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Post by angelidimusica on Apr 26, 2011 14:32:38 GMT -5
I've only been diagnosed with Endo for about a month, and I'm still kind of freaking out about it.
My question to you ladies: My boyfriend and I desperately want to get pregnant. We planned on it eventually, but with everything we're finding out about my lady bits (including the fact that it seems fertility decreases with age, at least in the women in my family), we're considering just going for the gold now. We both have good jobs, are 24 and 26, and have wonderful support systems.
I need advice, a shoulder, maybe even a "you're being silly".
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Post by pretty on Apr 26, 2011 14:59:13 GMT -5
DO IT! lol. I would take into consideration the stage of your endo and its location(s). However, had I known at 24, what I knew now, I would have done anything to have a baby. But my endo is a beyond-stage-4 nightmare If I were you I'd get my butt on the endo diet, get PPT and whatever else I needed, to see how healthy I could be... never hurts, and will improve your fertility and your chances!
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Post by hellsbells on Apr 26, 2011 15:07:09 GMT -5
If you're genuinely ready, and it's what you want NOW, then go for it. If you're not quite ready, and you feel you need to do this because of the endo, then maybe hold off a little while until you know for sure you want a baby because you want a baby and for no other reason. Just take of yourself in the meantime.
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Post by cherry on Apr 26, 2011 15:39:54 GMT -5
One thing I'd consider seriously whilst your wondering about this is whether you feel you can cope with being a mother whilst you're learning about your body in relation to your newly diagnosed condition. Have the doctors pushed you to get pregnant sooner rather than later? With myself as an example, I had a long-term relationship when my second lap revealed that while my fertility wasn't affected, my endo was everywhere and aggressive to the eye of the surgeon. Good jobs and prospects, a supportive family on his side. But considering the pain I had been in I would have baulked at the idea of caring for a completely defenceless and undeniable little creature if my endo returned to the same pain and debilitating effects on my body. I had been barely able to care for myself some days. Just say 'this endometriosis is another consideration besides money, stability, support' it's a limitation but unless you've been given a green flag that it's now or never, don't feel that you have to jump in. You have a new way of thinking to adapt to with this auto-immune condition that unfortunately also can limit your fertility. But consider every factor of your health carefully, not just the ability to conceive, when you think of having a child.
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Post by Karen on Apr 26, 2011 17:53:14 GMT -5
There are many women that have endo and are still able to conceive, a lot even naturally. There's so much you can do to help your body cope with what's going on inside and potentially preserve your fertility. If the extent of the endo is wide-spread, though, best to consult your doc. Keep in mind, though, there's no crystal ball on your uterus so take anything a doc says into consideration but by no means consider it law.
That being said, if that's where you are in life and you were going to start trying soon anyway, have at it! Whenever you think about trying, though, be sure to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's a fab guide to help you pinpoint your bodies fertility signals, which increases your chances of getting preggers.
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Post by JC on Apr 26, 2011 19:04:59 GMT -5
wow I think the girls all gave very different but great advice. You can see a few different sides to this decision based on what was said above. I personally think if you are ready then go for it! But cherry made a good point, just take some time to think about if you're ok to take care of a baby with all of your health problems. And if you choose to wait then there are plenty of options of treatment to explore. It's a huge decision and I think whatever you decide you will be very happy with. ;D
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Post by Karen on Apr 26, 2011 19:09:46 GMT -5
I should also mention that I've met my niece (now 7 months old) three times, and twice I had my period. I was miserable. Seeing me run around with her while trying to hide my pain sucked and made me realize that I'm not ready for kids at the moment, maybe not ever. Cherry touched on it already, but just wanted to give you my perspective. It's not just about getting preggers, it's about feeling well enough to be a mom!
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Post by chicagogal2 on Apr 26, 2011 20:09:14 GMT -5
My personal opinion is if you have both agreed that you'd like a child and are ready I would try while you can. Alot of times pregnancy helps to suppress the endo. Once you have the baby you could immediately go on the pill or use another treatment to continue to suppress the endo as well. Good luck!
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Post by omaklackey on Apr 26, 2011 21:07:15 GMT -5
Since you've gotten plenty of maybe and people trying to be really cautious... I'm going to play devils advocate and say HELL YES, if you wait you risk never having kids, whether or not we admit it! I have three. I lived/live with endometriosis. The same argument that applies to women who think they can't work, can't go to school and everything else applies here. If you want to you can. No measly endo should stop you from anything you want. The younger you start the better chance you have too. I also want to point out that my endo was the best during the four years I was preggo or getting preggo so that is a bonus. I can't imagine life without my little monsters and my heart breaks every time I hear someone struggling with infertility because I want them to have what I have.
