone wants something, they'll go looking for it, not the other way around. Even in this economic climate, I'm not the kind of person who wants their paycheck to depend on whether or not I can talk someone into something. Anyway, I don't know what these people are thinking, because nowhere on my resume does "sales" appear. Not once.
In any case, the massive, bleak depression is starting to sink in, because I can't pay even my little bills on time, anymore. I'm going to have to start selling sh*t to do it. I hope I can avoid having to go back to the job that has done nothing but screw me so hard from day one, but if I have to, at least it's work, and I can maybe start paying some stuff down. I just hate the idea, with every fiber of my being, of going back to the place that has done nothing but do me wrong. A brief synopsis: I worked at a place that decided one day to change my schedule, so that I was working more hours and working later, because of this "ranking" thing, meaning based on average handle time (call center) statistics. They knew I was going to school, and they did it, anyway. After two exceptions requests not even being accepted or denied, but rather, ignored, I applied for a part time evening position on a career website. Literally, the next day, someone was calling on my cellphone, during a lunch break between classes. I went in, told the b*tch (I not to much later found out) what my schedule was, and she told me that everyone in the office alternated Saturdays, and that my hours were 4pm to 9pm, and I could even take up to a 1hr break, if I wanted. She also told me that I would be doing mostly data entry, and a little bit of customer contact. It turned out to be the opposite, and the hours turned out to run me over 40/wk, when it was supposed to be 20-25. Then, she proceeds to have one of the other girls tell me that I work every Saturday, b/c I'm part-time. Long story short, because of all of that b.s. during that semester, one of my grades tanked, and I was put on academic contract. And, even though my overall GPA was still acceptable, the one for that semester wasn't (it was the 5 hour class that screwed me, otherwise, I would've been in the clear), so I had to appeal to get financial aid, and used my timecards to do so. They grudgingly accepted. Next semester: They refused to adequately staff the front office, and I was still having to work every Saturday, so I had to do multiple jobs, even though the previous 4 people that had done MY job didn't have to. This caused me to get out late, still, every single night, and not have any time to study. One class got me, that semester, so I continued on academic contract. Well, later on, I was finally granted the concession to work every other Saturday (which is still twice as often as everyone else in the office), which gave me SOME relief, but not much. But then... we were more than severely understaffed, to the point of the regional manager actually yelling at our office manager, which didn't amount to anything happening, duh. Anyway, I ended up getting out of work after 11pm every night, because I wasn't allowed to touch my OWN work, until the phones were shut off one hour before closing. Again, I am the only person who has EVER had to answer phones while processing ALL of the invoices that come in for the day, which number near 1000. And I also had to do lab work, term papers, etc. I had been bitching about it for months, and nobody had done anything about it. So... I ended up failing one class, getting Ds in 2, and only barely getting a C in one. I got kicked out of the school of geology because of them. I would've searched for work more often, had I had a second to even scratch my ass. I was literally getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night, for weeks on end, because the office manager would not do her job, and make sure we had enough people. Now, I have no financial aid, so I have this huge balance to pay back to the school. I have other bills I can't pay, now, because THEY LAID ME OFF, even though, of all people they should've kept, it should've been me, because I cover for EVERYONE ELSE, and even when I've been told BY MY PHYSICIANS not to come into work, I've gone in anyway, BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WAS THERE.
Since I was "part-time", even if I worked more hours than some of the "full-time" people, I did not qualify for health insurance, vacation, etc., nor even unemployment. And since they laid me off, instead of chucking me altogether, I couldn't even draw anything out of my 401k thingy. So, they screwed me, again.
Now, I'm sure one can understand why I wouldn't want to go back there, and in fact, would only half-jokingly rather kill myself than do so... but hey, it's better than prostitution. (Isn't it? I'm still debating that).
Here's the gist: It's only been recently, but I've finally gotten to the point where I wake up, and look around, and look at my bank account, and bills... and want to cry. All the time. I barely have the energy to get out of bed, or off the couch. I still do it, on the off chance I actually have any job interviews (the temp agencies have been useless, so far, and they don't even care - it's one thing if they don't have anything, but you walk in, and they're not even professional in the way they receive you). But for the most part, I have to apply online to jobs, and field phonecalls, all from people who want me to drive 40 miles for $8.00/hr, or want me to sell insurance (and even then, that's not a sure thing - they just want me to drive too many miles in my rust bucket to work for not enough money to pay for a more reliable vehicle).
I try to keep myself up by listening to fun or sexxy music, or watching interesting/so stupid it's funny stuff on TV, but it's like everything I enjoy has lost its luster... as if I'm dying on the inside, and the shell of my former self does the bare minimum of what she has to do to keep going. Don't get me wrong, she's not ALL gone, but... this just sucks so much, and I've never felt more stuck or hopeless in my life. I feel like every job I've ever gotten wants to pay me less and less for more and more experience, and I just can't take it, anymore... and the ones that say they're going to respect my school schedule couldn't give two sh*ts less, and in fact, seem to actively sabotage me in that respect. And I thought there was something I could do about it, legally, but all evidence points to that not being the case. I'm not a minor, so I don't think I have any legal recourse against these people. I could try discrimination, and I think I could prove it, but I don't think I'd win.
Sh*t, if I could, I'd f*cking enlist in the armed forces, just for the steady paycheck... but I can't, b/c I have gastric issues, and they won't let you in if you have gastric issues. Yes, I'm depressed and scared enough about having no money that I've considered the military.
Anyway... I hope this temp agency I'm visiting in about 11 hours turns out not to be useless, because I need a job. Badly. I don't know what I'm going to do about this. I'd like to think I will one day be able to tell the company that has done nothing but no service to me to go take a flying leap, and I hate the fact that it looks like they may be the one thing that's going to save me, at the beginning of the year, but... gah, I just don't want to do it. For the last couple of months I was there, I would get this dark, weepy, "Oh, God, please drop an F-5 on the building, or strike my car with the biggest, baddest bold of lightning you have in your arsenal" feeling, the nearer I drew to the building, or I would get this (somewhat joking) urge to drive my car directly into the building - point of entry, office of the Office (no)Manager. "OOPS! I sneezed, and the wheel jerked, and..."
God. I never thought I was going to have to go back on the Prozac, but it's looking like that.