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Post by cherry on May 19, 2007 5:47:25 GMT -5
Hi ladies, just to follow on from the stuff touched on in ouchy's sex toy thread, I thought it'd be useful to share tips on how to work around pain during intercourse. Having endo in the Pouch of Douglas (cul de sac, area behind the uterus and vagina) is a big contributor but obviously thats not the only case in which you can experience pain during intimate moments with your partner. This can be about the use of sex toys, using aids to help 'stretch out' the vagina before penetration, and relaxation beforehand. Even if penetrative sex is not an option, it is useful to explore other ways to maintain a physical relationship. Please note that tips and questions are welcome from all members, it is not by any means restricted to those of us with male partners xx
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Post by ouchy on May 19, 2007 9:13:21 GMT -5
I recommend the remedies (possibly in combination with each other) as follow: Lidocaine to numb both the vestibule and vagina--don't worry! Doesn't prevent orgasm or numb your partner! Olive oil as a lubricant--it's natural, and if you get the extra-virgin olive oil (first cold press), it has vitamin E and other vitamins and minerals. It's the best lubricant I have found--and it doesn't go dry or get sticky like all the commercial ones! Glass dilators --tiny ones! (You can get them like 3 inches (7.5 cm) in length) to stretch out, relax, massage the vagina, and aid in lubrication, making intercourse a LOT less painful. Glass also does not harbor bacteria, and it warms to body temperature. " Virgin sex." If none of the above are options, basically, "virgin sex" is sex without penetration. Both people are usually able to achieve orgasm in this way as well (my experience and those of my friends). Basically, the man is on top with penis sandwiched between both his stomach and female's stomach. He then thrusts back and forth, which stimulates the clitoris and vulva. To me, this feels a LOT better than painful, penetrative sex. Hope this helps someone!
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Post by painpainpain on May 19, 2007 11:30:23 GMT -5
Never even thought about olive oil...I have some in my cupboard!! No one's going to want to eat hear if they find out what we're using the olive oil for!! lol
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Post by ouchy on May 19, 2007 11:54:49 GMT -5
LOL. I bought a decorative, small bottle of the oil. I keep it by the bed. I think people just think I collected a dark glass bottle that matches my night stands.
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Post by gemini on May 19, 2007 16:37:12 GMT -5
Thanks for the tips girlz..wot a coincidence that u start it on the day after i have had the most painful sex and am still in pain many hours later. The thing is that i can feel the penetration but once it goes inside it's pain..i am so sore inside. I actually feel my organs move and the pain shoots to both sides of my pelvic area. To tell you the truth i have never climaxed as i dun get any good feeling ! Gosh wot am i saying..sorry i need to get this bad feeling off my chest.
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Post by ouchy on May 19, 2007 16:55:16 GMT -5
It's okay. I know exactly what you mean. **Hugs**
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Post by zzerebecki on May 20, 2007 15:48:25 GMT -5
i've tryed the 'virgin sex' many times as any form of sex leaves me in so much pain. iam really lucky to have a husband who understands. gemini question for you. Im the same, how do you manage to have a healthy sex life when it hurts so much. sorry this is personal but you views would be appriciated!!!!
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Post by zzerebecki on May 20, 2007 15:50:43 GMT -5
sorry not just gemini for the above question anybody who can relate. sorry im sooooo rude!!!!
i know we are all in the same boat!!!
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Post by cherry on May 20, 2007 16:07:24 GMT -5
I think, for anyone having big problems with penetration, sex toys would be a massive help. I personally don't like them inside, cos erm a big piece of plastic is no substitute for the real thing no matter what anyone says. But using a toy for clitoral stimulation, maybe working you way in eventually, could be a big help. It can definitely help in the lead up to penetration, for both partners. If you climax before penetration, that may also be a big help cos the body undergoes big changes with orgasm. Natural lube is one of them . Plus you're more receptive. It is something I would definitely recommend. And who is gonna say no to more foreplay xx
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Post by cherry on May 20, 2007 16:09:08 GMT -5
Forgot to add, it is something that you could try alone first, so that you know exactly what works, what might hurt etc, so that when you try it with your partner you both have more fun xx
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Post by zzerebecki on May 20, 2007 16:15:27 GMT -5
thanks cherry, have never used a sex toy before( im such a prude) but now i may just have to buy one. i agree with you about the plastic though.
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Post by cherry on May 20, 2007 16:26:58 GMT -5
Oh god it sounds so smutty, but the simplest little thing like just something that vibrates can make a great difference. You won't catch me near a rampant rabbit! Sometimes when you've had so much pain before it's hard to do anything except to expect more pain. So it's as much about training yourself out of that as it is about finding something that works. If you go to a shop, and you're comfortable about talking to someone about it, discuss it with an assistant there. They are trained to talk the leg off a donkey about sex and probably come across a lot of people who are looking for assistance because of various problems. Even though I don't shop there, Ann Summers assistants are always really nice (except in Birmingham, the shop in the Bull Ring is miserable!) Woo I bet they seen and heard of some crazy things so don't be embarrassed to ask x
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Post by gemini on May 20, 2007 16:35:52 GMT -5
gemini question for you. Im the same, how do you manage to have a healthy sex life when it hurts so much. sorry this is personal but you views would be appriciated!!!! Theres no need to apologise If you call 4x since the year started as being healthy..then i've answered your question.
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Post by ouchy on May 20, 2007 19:11:45 GMT -5
Theres no need to apologise If you call 4x since the year started as being healthy..then i've answered your question. I'm shocked that they put you on the IVF list with only having sex less than 1x per month (when that isn't even timed intercourse)--did they ask you about that before agreeing that IVF is the way to go? Usually, I don't think IVF is considered an alternative to painful sex to achieve pregnancy. If they knew the frequency of your intercourse, you'd think they'd recommend IUI first!
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Post by gemini on May 22, 2007 5:25:02 GMT -5
Yes they know..the reason being the pain i am in whilst having sex and the 3-4 days after it aswell. My husband has a low count which is another reason for putting me on the list. Ouchy dun forget i have been trying for 8 years. During the first year or so of my marriage it was abt 3-4x a week. It's only been about a year where i have been in more pain than ever before and thats why we don't do it as often as we should be. The pain in the earlier years i could tolerate, this pain ..i can't
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