|
Post by erzulie on Jan 5, 2007 18:33:01 GMT -5
Ok, some time ago I expressed to a certain other member that it might be cool to have a section on this forum especially for lesbians. I've never suggested it to Carolyn because a) I think I'm the only lesbian on here and I don't really need a section all to myself and b) I'm not entirely sure what we'd talk about even if there were other lesbians. I know the experience of having endometriosis is a bit different for a lesbian than it is for a straight girl, but I'm not sure if it's different enough for us to have a lot to talk about. Then again, even if it's not a very busy section, it still might be nice for lesbians to have a place to discuss coming out to gynecologists etc. Anyway I decided to post this to see if there was any interest in such a section. If there are any closeted lesbians here, now would be the time to come out so you can let me know if you want this section!
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 5, 2007 18:50:47 GMT -5
Humm. I can see how that would be a good idea, as many lesbians probably don't go to the gynecologist to complain of pain from a penis! Lesbians with endometriosis are probably even more under-represented and under-diagnosed than anyone! I'm in favor of it!
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Jan 5, 2007 19:23:20 GMT -5
Well maybe not from penis but I bet sex can still hurt in the same way. It would be great for lesbian and bisexual women to feel well represented on here, but as you've said erzulie, it jmay be a little quiet and underused. I do get that the experience will be different, but then we are only united by endo and this site, so a new section just like for teens and fertility etc would be great. I think it'd need a lot of ideas to get topics started, as some may not be comfortable at first talking about endo in terms of their sexuality... maybe we could try a few specific topics first, and if they get a good response, they could be put into their own section? And would it have ground rules like in the teen section?
|
|
|
Post by erzulie on Jan 6, 2007 0:26:36 GMT -5
Well, you can call this experimental topic number one. I don't know about the ground rules...I think I'd start out without them and add them only if we saw the need. If there were rules I expect they'd be about the same as in the teen forum, only with the words "lesbians/ bisexual women" replacing the word "teenager." I doubt we'll need such rules, I mean I don't see it as very likely that straight women will take over the section. If straight women want to post there they can. There isn't a rule in the fertility section saying you have to be trying to conceive in order to post there, even though that's primarily who it's for. Sometimes other people have valuable advice too. As ouchy has said to me before, it might be worth starting the section so future prospective members who happen to be lesbians will know they are welcome here and that they have a place where they can discuss more specific issues. The sexual experience is a lot different for those in lesbian relationships. The doctor experience is also quite different. For some lesbians the idea of seeing a gynecologist at all is terrifying. They want to know your sexual history, and in many places it is still perfectly legal to deny treatment based on a person's sexual orientation. Even in places where such discrimination is illegal, it's still possible the doctor might treat you differently because you're gay, and it might be hard to prove it. I once read an article that said doctors are more likely to give lesbians hysterectomies than to give them to straight women, because they figure lesbians aren't going to use their uteruses for anything anyway. A lot of endometriosis treatment revolves around fertility...some doctors see the disease as not being a big deal if you're not worried about being infertile, and may be lazier about even trying to treat you. So i guess there would be plenty to talk about, but only if there are multiple people to discuss it. It would just be kind of like a home base, I don't want it to be a separatist kind of thing with people posting only in that section. It would just be kind of nice to let those who have experienced that kind of thing discuss it with others who have experienced similar things. It's also kind of nice to have a place where you never feel alienated. That's why I suggested the teen room...I figured if you're 15 and you just found out you have endometriosis and you go to look for advice on the internet and everyone you meet is an adult. Well, they probably have good advice that you need, but you can't shake the feeling you're at a party you weren't supposed to be at. Sometimes I feel the same way, not usually but there are some conversations I just can't fit into. So the teenagers get their own section where they will always feel like they fit in, and that hopefully makes them feel a bit more welcome on the site in general. Sure, there are still some topics in the other parts of the forum that they don't relate to at all, but they have their own place where they can start threads the adults won't relate to. So we're even. Perhaps it even attracted more teens to the site--there weren't any at the time the section was first added. I guess a lesbian forum would have the same purpose. I can see an argument for starting one in the hopes it will attract more lesbians/bisexual women, but if we start it and I'm the only one I kind of feel like I'm putting myself on display. I don't really want to do that!
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 6, 2007 0:39:03 GMT -5
Are you serious? Some doctors can refuse to treat you based on your sexual orientation?!? That's seriously jacked up!!! I thought it was bad how pharmacists are allowed in some states to not give a woman an rx of birth control if the pharmacist has "religious obligations (or something)" not to. That's really b.s. about a doctor not treating a patient, though. It needs to be stopped!
