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Post by orchidlily2222 on Aug 10, 2011 18:26:30 GMT -5
So, Just got back from the doctor. Had my last lap in March and it seems there is a 6cm endometrioma filling up my left ovary and the usual 2.5-3cm one on the right side. 6 months after surgery, my brief window I thought I might conceive and silly me with my period a week late I thought maybe there was the slimmest chance it was for good reasons; although the increasing unbearable pain over the last two days said otherwise. That was probably why I went to the dr. I cant remember last time I got good news from a gyno or just neutral news. So surgery again within the month, time off work (I can't remember the last time or even the last year all my leave didn't go to surgeries and endo days off--one day I will take a vacation). I'm just sad and angry and out of might to fight and believe their might be a pregnancy for me on the other side of this surgery. I just don;t know how. Sorry. I needed to vent into the abyss. Anyone else out there feeling like me? Or come out on the other side of feeling like me? I really hate my endo today--more than ever. Today I am feeling like it won . Teresa
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Post by JC on Aug 10, 2011 19:37:10 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you are feeling down! This disease is just so awful. So another surgery .... are they going to do anything else after the surgery our are you going to try to conceive right after?
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with fertility. There are so many women out there that are struggling with you. Some of them have had some success even after years of trying. I don't think it's totally hopeless. Try to stay positive and hope for the best! I'll be sending you some good vibes. Keep us updated!
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Post by Karen on Aug 11, 2011 6:29:39 GMT -5
Aw, I'm sorry to hear you've got more bad news. I have to ask, though - did they just drain the endometrioma during your last lap(s), or did they actually remove it? Several members have had not so good luck with just draining an endometrioma - they tend to re-fill. Which also leads me to this - have you gotten a second opinion from another surgeon? How many laps have you had? Might be a good time to see an endo specialist if you're not already! Us endo girls need some extra attention, particularly during surgery.
Sending hope to your future!
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Post by maverickrose on Aug 11, 2011 7:28:52 GMT -5
Sorry to hear about your bad endo day... and another lap so soon. Hoping after this next lap you'll be able to get pregnant!
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Post by orchidlily2222 on Aug 11, 2011 23:14:23 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for the support! I really appreciate it and needed it this week. Jenaya: I am going to try to get pregnant right after this surgery--that is what we tried after the March surgery but I am guessing this monster cyst has probably be inhibiting the process for some time. I can only have some hope from those who have a chance after years of trying. My biggest fear is that within years not much of my reproductive system will be left . Karen: I thought the surgeon removed the cyst but with this extreme growth in such a rapid time now I am thinking he just drained it. I actually just changed doctors (although everyone I have seen since my I got my endo diagnosed--well, self diagnosed and then found a specialist for the lap--has been an endo specialist) as i felt that my surgeon/dr from the last two surgeries was a little too much ego and patient apathetic and after this last surgery that seemed to sort of half-a*s deal with the cyst kind of was a last attempt with him. The new dr I saw yesterday seemed patient-centered, informed, and knew what he was talking about as well as listened to what I said--so hard to find that especially in endo care it seems. He was the one who suggested the last dr probably hadn't removed the cyst or at least all of it--or that it was a possible reason why it was so big so fast. He mentioned something too that I had never heard that if doctors dont do hsg's post surgery there can be issues that are there/crop up post surgery the doctor won't know about. My other fear is there is more going on in there than just the cystic factor as my period is a week late and still no where in sight--the doctor is having a blood hcg test done because he says there is also the possibility of an ectopic as well. Maverickrose: thanks for your support--I am hoping so much that I can get pregnant after this surgery. I am only hoping that the lack of adequate surgery is the reason for the fact that trying the last 5 months has been unsuccessful--hoping that if I am adeptly cleaned out this time I will stand a chance . Thank you everyone--hopefully I can schedule the surgery soon (played phone tag today with the scheduler) because after the transvaginal ultrasound and internal exam yesterday my pain is just exponential increasing by the day--not sure I can manage this level and function at work for too long. I will let you all know how it progresses and thank you again for your support. It is so hard to explain the endo journey to those not in it. Teresa
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Post by Karen on Aug 12, 2011 5:50:10 GMT -5
Ah, good, glad you have a new doc!! I'm sure that makes you feel a bit better to have a new set of eyes.
If you're TTC, are you tempting? If you're not, it might give you that extra boost to pointing the right days.
Good luck, we'll be thinking of you!
