grace
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Post by grace on Aug 31, 2007 9:42:46 GMT -5
I don't know if anyone have the same problem I am having as far as friends and family are concerned. I am very frustrated and depressed about my situation. I am so tired of my life revolving around endo, and noone understands. My friends and family feel like I just can't cope with pain, and that I experience the same thing they do every month. I have tried to explain how different my situation is than theirs and they just can't understand. I have tried and tried to get preg but I have two issues. One is the endo. The 2nd is my hubby has low sperm count and low motility. Every doc we've been to have all said that this combo makes IVF our only alternative. I can't afford IVF, and even if I could, I just wouldn't want to do it, because I have such a high probability of ectopic preg and early miscarriage. I have decided to go on birth control. It is the hardest decision I have ever had to make and can't talk to anyone about it because they don't understand. ALL my female friends are moms, and none of them have ever had a problem getting problem getting preg. So they can't understand what I am going through. Then they try to offer me help but their help only hurts me. They tell me things like it's for the best because I couldn't handle labor if I can't handle cramps. And I like to sleep late and can't do that with children. AS IF I DON'T KNOW THAT! It's almost like they find fault with me as way to explain why I can't get preg. I know they mean well, but it doesn't help. It's like they expect me to act like a mom, before I actually am. I can't do that! It's just really hard not having anyone to talk to. It's hard not having anyone who understands. My hubby is wonderful. He is so encouraging and supportive, but I really need another female to talk to and I don't have that, and I need that. And then at church (which I love, don't get me wrong), there is a lady who just found out she is preg. She wasn't happy about it, because she didn't want to have another child. She is OK now, but that hurts me so bad. And then everyone tells her that children are such a blessing, and that God knew she could was ready and just wanted to bless her with this great gift, because children are God's best gift. Please understand, I am very happy for her. And I agree with all of that, but when I hear that, I feel like everyone is saying, she deserves, I don't. She deserves it because she didn't want it, and I don't deserve it because I do. I feel like everyone thinks that I can't do it and I am the only one who thinks that I can. I am just frustrated and I know I have rambled too long. Can anyone give me advice, or just talk to me?
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grace
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Post by grace on Aug 31, 2007 9:53:24 GMT -5
And another thing...I am having to give up my hopes and dreams and everyone acts like I should just be OK with it. How am I supposed to be OK with that? I am never going to experience the joy of feeling a life grow inside me, I am never going to know what it feels like to nourish someone. How am I supposed to be OK with that?
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Post by ouchy on Aug 31, 2007 9:53:34 GMT -5
They can do IUI for low sperm count and motility. Unless the endo has severely mangled your tubes/ovaries (i.e. caused them to be out of line), there is a good chance you are fertile and just mistiming your ovulation. There are several things you can do on your own w/out tests at your Dr.'s office re: your fertility. 1) chart your temps (BBT charting) to make absolutely sure you are ovulating. A lot of women thing they know just when they ovulate, but then even a couple days off when you're dealing w/ semen issues can really throw things off timing-wise. You can use a great free online software called fertilityfriend.com. It even determines your ovulation patterns for you. 2) You can buy ovulation predictor strips in bulk from eBay. We have a great link on here somewhere that I posted. The guy sells like 50 of them for $17.99 or something. 2) learn your fertility signs. I highly recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. If cost is an issue, most public libraries carry the book. YOu will learn all about your cervical mucus, etc. The book even tells of a cocktail, I believe, to boost sperm count, etc. Also tells how to time intercourse for low sperm counts. READ THE BOOK!!! 3) If you still have your ovaries and tubes and they are functioning (you confirm you are ovulating each month), you have a chance of getting pregnant. No doctor can tell you that you can't unless your organs have been removed. Anyway, I do know how aggravating subfertility can be. I have several conditions in addition to endometriosis that are way worse for fertility, and I am pregnant now. You just have to learn how to work around the infertility/subfertility. We have some women on here who were told that IVF is the only way they'd conceive, but they got pregnant on their own before the procedure. Good luck!