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Jan 6, 2007 7:37:06 GMT -5
Yes that is absolutely disgusting. It's things like that that make you worry that your future health is in the hands of someone whose opinions may stop you getting the best treament possible. Sadly just another example of a mortal doctor thinking they're god. I once had a doctor who went completely weird with me after realising I had a sex life, cos I wanted to discuss birth control while I was off the pill. A lot of my doctors have been a bit weird as a lot assume I am muslim based on my looks and first name, but this fella was downright rude. Not in a way you could prove, just his conduct, the way he spoke to me and the looks he gave. I can imagine it must be very hard not to be paranoid that doctors are judging you for your sexuality rather than as a person with a health issue. With the various issues you have pointed out erzulie it seems there is a lot to talk about! I would be very interested to read the posts concerning these issues, especially as I didn't have a clue how discrimination is still legal in some places! It would great to see more people interested in it, cos beside it being quiet I don't see why we shouldn't have a forum for lesbian members.
|
|
|
Post by erzulie on Jan 6, 2007 22:10:29 GMT -5
I don't follow the laws outside the US too closely, but i know in quite a few states here that it is still perfectly legal to blatantly discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation. Landlords can refuse to rent to gay couples, employers can refuse to hire people they know are gay or fire them after finding out. So, I'm guessing doctors can refuse to treat a person if they feel uncomfortable with the fact that that person is gay. Even if they can't actually turn the person out, they can tell the person they think everything's fine so the person will leave, and the person won't have much legal action to take. In the state where I live it isn't a problem because sexual orientation is now included in our anti-discrimination laws, but the laws vary a lot from state to state and from country to country. But even with those laws, there is always discrimination that can't be proven, just like the doctor who was rude to you, cherry, because of what he perceived your religion to be.
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Jan 7, 2007 11:32:03 GMT -5
I know it's not the same at all, but after the apparent disgust from someone because of his perceptions, sorta gave me an idea of what you may be facing everytime you cross paths with a new health professional. I was made to feel dirty for one, so I'd feel very angry if that was a worry every time I saw a doctor! I thought times had changed for crying out loud, what the hell has your sex life got to do with how well you work, what kind of tenant you are, and above all, how well you want your body to be treated... whether or not you want to get pregnant! And who knows, one of these days, though its a morbid thought, a doctor may turn out a gay patient who turns out to have something very wrong... and then that doctor would have to own up to why they pretended everything was fine. Maybe it will set a precedent, and things will change. But I just hope that doesn't have to happen to someone. It just seems that something really awful has to happen to change ridiculous perceptions like that... Who you want to share your life with is not something you should be judged on in these situations, if any!
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 7, 2007 11:55:00 GMT -5
LOL. SO many people are reading this thread...but we're the only ones posting. That's funny. Hopefully more people will post.
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Jan 7, 2007 12:50:24 GMT -5
Yeah please someone else post, support is needed for this or at least some opinions can be shared on it? Before i fall off my high horse! xx Btw you wouldn't believe some of the ridiculous google ads coming up at the bottom of my page!
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 7, 2007 13:02:18 GMT -5
LOL!!!!!!! Mine, too! Check out the ads at the top of the page!!! One of the ones on mine is "Rainbow Depot." LOL!!!
|
|
|
Post by erzulie on Jan 7, 2007 15:48:15 GMT -5
Well, I think what you experienced basically was the same thing cherry, I mean there's no real difference between discrimination based on sexual orientation or discrimination based on religion or on anything else. The fact it wasn't really your religion didn't matter--all that mattered was what the doctor thought. Our anti-discrimination laws where i live make it clear that it is illegal to discriminate based on real or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. Straight people have won lawsuits after being discriminated against because an employer/ coach/ whatever thought they were gay.
I'm getting some crazy ads too--I have one that says "Gay Cure." I guess all I need is to take a dose of magic Gayness-Be-Gone formula and I'll no longer have to worry about what doctors think! I don't see what's so funny about Rainbow Depot though. I've been there before, it's just a site where you can get gay pride stuff and other stuff. Where do you think people buy all that, Wal-Mart?
I also agree that we need to get more opinions! This is basically just being a three-way conversation! It proves my point that a lesbian section would be quiet, but then again so was the teen section at first. I guess we could make such a section and just say, should anyone else join who could use it, it's waiting for you!
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 7, 2007 20:12:59 GMT -5
I don't see what's so funny about Rainbow Depot though. I've been there before, it's just a site where you can get gay pride stuff and other stuff. Where do you think people buy all that, Wal-Mart? Sorry. I didn't know it was a real store-type thing. I just thought it was funny advertising.
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Jan 7, 2007 20:31:20 GMT -5
I had the gay cure one, very odd! I have seen the gay pride ribbons in my local Wal-Mart... its called Asda but they mainly stick to the breast cancer ribbons. Maybe some gay members are a bit shy about speaking out just now, but I think it's definitely a good idea. I always have an opinion to share and change, and share, and delete and repost...
|
|
|
Post by ouchy on Jan 7, 2007 20:55:13 GMT -5
So, do lesbians get offended by gay jokes?
|
|