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Post by 1234 on Nov 11, 2011 17:35:38 GMT -5
So I made a REALLY hard decision yesterday: I quit the shop, for the winter months, to try to get a handle on the pain. I just couldn't do it. I spent my lunch break yesterday crying in the rain by the Potomac river (very classy of me), trying to make the decision, but I knew it was already made. I actually blacked out yesterday in the shop, from the pain, and you can't have mechanics blacking out. I'm really heartbroken about it. I love working in the shop, and would love to do it full time, but I've known I can't do that. Because I'm small and don't have that much upper body strength, I have to use my abdomen a lot--and it's hard; on bad days, it's really really hard.
I'm starting to get back in the fighting saddle again today. At the moment I still feel confident in what I'm trying, and I hope that in the spring I'll be back in the apron and covered in grease. But, I'm bummed. I've also never quit anything.
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Post by Karen on Nov 11, 2011 19:06:35 GMT -5
Aw, I'm sorry your body forced you to quit, but in the long run, I have no doubt that you'll be back at it. Sometimes we need breaks, no matter how much we don't want to. When's your last day? Was your boss ok with it? And scary that you blacked out! Period?
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Post by JC on Nov 11, 2011 19:20:30 GMT -5
Awww I'm so sorry!!! This is so sad!!!
I was thinking, maybe we can find a good D.O. in the area to give you some osteopathic manipulative treatment. I don't think anyone has tried going to a D.O. for their pain before. I bet it would work!
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Post by JC on Nov 11, 2011 19:23:39 GMT -5
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Post by semicolon on Nov 11, 2011 20:46:54 GMT -5
So sorry, Rust. That must have been so difficult to decide, but it sounds like your body made the decision for you (unfortunately). And you're not quitting, you are taking a break to figure it all out. Hugs (and a box of tissues if you need them)!
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Post by painttheseconds on Nov 12, 2011 1:29:33 GMT -5
I'm so sorry Kristin. I hate when pain gets in the way of the things we really love doing. I hope this time away will be beneficial. Big hugs to you.
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Post by hellsbells on Nov 12, 2011 5:36:54 GMT -5
I don't think of this as quitting - I think you're being incredibly strong in making this decision because it's so hard. You need to put your health first x
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Post by 1234 on Nov 12, 2011 9:38:44 GMT -5
Thanks you all. It is really incredible to have a group of women who understand what this disease is like. I've already mostly used a full box of tissues, I think, and am doing better. Fortunately, I moved from sobbing by the Potomac river in cold rain and wind to sobbing at home. The funny thing about a city is that there are so many wackos hanging out by the river, a greasy redhead in a bike helmet sobbing with the hobos doesn't really stand out . The logistics of it work out well. Hours go down in bike shops in the winter. All these fair weather cyclists: can't explain them! But one of my co mechanics was really happy to get the extra hours, so I'm done, as of two days ago. The weird thing is, I'm not even on my period. I'm still on pre-period, and it's been a really horrible 4 days now. My temperature keeps skyrocketing, and I had the horrible thought this morning that I might be pregnant. What a cruel joke THAT would be. But, I know what being pregnant feels like and I don't feel like that--just a paranoia. but what caused the blackout was tightening teh fixed cup on the installation of a bottom bracket. the fixed cup has to be put on with A LOT of force--they are not ever to move--and the bottom bracket is the axle/bearing assembly that is the central point of the bike (the cranks/pedals attach to it). So you have to use the BAW (big ass wrench)--a mammoth adjustable wrench that comes up to my boobs--and haul as hard as you can. I was already having a horrible day, and that effort just made the pain unbearable, and out I went. But holding a BAW is NOT the time to black out. Plus, it frightens the customers. That doctor's reviews do look pretty incredible. Thanks for lookign that up, Jenaya. I'm unsure what I would say going in though: Hi, I'm in a lot of pain; I don't want to take hormones; do you have any ideas? What would you recommend? I know it sounds crazy, but I do still have faith in the acupuncture. it's just not going to be quick. But I'm really hoping that. 4 months from now, I'm a different person. And then I can start working on other aspects of the pain and my health. And maybe even take up a BAW again.
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Post by JC on Nov 12, 2011 16:02:38 GMT -5
That doctor is a D.O. so you could totally say that you don't want to take drugs and they'd probably agree with you. D.O.'s are the doctors that use their hands-on manipulative treatment to treat chronic pain. This Wednesday I'm meeting two D.O.s from Johns Hopkins that practice OMM to treat chronic pain... wanna come along? They are coming to the University of Maryland to talk to pre-D.O. students. Or maybe I can ask them what they would do for you and then maybe they could be an option too! Just something to keep in mind if you decide you want to try something different.
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Post by hannahjex on Nov 13, 2011 7:50:38 GMT -5
I'm so sorry, Kristin. As the others have said, don't think of it as quitting. You're taking the break that your body needs to figure things out and get your health back on track. I've no doubt you'll be back on form and fighting fit soon enough. xx
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Post by 1234 on Nov 13, 2011 9:30:30 GMT -5
Thanks, Jenaya! It sounds really interesting, and would be great to see you, but I don't want to horn in on a career presentation for students. Plus I have an obligatory, after-work happy hour on Wednesday. I hate these things, but enough people are going that I feel like I really should. Ugh. I will add that DO to my list of things to try though. After acupuncture, I still have the PPT. I stopped it b/c I couldn't handle anything in addition to the acupuncture, particularly at first, and b/c the last time I went REALLY hurt. I was in a lot of pain for a couple of days afterwards. But it does look like an interesting idea to walk in and say "no pain pills, no hormones--what ya got?"
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Post by danniv on Nov 13, 2011 9:44:36 GMT -5
Im Really sorry. Perhaps this break will really help you, i hope it does. Chin up (easier said than done).
x
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