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Post by angelidimusica on Apr 27, 2011 6:07:18 GMT -5
Wow, so much great advice and so many different opinions!
We both definitely want a kid. Like I said, we were going to wait, but with all of the new information, we've REALLY been talking about moving our plans up. My mom is even telling me to go for it!
About being a mom with endo, I'm absolutely sure it would be hard. Thank goodness I have such a strong support system (along with my boyfriend who ADORES kids and would probably be the one staying home with them). But here's another question: wouldn't it be just as hard 2, 3, or 5 years from now? Maybe even worse?
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Post by cherry on Apr 27, 2011 6:28:17 GMT -5
I think it's having a handle on your condition which is key. What did your doctors actually tell you about your endo and it's fertility? Stage, coverage? Scarring, aggression, chances of spreading or causing specific damage? I ask because I had what would be equivalent to stage 4, everywhere including tubes and ovaries, BUT it came away easily with no damage to my fertile bits and no signs of penetration into them to indicate endo damage. See these little details can help you with your decision. Luckily I didn't decide to try for a baby as the relationship ended anyway bur I try not to let endo make me into a ticking timebomb, if that makes any sense. You need to learn about it, about your body in relation to it, and so on. As I said before, make it an additional factor in deciding when to start a family, not the deciding factor. We like to be informed about this condition, and new info is coming out all of the time. But I for one decided a while back that endo does not control my life, it's just sometimes pointing me in different directions because of limitations or new opportunities opened to me in the style of 'God closes a door and opens a window' A member who used to moderate here gave a few different considerations in this thread she started to encourage us not to panic and instead consider all realities: cjlevett.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=infertility&action=display&thread=979Your tone sounds like you're pretty much decided anyway so there's no point in my arguing further, but I would urge you to give yourself 6 months to get over the panic and shock you'll be suffering (if not not necessarily feeling on a conscious level) over being diagnosed with endo. It's a big disease to consider, so take a step back and let the dust settle
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Post by JC on Apr 27, 2011 6:31:11 GMT -5
Yes it would be just as hard 2-5 years from now. I definitely think so. You could always try some treatment options like medications or going the natural route to help get rid of some of the endo symptoms but none of us are ever cured from this. We do what we can to manage symptoms and some of us have amazing success. But reguardless of whether you're 24 or 34, it's all the same scenario. I'm really glad you got such a diverse group of women here who can give you such great advice. I'm pretty happy with the responses you got! I think all the lovely ladies above have helped you see many different sides to this disease. You can always come to this board for support and advice, especially on the really tough days. Having children while living with endo is hard but many women do it. A friend of mine was faced with this very same decision as you. WHen she was 24, her and her husband decided to start a family earlier than planned because she was afraid of having fertility issues if they waited too long. She has two little girls now and is happier than ever. Her endo isn't gone but she somehow manages to raise two little girls and hold a job. She also said that she has no endo symptoms during her pregnancies. So that's always a plus!
Big decision but I think you will do the right thing and it sounds like you have an amazing support system at home with your mom and boyfriend! I like Cherry's advice to at least wait a bit to let the shock of the diagnosis settle before you make life changing decisions. That's a really good idea in my opinion.
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Post by angelidimusica on Apr 27, 2011 7:03:25 GMT -5
Oh, I definitely plan on waiting at least a little bit longer before making any final decisions. We especially want to see how the continuous birth control is going to help. Plus, I am still in that state of shock, I guess, and somewhat reeling from the diagnosis. I have stage 1 endo in the cul-de-sac, but I have severe pain already. I only started to have symptoms about 9 months ago. Just had my first lap and they decided not to remove anything. My doctor figured we could treat it medically instead of surgically. I have a lot to think about, but I'm so glad you ladies have been able to give me a bunch of well informed advice and opinions. It certainly helps.
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Post by pretty on Apr 27, 2011 11:38:23 GMT -5
Angel, since you're new to this, has anyone given you the lecture about seeing a specialist over your ordinary GYN? really, really consider starting out fresh with someone who has the experience and training to truly treat your endo. I hate to think of young ladies like yourself, with early stage endo, going to anyone who isn't the top of their field. The reason I suggest, is that it sounds kind of like your doc isnt super experienced if he just 'decided not to remove anything'. what the heck was the trauma of surgery good for if not to excise that endo? that said, you do now have a diagnosis, you're young and beautiful , in a good relation ship, now all you need is the best possible doctors. Please consider this well-meaning advice!
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Post by hellsbells on Apr 27, 2011 13:33:31 GMT -5
You had the lap and they didn't remove anything? I'm afraid that would be setting off some alarm bells for me.
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