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Post by ouchy on Jun 11, 2007 16:58:53 GMT -5
Yah. That's where the other therapies like dilators, massagers, and Lidocaine come in. I promise you there are ways around the pain, gemini!
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Post by cherry on Jun 11, 2007 20:15:30 GMT -5
Gemini your GP should have spoken to you about this I think! The tensing thing might be what's hurting you so much! It sounds like you could benefit from a range of different things at once and don't believe you can't get past it, you absolutely can! The one time I had pain it was so bad that I literally had to stop myself from screaming as I got up off the bed 10 minutes later. It's very hard to picture it not happening again. The next time after I had a glass of wine, and we took things very slowly and I was ok. Incidentally all that romance and the gentleness etc was the most beautiful thing ever Try a nice romantic evening with a nice warm bath, candles etc Those dilators ouchy mentioned, I know a few women who had problems not relating to endo that found the dilators fantastic. One was a young woman who couldn't consummate her marriage until a few months after, cos she had vaginismus, she was devastated but it's sorted now. It was weird cos they had a physical relationship but stopped before the wedding, and it got really distressing for them both, the wedding night ended in tears all round. Going back to the toys, if you were to use a vibrator that doesn't have to go in the vagina and isn't phallic shaped, that might be better. There's something called a knicker critter which is external (it's ann summers) www.annsummers.com/single.asp?gid=7&cat=23&pid=2751Definitely try it I've heard good things xx
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Post by zzerebecki on Jun 12, 2007 15:30:27 GMT -5
My husband and i did the 'deed' 4 days ago and im still in agony. i hate it , it makes me feel usless. i know there is other ways but there nothing like the real thing.
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Post by ouchy on Jun 12, 2007 15:43:14 GMT -5
zzerebecki, have you tried any ways to work around the pain and still have sex?
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Post by zzerebecki on Jul 11, 2007 15:04:34 GMT -5
sorry didnt reply sooner been on holiday I have tryed all sorts. im in conversation at the moment with my gyne about it, its putting a strain on my relationship.
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Post by cherry on Aug 4, 2007 3:43:53 GMT -5
If anyone has not tried this yet, I tried spooning while in a bit of general pain, and it was lovely. No pain, very intimate and no work for me hahaha
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Post by sarahc on Oct 5, 2007 10:12:10 GMT -5
where can you get lidocaine? is this something that your doctor has to prescribe? I've never had pain-free sex. I can still have orgasms, but there is always pain deep in my pelvis, around my uterus. I had a lap 4 years ago, didn't help. I was put on lupron and depo provera (evil, evil drugs!) which killed my sex drive. my libido is coming back a bit, but sadly i haven't had sex in 4 years. I find myself very reluctant to get into a new relationship, having to explain my situation, not being able to have normal sex. i'm young and want to enjoy my sex life like my friends do!
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Post by ouchy on Oct 5, 2007 10:20:03 GMT -5
In the U.S., it is only available with a prescription.
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Post by sarahc on Oct 7, 2007 17:50:09 GMT -5
thanks ouchy! i have an appointment in a few weeks, i will ask the doctor
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Post by ouchy on Oct 7, 2007 19:17:16 GMT -5
Some doctors might be reluctant to try it. Basically, just TELL the doctor that you want a prescription for it.
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Post by pickles on Oct 25, 2007 9:20:20 GMT -5
Typically I get pain near my rectum like its too deep or he is poking something- no laughing, I know. A position we've found that works well is if I am on my side with my knees up, and he is on his stomach, similar to mission style. For some reason it seems to lesson the pain. I can move my legs around further up or one or the other to make it feel better if its not quite right.
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Post by Nari on Oct 30, 2007 19:19:08 GMT -5
I have tried many different positions to help find comfort. Seems to help. Along of course with Ouchy's Olive Oil suggestion, which works wonderfully for vaginal dryness... *makes it more....uh... erotic too* *BLUSH*
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Post by tfaith on Oct 31, 2007 10:39:11 GMT -5
i feel so bad about this topic....i haven't had sex in almost a year, because of the pain during. i feel horrible, my boyfriend thinks that i am just not attracted to him at all and i can tell it drives him crazy...my girlfriends don't believe me when i tell them how long it's been!
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Post by kb on Oct 31, 2007 22:38:17 GMT -5
Communication is the key, u need to tell him why ur not keen, try and describe to him what it feels like for u, tell him its impossible for u to enjoy it, but u still need love and affection. Can replace it with cuddles, back massages, oral sex is still pretty damn good (can be better), virgin sex. Try to stop using the term sex only for when its actual penetration, and use it for all forms of sex, once u get used to ur sex life being the other alternatives more often than not, will feel as if u do have a sex life again. Most men treat sex as a sign of love, so u just need to make him feel his still loved, and get into the other options.
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Post by gemini on Nov 16, 2007 17:42:04 GMT -5
Even after surgery i still get pain after we've had sex..sometimes this can last for 2 days..! To tell you the truth i still can't orgasm..i get no feeling when he penetrates..often feel pain in my rectum ! My husband is very caring and tries not to hurt me by moving slowly inside of me. I know he's a man and has his desires and needs ! I know i can't give these to him..the only reason that i go ahead with it is so that maybe..."MAYBE" i might fall pregnant this time round !
But after 8 years of never having an orgasm ..pain and tears and no BABY ..it's getting very difficult for me to ....sorry ! i dun think i can talk abt it anymore !
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