Post by laineybugger on May 29, 2007 7:34:25 GMT -5
It's been years and years of pain and bleeding and suffering. I have been diagnosed for 3 years now (endometriosis, uterine fibroids, and ovarian cysts). I have had surgery 3 times. And at age 33 I have not been able to have children (I am lucky though my fiance has 2 beautiful girls that I love)
This stuff just plain wears you down. It seems like I am always in terrible pain counting down the days to surgery, recovering from surgery, or just having lots of pain and bleeding, and lots of dr appts without answers. I try to keep a positive outlook. I feel bad for my fiance having to go through all of this with me which piles some guilt on top of all the other feelings. I spent this lovely memorial day weekend mostly in bed or passing large clots. I should have been out at the parade with Corey and the girls or outside with them while they grilled, etc. I hate all the time I have missed out on friend/famly events. And all the missed work, and the dirty looks from my co-workers because I called in sick again. I hate all the money we have spent on this over the years on prescriptions, co-pays, surgery, etc. I don't know how many times I have cried on Corey's shoulder and said I don't want to feel like this anymore.
My obgyn is also my surgeon. he keeps telling me I should not be bleeding like this. NO I shouldn't be, but I am. his nurse is sick of me calling I am sure.
How am I supposed to plan a wedding like this? we have already postponed it once, we were supposed to get married this July 12th. my issues aren't the only reason we had to postpone it but it feels that way sometimes.
I let it get to me last night and felt really down. To the point where I actually said to myself, I hate my life. But that isn't true really, I just hate what my body is doing and this stuff I am going through. I am just plain sick of it. I have anxiety because I never know when the pain/bleeding are going to come on.
At this point I think I just want a hysterectomy so I can be done with it
This stuff just plain wears you down. It seems like I am always in terrible pain counting down the days to surgery, recovering from surgery, or just having lots of pain and bleeding, and lots of dr appts without answers. I try to keep a positive outlook. I feel bad for my fiance having to go through all of this with me which piles some guilt on top of all the other feelings. I spent this lovely memorial day weekend mostly in bed or passing large clots. I should have been out at the parade with Corey and the girls or outside with them while they grilled, etc. I hate all the time I have missed out on friend/famly events. And all the missed work, and the dirty looks from my co-workers because I called in sick again. I hate all the money we have spent on this over the years on prescriptions, co-pays, surgery, etc. I don't know how many times I have cried on Corey's shoulder and said I don't want to feel like this anymore.
My obgyn is also my surgeon. he keeps telling me I should not be bleeding like this. NO I shouldn't be, but I am. his nurse is sick of me calling I am sure.
How am I supposed to plan a wedding like this? we have already postponed it once, we were supposed to get married this July 12th. my issues aren't the only reason we had to postpone it but it feels that way sometimes.
I let it get to me last night and felt really down. To the point where I actually said to myself, I hate my life. But that isn't true really, I just hate what my body is doing and this stuff I am going through. I am just plain sick of it. I have anxiety because I never know when the pain/bleeding are going to come on.
At this point I think I just want a hysterectomy so I can be done with it