Post by Karen on Sept 30, 2009 18:55:58 GMT -5
First off, let me say that I know there are many of you that have suffered with endo in ways that I can't imagine, and for years and years and years. Although I had minor symptoms for years here and there, the constant, everyday pain didn't start for me until October 4 of last year. It started with what I thought was a bladder infection that day after I got home from working a wedding, and within a week, I had my first CT scan, was on narcotics, and was in excruciating pain. In the past year, I've seen over 10 different doctors, from urologists, gyns, surgeons, therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors, and general practitioners. I can count on one hand the number of days I DIDN'T break down from October to at least January. I've also been on over 16 different medications and supplements. All the prescriptions made me feel even worse in one way or another, including one that made me want to chance a walk across the lake I live on when it was thawing in the spring. I haven't totaled everything up, but even with my pretty good insurance, I've spent a few thousand dollars on prescriptions, copays, and alternative treatments. To top it off, I had no idea how to cope with a messy relationship that ended, I took a pay cut at work and eventually got laid off, had a big mess with the unemployment office, and started a new (temporary for now) job. It's been a hell of a year!
But, on the flip side of things, I think everything that I've been through in the past year has really changed my life for the better. I found out how hard I can fight. I went to doctor after doctor. I didn't give up. I found a chiropractor that focuses on nutrition, and after taking his suggestions and supplements, I have very little pain most days and, better yet, I'm drug free and I'm tapering off the supplements! My bad days these days are only as bad as my best days last fall/winter. I can handle that, and I'll continue to try whatever I can to make those days even better. It also forced me to get help to cope with my every day life, and with my therapists help, I was able to let go of a lot of crap that I was carrying around with me. And when I got laid off? It wasn't the end of the world to me because I had a different perspective than most. I mean, my life already came to a screeching halt last year that I had to fight to get back. Why would I let a job loss bring me right back to square one? I really think I was meant to fight to get better as hard as I could because I knew deep down I was going to lose my job. I got the big bills out of the way while I was still employed. Starting up at the new job, I realized that there's a whole new group of people that don't know how I was at my worst, and I feel thankful that I have a chance to start over at work. (I ran into a former coworker a few weeks ago and my health problems came up. He said people around the office didn't know why I was in such a funk for such a long time, that people were wondering, and he said it made a whole lot of sense now that he knew what was going on!)
All in all, I really feel like I have most of my life back. Not 100%, but 90% or 95% of it. Last October, I honestly never thought that was possible. I spent a lot of time wondering how the hell I was going to get through the rest of my life feeling that crappy. Now I feel like I have the motivation to make more out of my life.
I know I haven't suffered nearly as much as a lot of you, but regardless, I'm so incredibly thankful for everyone's support here. This place gives me an outlet to talk about things I need to talk about. I think through things by talking (writing) about them, and so now my non-endo friends that don't understand the ins and outs of it all no longer have to suffer through my spewing of endo thoughts! I mean, I have good friends that listen, but they don't get it. You guys do. Your advice, support, and laughter is very much cherished. And for that, I'll be forever grateful.
So this Sunday, I feel like I need to do something special to acknowledge the changes of the last year. Something little, but special. Any suggestions?
But, on the flip side of things, I think everything that I've been through in the past year has really changed my life for the better. I found out how hard I can fight. I went to doctor after doctor. I didn't give up. I found a chiropractor that focuses on nutrition, and after taking his suggestions and supplements, I have very little pain most days and, better yet, I'm drug free and I'm tapering off the supplements! My bad days these days are only as bad as my best days last fall/winter. I can handle that, and I'll continue to try whatever I can to make those days even better. It also forced me to get help to cope with my every day life, and with my therapists help, I was able to let go of a lot of crap that I was carrying around with me. And when I got laid off? It wasn't the end of the world to me because I had a different perspective than most. I mean, my life already came to a screeching halt last year that I had to fight to get back. Why would I let a job loss bring me right back to square one? I really think I was meant to fight to get better as hard as I could because I knew deep down I was going to lose my job. I got the big bills out of the way while I was still employed. Starting up at the new job, I realized that there's a whole new group of people that don't know how I was at my worst, and I feel thankful that I have a chance to start over at work. (I ran into a former coworker a few weeks ago and my health problems came up. He said people around the office didn't know why I was in such a funk for such a long time, that people were wondering, and he said it made a whole lot of sense now that he knew what was going on!)
All in all, I really feel like I have most of my life back. Not 100%, but 90% or 95% of it. Last October, I honestly never thought that was possible. I spent a lot of time wondering how the hell I was going to get through the rest of my life feeling that crappy. Now I feel like I have the motivation to make more out of my life.
I know I haven't suffered nearly as much as a lot of you, but regardless, I'm so incredibly thankful for everyone's support here. This place gives me an outlet to talk about things I need to talk about. I think through things by talking (writing) about them, and so now my non-endo friends that don't understand the ins and outs of it all no longer have to suffer through my spewing of endo thoughts! I mean, I have good friends that listen, but they don't get it. You guys do. Your advice, support, and laughter is very much cherished. And for that, I'll be forever grateful.
So this Sunday, I feel like I need to do something special to acknowledge the changes of the last year. Something little, but special. Any suggestions?
Every word of it! 
And I enjoyed reading it!
