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Post by pretty on Jul 2, 2011 15:02:57 GMT -5
ok update: on our vacation and feeling pretty good. I was bummed because we sort of couldn't get to Madison to see Karen but she isn't mad so I'm happy (thank god for nice rational friends right?) we are in Green Bay now, having a really relaxing fun time with mellow friends. I got a call from Dr. Mosbrucker's office day before yesterday to 'schedule' a procedure with her. I take this to mean that Dr M saw my first ultrasound results and wants to take the ovary out - but I called back and just said I'm on vacation until Tuesday, so I need to get home and figure out the details then I'll call and schedule whateverneeds to happen. Is it wierd looking forward to more surgery? I feel wierd since I'm sort of excited about it. I think if that bad ovary comes out and I do a couple more things with my NP and my health I might get a coupld years of peace out of the deal. I really have lost a lot of my endo symptoms, the only fretful thing is this endometrioma-ovary. anyways wanted to just check in, since I'm near a computer for a few. Hoping all my girls are doing well, back in a couple days. I jsut logged on to check on our favorite Jenaya! Love you all.... Pretty (cheesehead in Green Bay!)
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Post by Karen on Jul 2, 2011 17:53:31 GMT -5
Hey, Pretty, hope you're enjoying GB and are getting your fill of cheese curds, even if they aren't on the endo diet! I get what you're saying about wanting the one thing out that's causing you grief. I get it. I hope your doctor has a good plan in place for you and you're able to get things taken care of soon!
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Post by painttheseconds on Jul 3, 2011 0:55:02 GMT -5
Good to hear from you pretty. I'm glad you are feeling good and able to enjoy your vacation.
Hope the Dr. has you in good hands and that everything gets taken care of.
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Post by hannahjex on Jul 4, 2011 14:02:53 GMT -5
Glad you're enjoying your trip, Pretty! I completely understand you looking forward to the op. Once it's out of the way, you can move forward and be done with the endometriomas. xx
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Post by pretty on Jul 7, 2011 12:04:48 GMT -5
ok back at work, just scheduled surgery for August 9th in Tacoma. YAY. getting a little stressed about money and such but this time I'm just going by myself. If warren wants to be there for the surgery itself that's fine but he's too stressful to hang out with under those circumstances and I can't have stress. I am looking on this as a much needed vacation from stress. And I am working really hard on wrapping up my final 3 goals: quit smoking ENTIRELY, give up sugar, and stop with the caffiene.
THe great news is my aunt Janet just told me her best friend in the world lives in Tacoma, so I think I will now have a place to stay for a couple days right after surgery. Then I hope my friend Liz will come up from Portland and come get me for a couple days. I have to stay down there a week so I can have a follow up with the doctor after... it's just so dang expensive. We still haven't even paid our hospital bill from last october and now I'm about to be further in debt. Warren is not super supportive since he thinks well if they're just taking out an ovary what's the big deal, couldn't we just do it here? However I feel like whatever it's my ovary and if my insurance covers one of the top endo specialists available, who knows my case and knows exactly where the endo was before and has pictures and all that, I would be a fool to let a general surgeon chop me open when I have the opportunity to have a really skilled ENDO surgeon do it for me.
The final straw today was seeing my best friend steffie has had her second baby. I'm so happy for her she went through a whole lot to get there but it sort of broke my heart. damn cute little bastards lol! argh.
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Post by painttheseconds on Jul 7, 2011 12:29:56 GMT -5
I'm glad that you have your surgery scheduled. Hopefully that will give you some relief from all that you've been experiencing. You're right. It would be ridiculous not for you too see one of the top endo specialists who knows your case.
If I lived closer. I would come and take care of you for awhile after surgery. Hang in there pretty. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Post by pretty on Jul 7, 2011 15:46:02 GMT -5
Thanks Nicolle! isn't it great having all these shoulders to cry on? don't know what I'd do without y'all....
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Post by 1234 on Jul 8, 2011 9:20:58 GMT -5
Pretty, your decisions sound so sensible. Hopefully W will come round soon!
Sending you love and support on the cigarette kicking attempt. I used to smoke like a chimney (dancers live on cigarettes and diet coke), and have "quit" for 8 years or so now. I put it in quotes because redneck that I am, I occasionally have a black n mild cigar while camping (3 - 4 times a year). And, I smoke when I'm in eastern europe for work. They have these tiny thin feminine cigarettes that just kill me.
With your determination and spunk though, I know you can beat it. Rooting for you!