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Post by orchidlily2222 on Aug 12, 2011 7:40:33 GMT -5
Thanks Karen. It does feel good to have a new set of eyes for sure--especially knowing how limited the success was from the last surgery and really how capricious the last doctor has always been about the condition and then to be sloppy on top of it--I guess the best doctors are not always at the most renowned institutions (the hospital I went to is nationally known for its specialists but not specifically for endo). I prefer the personal efforts of people that care over larger institutions full of egos in the end anyway--here's hoping I've found my right guy for that. I haven't been temping but I definitely should start--I was using opks to know the range of the right day and that was seeming pretty accurate and the last month used preseed. The temping thing seemed a little intimidating to me with charting and the science of it all although I know ultimately it is just being aware of raises and dips. After this next surgery though I definitely want to give it the best shot I have because I feel like much longer and the organs are going to be diminishing--already have scar tissue from previous blockages in both tubes and this new larger cyst the doctor thinks may damage the ovary and require some ovary repair to save it. I always joke, in that not funny way just to get through it, I got crappy parts with a limited warrantee . This body is a gut job .
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Post by italialynn on Aug 12, 2011 7:56:04 GMT -5
Hey girl - I won't delve too much into my situation, but I can't stress enough to have your tubes flushed (chromotubation) during your lap. I see you mentioned that both of your tubes have been blocked...that might be your culprit into not conceiving! I've gone through 3 laps and TTC for 6 years. My last lap was in April, both tubes were blocked and my doc managed to get one open. Lo and behold, I got pregnant in May for the first time EVER. I'm now 15 weeks. I was told by every doctor that I'd have a minimal chance of conceiving on my own. IT CAN HAPPEN. I'm proof!
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Post by orchidlily2222 on Aug 12, 2011 16:43:19 GMT -5
italialynn: thanks for the feedback--and congrats on your pregnancy! I am so glad to hear that! I did have my tubes flushed in during the last lap--at that time they were clear (the surgery was to clear one blocked tube and deal with cysts in both ovaries--half the size of my 6cm behemoth this time but big enough to need removal). I didn't, however, have an hsg to check the tubes still being clear in any surgery follow up which is what I guess my new doctor says is a good follow-up practice. Who knows its half surgeon, half timing, and a dash of miracle I guess ....this whole baby making thing.
I am so happy to hear that after such a long journey you had a good outcome--it does give me hope and I am so glad for you!
ps; your farm looks lovely--I work with horses out in southeast florida--they are so healing to be around especially when I'm feeling low.
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Post by Karen on Aug 12, 2011 16:49:01 GMT -5
Yeah, we're all beaming about Talia's success story! Hopefully in the near future, Teresa, we'll be thrilled about your own.
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Post by orchidlily2222 on Aug 12, 2011 22:08:57 GMT -5
Thanks, Karen. I would love to be an against all odds success story . Hoping, hoping, hoping.
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Post by poodlemom on Feb 18, 2012 19:40:26 GMT -5
Hi Teresa, I can relate to what you're going through. I had a laparotomy, yes they cut my tummy open, last May. I had my endometrioma removed as it was wrapped around my intestines. The dr fully removed my cyst. It came back within 2 months. Both of my tubes are now blocked. I did IVF in September and got pregnant but miscarried early on. I am currently doing a frozen cycle and praying it works. Because now I have 2 endometriomas. One on each ovary. My dr said if we do surgery again, I will lose one or both of my ovaries and need a bowel resection. I just started weaning off of the gluten and began acupuncture and looking into other alternative methods. I pray we both get pregnant soon!!! Good luck with your surgery. Sending healing thoughts, Melanie
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Post by hellsbells on Feb 19, 2012 13:40:05 GMT -5
Melanie my friend got preggers with twins from a cycle of a frozen embryo(s) going back in. Stay positive!
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Post by semicolon on Feb 20, 2012 19:58:12 GMT -5
So I got my period, even though we had a good cycle of trying and semi-good news on the Hsg, so in a fit of frustration I signed up for a half marathon! I had been heming and hawing because while I don't want to do anything to mess our chances, deep down my gut says insides may not be hospitable and I'm tired of feeling like my life is on hold. This will be our 5th half marathon, the last one was right in the middle of figuring out what was wrong with my colon (running with a stricture, oh yeah!), only did a few races last year between surgeries last year.
I need to make a follow up with my obgyn for follow up and I'll mention the race and get is opinion. I don't want to sound like I am not committed to TTC, and I know running can affect that, but I feel like I need other things going on too. Does this sound crazy? Btw, I had some really bad pain last night and heavy flow at work today, very fed up with my uterus.
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Post by Karen on Feb 20, 2012 21:33:24 GMT -5
I'm sorry things didn't work out for you this month. Well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I totally get how you wouldn't want to put your life on hold while you're TTC! I'm sure your body and spirit could use a break from the trying and thinking about it. A half marathon sounds like a good distraction!
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