Post by samirish on Jun 13, 2007 13:56:48 GMT -5
I am just so discouraged lately and its becoming harder and harder to not feel completley overwhelmed at times. I have another ultrasound scheduled this Friday for polyps and cysts before I schedule my 2nd laparoscopy to excise some of the endo away. I have had endo since I was diagnosed with it by means of a laproscopy as a teenager and I am now 36.
I just feel so alone sometimes in that nobody around me understands or maybe they just don't WANT to understand the amount of pain I am in and how uncomfortable and debilitating this disease can be.
My mom passed when I was young so it was just me and my dad growing up. When I see him, he will ask when Im going in for surgery, how am I feeling, ect. But when I try to give him any kind of answer besides the stock answer of "Im okay, the surgery is no big deal" he makes me feel like the endo is my fault. Like it is something I brought upon myself because "you'r not drinking enough water".
I've noticed as Ive gotten older, the endo has progressivly gotten worse and my periods last longer now. Trying to talk to my husband about it is not much better.
Just this morning at 4am I was silently crying because I didnt want to wake my husband. The pain was so bad, and it felt like labor pains in my lower back and upper thighs. He woke up when I got out of bed to get my heating pad and pain medication. He told me to take a "Gas-X" pill as that would probably help.
I dont know why that should upset me so much but it did. I DO NOT have gas and for him to suggest that just made me feel like he was trivializing the pain I was going through. He also gets upset when I take off of work due to the endo which has become more frequent now. He wont come out and say he is upset but he gets very off-standish and passive aggressive.
We live in Illinois and are taking our two kids to the Wisconsin Dells for three days at the end of the month. On our return trip to Illinois, after packing up the car and the kids, he fully expects me to travel 4+ hours in the car and then head off to a 9+ hour day at work within an hour of us arriving back home.
I dont know if he is being insensitive or If Im just being selfish.
I also find myself becoming increasingly frustrated at the medical community. My doctor and gyno keep pushing for me to have a full hysterectomy. I just wish there was a better answer rather than cutting out my organs. I dont think the mens community would be so accepting if they had prostate pain or whatever and the stock answer they always received from their doctor was "we will just cut your testicles off". Or if they were told..."here, take this pill. Your voice may change and you may start to grow breasts but it might help with the pain".
Sorry for rambling, and thanks for letting me vent.
I just feel so alone sometimes in that nobody around me understands or maybe they just don't WANT to understand the amount of pain I am in and how uncomfortable and debilitating this disease can be.
My mom passed when I was young so it was just me and my dad growing up. When I see him, he will ask when Im going in for surgery, how am I feeling, ect. But when I try to give him any kind of answer besides the stock answer of "Im okay, the surgery is no big deal" he makes me feel like the endo is my fault. Like it is something I brought upon myself because "you'r not drinking enough water".
I've noticed as Ive gotten older, the endo has progressivly gotten worse and my periods last longer now. Trying to talk to my husband about it is not much better.
Just this morning at 4am I was silently crying because I didnt want to wake my husband. The pain was so bad, and it felt like labor pains in my lower back and upper thighs. He woke up when I got out of bed to get my heating pad and pain medication. He told me to take a "Gas-X" pill as that would probably help.
I dont know why that should upset me so much but it did. I DO NOT have gas and for him to suggest that just made me feel like he was trivializing the pain I was going through. He also gets upset when I take off of work due to the endo which has become more frequent now. He wont come out and say he is upset but he gets very off-standish and passive aggressive.
We live in Illinois and are taking our two kids to the Wisconsin Dells for three days at the end of the month. On our return trip to Illinois, after packing up the car and the kids, he fully expects me to travel 4+ hours in the car and then head off to a 9+ hour day at work within an hour of us arriving back home.
I dont know if he is being insensitive or If Im just being selfish.
I also find myself becoming increasingly frustrated at the medical community. My doctor and gyno keep pushing for me to have a full hysterectomy. I just wish there was a better answer rather than cutting out my organs. I dont think the mens community would be so accepting if they had prostate pain or whatever and the stock answer they always received from their doctor was "we will just cut your testicles off". Or if they were told..."here, take this pill. Your voice may change and you may start to grow breasts but it might help with the pain".
Sorry for rambling, and thanks for letting me vent.