New & Still A Bit In Denial?

[mimi1373]

I am happy to have found this message board for support and information. I am 36 years old and I have finally come to terms with the fact that something is "not right" with me. I guess I need help figuring out how to approach this disease.

As a teenager I remember having very painful heavy periods. I can remember lying on the bathroom floor crying because of the cramps and stabbing pains during/after BM's. I remember sleeping with a towel between my legs because it hurt too bad to insert a tampon, and a pad (even 2 pads) would be saturated by the middle of the night. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, so I just suffered with the pain and discomfort. Then came college, and I immediately made a gyne appointment my freshman year and went on the pill. I was on the pill continuously for over 15 years and barely had any problems or pains, so I had just about forgotten about all of it.

About a year ago I decided to go off the Pill because I had been getting daily migraines, and my neorologist suggested that I might get some relief from the headaches if I stopped taking it. Well guess what----my old "menstrual" problems (which I had just about forgotten about)returned with a vengeance! And over the past year they have gotten worse. During my period, I have serious cramping and heavy bleeding with clots. The painful BM's have returned...I swear it feels like I am giving birth (athough I really don't know what that feels like) to a spiked bowling ball thru my rear-end (too graphic??), and I now have a contant dull pain in my right ovary all the time, but especially during ovulation when I can barely walk. I also have an achy back all of the time. My newest problem which has just started to happen in the past month is menstrual cramps which make me nauseus and almost pass out --- but not during my period. They come on suddenly ;last about a half hour and then fade away. But boy, is it scary...the other day I was out for a run and I didn't think I was going to make it home!! I almost knocked on a complete strangers' door to ask if I could come inside and call my husband at work!

I usually have a pretty high tolerance for pain, and I am used to living with pain. Therefore I am always unsure of what is the difference between normal vs. abnormal pain. But...that last incident scared me and is what finally prompted me to call my gyne, and of course after explaining all of these symptoms, I don't have to tell you what she thinks I have. She has told me I should go back on the pill since I am not really sure if I am ready to get pregnant yet. But now I am concerned....did I wait too long??? My husband and I have always said we'd have kids, but we wanted to wait. Now I fear I have lost my opportunity. I am having an ultrasound next week, although from what I hear, that will not show much. My doctor is not recommending a laproscopy. I am not sure how a feel about that. She said it is only a temporary procedure, so she doesn't see the point of putting me thru it. I guess I just want to know for sure what is happening inside my body!! I am still in denial, I guess.

I am looking forward to learning about all of your experiences and finding out how you all deal with this. So far I am very frustrated because it seems no 2 cases are alike. So I keep thinking ...maybe I really don't have it!! Therefore, I really don't know what is the best course for me. Thanks for listening!

Mimi

[erzulie]

Welcome Mimi! A laparoscopy is usually a temporary solution and may not even bring you any relief, but it is a good idea, especially if you've never had one before, so you can find out what's going on in there. For one thing, it is the only way to diagnose the problem for sure. Although the symptoms aren't likely to be anything else, they COULD be and it's good to be sure, especially since there is a slim chance that there could be cancer. Also, endometriosis can do damage to your internal organs, which in some cases can be reversed through surgery, and in other cases further problems can be prevented. If you read ouchy's story in the "Laparoscopy Stories" thread (under Surgical Treatments) you'll find a very good reason to have the surgery.

[denna]

Hi Mimi

Most of us here understand how you feel. i myself took almost a year to be diagnosed and in fact my endo was found accidentally when i went for my fertility test. I agree with Erzulie about the Laparoscopy. I had a Laparotomy which is aan open surgery as mine was already in stage 3. It might not cure you but at least you know what is happening inside you. It might be something else. I think you should see a different gynae too seek a second opinion.there's no harm in doing that. best wishes

[mimi1373]

Thanks so much for your replies. I feel like I have been obsessing over this ever since my gyne appt. It is always on my mind...like, what the heck is in there??? I guess I just don't know enough yet. I am seriously considering getting a second opinion. But as I read thru some of the other posts here, I feel like my symptoms are mild in comparison!! So I don't want to over-react and insist on/undergo unnecessary surgery. You know what I mean? Since I haven't started ttc yet, I have no idea whether this is affecting my fertility. Do most people get surgery to help with fertility issues? Thanks so much for your input!

Mimi

[ouchy]

Hi, mimi! Some women actually can have quite bad endo and have hardly any pain. My cousin had stage IV, and she never had a period cramp in her life!!! The endo was everywhere, and she had four laparoscopies, and it always came back. The only symptoms she had were infertility and what she described as a "pressure sensation."

As far as fertility issues go, most women on here were diagnosed because of pain, rather than infertility, myself included. And although a majority of infertility cases are caused by endo, the majority of women with endo are fertile! K. I have to get ready for work now. Have a good day