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Post by pretty on Jul 8, 2011 11:21:04 GMT -5
I am letting W have his freak out. I keep examining my reasons but it comes down to this: If someone is going to be monkeying about with my precious yet diseased left ovary, that person needs to be the TOP PERSON in that area. Hands down. I asked myself why do I have this extremely 'good' health insurance, why did I find this specialist, why did I even get this job, if I can't use the gift of expertise and skill that my doc has in spades? I have to explain again that I am super scared to have anybody EXCEPT Dr. M do it. What if they looked in there and EVERYTHING was covered with endo? I DONT want to wake up with NO UTERUS. I don't want a TH. I just want one little ovary to come out. I have a lot of work to do to try and cure myself of endo and I still want to have both ovaries, but hey I'll let one go and hope that we can maybe do IVF or what have you. It's crazy how you change over time, I swore I never would take BCP again but just did 3 weeks of fake progesterone! I really have huge issues with Hyst, but here I am scheduling my ovary to come out. And I SWORE I wouldn't want IVF or ANY assistance conceiving.... and hey what is on my mind? fertility treatments! so my life is changing bit by bit sort of out of my control and I'm ok with all of it it's just mindblowing... anyhow feeling pretty good about this today. It sure is nice to have this board to dump all this stuff. I don't know what women do without an outlet!
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Post by Karen on Jul 9, 2011 8:59:30 GMT -5
Makes perfect sense to me!
I think if W had girly parts, he'd be a bit more understanding. It'd be like telling him he'd have to have one of his balls removed, and there *may* be a chance he'd wake up without a penis, too... But the chances of that would be much less likely if he went under the knife with a ball and penis specialist than with a general 'ol surgeon that takes an appendix or fixes a heart on a more regular basis and would have a much greater chance of saying 'this penis can't be saved, let's just lob it off.'
Hoping he comes around, and if he doesn't, you at least don't feel guilty for having your needs satisfied, even if it's at a higher cost than going to the local guy.
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Post by cloudyrain on Jul 9, 2011 10:49:49 GMT -5
You tell him! You wouldn't take a Mercedes to a scrap man for a service, so you and your bits deserve the best xxx
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Post by pretty on Jul 14, 2011 13:28:31 GMT -5
Ok update.
Dr M's office just called to ask if I would move the surgery date from August 9 to August 5, because due to my history etc doc wants to do robotic again rather than regular lap.
I had just submitted the FMLA paperwork and had it approved. Now super, super stressed. Also had a friend signed up to come with me from M-th with surgery on tuesday - but if surgery is friday, that friend can't go. So have called another friend to meet me in Tacoma on the morning of the 5th and stay with me during surgery and then drive me down to Portland a few days later to stay with another friend through the 17th, which is my post-op appointment. sigh. I had it all almost sorted out and now it's all up in the air again!
Concerns: 1. Warren, my Mom both not able to go. War HAS to be at work or will lose job. Mom going on long-planned trip back east with elderly relatives. Can't change (but she would if I ask her).
2. Really concerned with job, money, etc. Have asked W to ask his dad for a loan. Still waiting to hear the result of that. may go to bank for loan instead. SUCKS!~
3. Really concerned with marriage problem of constant fighting, bad moods, bad communication, and negative b.s. that seems to go along with financial and other hardships. Wishing husband could be supportive more than 25% of the time. Really, really stressed.
4. Wondering about long-term plan. Can I keep my job. Can I ever be a parent. Is this marriage any good for me? How will I pay for all this. Who is going to be there when I wake up? Am I going to need surgery every 6 months, forever? AAAAAH!
This is getting to me, a LOT. Damn endo!
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Post by JC on Jul 14, 2011 14:07:54 GMT -5
Aw Pretty this sounds so hard. I hate how the financial part of this has to get in the way of being healthy. It's such bullsh*t. I think the money thing is probably really getting to your husband to the point where he can't even be supportive. I feel bad that your husband and your mom can't be there for you. Do you think you'll be ok with your friends helping you? This sounds really tough. I know how expensive surgeries can be. We're hitting the $2000 mark here soon with my most recent surgery and they bills are still rolling in. It's so stressful and it takes its toll out on a marriage. It's not your fault and you didn't ask for all this. I think what you need most is support. Since you got approved with the FMLA, why is there a concern for keeping your job? Also have you ever considered marriage counseling? I know money is tight and probably low on priority with health costs, but marriage counseling really saved my marriage. I wish I could do more to help. It sounds like this surgery is extremely stressful. I'm so sorry! I wish you could just focus on health and getting better without all this other sh*t to deal with.
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Post by pretty on Jul 14, 2011 14:56:02 GMT -5
Thanks Jenaya! feel like dumping husband and just taking care of me. So hard trying to show him how to be kind and gentle. waste of time feels like! AAAh thanks for your note, I know you guys get all this, just hard to sort it out!
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Post by Karen on Jul 14, 2011 18:43:04 GMT -5
Pretty, I'm sorry you have so much on your mind. You're super smart and resourceful, though, and will find a way to make it all work. Can you ask your doc for a discount or payment plan? Can you ask her to keep the original date? I think even getting one of those stresses off your plate will feel like a huge relief. In the meantime, sending you big hugs and some calm about it all!
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