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grace
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Post by grace on Aug 31, 2007 10:27:14 GMT -5
I have had 2 unsuccessful IUI's. The first one was hard to handle but this last one was the worst. I had one last year which was of course unsuccessful. I just had one again in July that was unsuccessful. It was so hard on me because I really believed I was preg. I started feel nauseous all the time, which never happens. My breasts were sore, which sometimes happens before my period, but this time was different because they stayed sore for 2 weeks. That never happens to me. My nipples were larger and darker and stayed that way for days. I usually eat chicken in some form or other everyday, and all of a sudden I didn't want any. Smells that I usually don't pay attention to made me feel sick. I just KNEW I was preg. Then I took a preg test and it was neg, then I got my period. I waited and took another test still neg, and had another period this month. That was devastating. The absolute worst thing I have ever experienced, and I just can't take having another IUI, or trying IVF and then having them not work. And I can't take this pain anymore. It's been 5 years since I've been off the pill and I have gotten worse and worse. I have tried so many different pain meds and nothing works.
My life has completely revolved around this and I can't deal anymore. My mom is getting married next month, and I am so happy for her, but my first thought when she told me, was God I hope I don't get my period that day.
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Post by ouchy on Aug 31, 2007 10:41:49 GMT -5
Sorry about the IUI's, Grace. You should really get that book then, chart your cycles, and look for the supplements to help your husband's count. One of my friends tried for 2 years to get pregnant. She had multiple subfertility issues, and her husband had a low count as well. She read that book, put her husband on the recommended cocktail, bringing his count to above normal, she started a diet to regulate her hormones and ovulation (same one I got pregnant on), and they got pregnant the first month of really trying after getting their health/fertility to its peak point.
Question. When not on the pill, are your periods regular? Do you have long cycles or anything?
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Post by minnie on Aug 31, 2007 11:10:51 GMT -5
Another excellent book for you to read is The fertile Soul by Dr Randine Lewis which approaches fertility from an acupuncture point of view. I have read it cover to cover and it covers every single issue you have mentioned and she has a high success rate. It also gives hope which is very important. Its sounds like you are very stressed about this and I can understand that. You must remember to try and relax a little about it as stress does not help you to conceive. There are loads of things that you can do to help and you should definately look into these. The website for that book is: www.thefertilesoul.com Try to remember that what will be will be and just look after yourself and be kind to yourself. You can only do your best in life and try not to compare yourself always to your friends as it is not always the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Good luck and chin up. You have some reading to do girl xxxx
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grace
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Post by grace on Aug 31, 2007 11:36:49 GMT -5
Ouchy. When I am not on the pill, my cycles are not regular. However, several months ago I started taking different vitamins and herbs (Flaxseed oil, evening primrose oil, black cohosh root, B6, Super B-Complex) including my usual prenatal vitamin. I started taking them to help with the pain. They have done nothing to stop the pain, but my cycles are regular now. Ever since I have been doing that my period always comes between days 29-31.
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grace
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Post by grace on Aug 31, 2007 11:44:12 GMT -5
Do these books talk about achieving preg even with endo, and low sperm count & motility?
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Post by ouchy on Aug 31, 2007 12:27:58 GMT -5
Low sperm count and motility, yes. Endometriosis is talked about a little, but endometriosis is by far not the most grave fertility concern. While some women w/ endo do have fertility problems, MOST women w/ endo are fertile. A lot of women w/ endo also have other underlying conditions.
Black cohosh is not good to take if you are trying to conceive. It can cause miscarriage.
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Post by minnie on Aug 31, 2007 16:51:09 GMT -5
In the book I mentioned, there is a whole chapter dedicated to it, also to male fertility issues such as low motlity. Ch 13 - Endometriosis and Fibriods Ch 14 PCOS AND POF Ch 15 Mechanical infertility - clearing the path to conception Ch 16 Male Factor infertility The whole book is so informative and gives hope. It illustrates each problem with a case study or two Please order it and the one that Ouchy reccommends. I really believe it will help you x
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Post by kb on Aug 31, 2007 23:42:17 GMT -5
Geez, your friends comments arent exactly supportive are they. Can assure you no one here thinks like that. I agree with all thats been said, you can defo work around this. I think its easy with endo to be frightened into believing its impossible to fall pregnant, but so many with endo do fall pregnant. You could try vitex to regulate your cycles, would work as well as black cohosh, works on the pituitary gland to regulate hormones. Im not certain its safe in pregnancy, but from memory i think it can actually be used to prevent miscarriage (but i dont think thats been tested), so it would be a safer choice. Also evening primrose oil helps fertility in one part of the cycle, and is risk for miscarriage in another part. If youve been able to regulate your cycle though with herbs and supplements, thats gotta be a sign that conditions havent been optimal but can be improved on easy enough. Good luck, were all here for you, i think you can do it, do your research and dont lose hope
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