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IUI
Nov 12, 2009 14:50:38 GMT -5
Post by Susanne on Nov 12, 2009 14:50:38 GMT -5
What a s***ty day! Woke up at 5:30 stressed out about WORK. I hate it when that happens. After 30 minutes of twisting and turning and failing breathing exercises I got up and went into work very early. It's SO busy at the moment - everything is happening at the same time. WHAAAAAA. Anyway, due to the lack of sleep and tons of e-mail I was not my happy self today (understatement). Then to top it off the first symptoms of my period appeared. I phoned my boyfriend and could hardly keep myself from crying. What a mess! What am I doing to myself? I blame myself because if I am so stressed at work it will never happen now will it? If I had just been a bit wiser last night and had gone to bed earlier I would not have been so tired. if if if. I know I'm overreacting a bit - still exhausted, which isn't helping! But I'm serious about the stress. That can't be good. I just dont know how to stay calm and collected with so much pressure on at work?
Bleuh. Well. When I got home the house was clean and my boyfriend had done 2 laundries and he had cooked. That was really nice and it made me feel better. Now I'm going to bed early and tomorrow everything will look different again.
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IUI
Nov 12, 2009 20:25:27 GMT -5
Post by sunshine78 on Nov 12, 2009 20:25:27 GMT -5
OMG! I'm sorry you had such a bad day! Everything will definitely look/feel better, with a decent night's sleep. The period symptoms coming on could definitely be linked to stress.
I'm not trying to get pregnant, or anything, but generally speaking, the more stress I experience, the sooner, longer, and worse PMS/menstrual symptoms are.
As for work stress, I would try anything you can do to diminish your stress, there. Even subconscious things like pleasant, calming aromas, whether or not you can still detect them, can markedly affect mood, and diminish stress. Or if you have some music, I'd keep that on in the background. Chill-out type stuff. Those things tend to work for me, even if just a little bit.
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IUI
Nov 14, 2009 7:26:56 GMT -5
Post by Susanne on Nov 14, 2009 7:26:56 GMT -5
Thanks Sunshine. You're right, I will look into the aroma's, I think that's a good idea. See how the colleague with who I share my office feels about this :-) Yesterday some girlfriends visited and we had dinner and a nice evening - also very good to relax and feel better. My boyfriend is just brilliant these days as well.
This morning I spend some time writing down what is going on in my life, what I find important and where I spend my time and attention on. Funny how these last two things are not the same!! So that was good exercise to get my priorities clear again and help me to make better decisions on how I spend my time - leading to feeling better and more rested - and so better enable me to cope with the job and other stressfull things ... like trying to get pregnant and not succeeding...
I have these two scenario's in my head: it;s Christmas and we're having dinner with the whole family - my parents, my brother and his girlfriend, his brothers+wifes, sister, mum, dad and stepmom. Sounds unlikely but this is actually the least unlikely part of the story - this is pretty normal. Anyway, just before dessert my boyfriend stands up and gives some baby shoes to my mom and dad. It would be their first grandchild. I would be so happy and proud and everyone is happy for us! Scene 2: We visit my parents to tell them that after 3x IUI and 3x IVF there is only 1 conclusion for us and we will not have children of our own this life. That's where I tell myself to stop this train of thoughts before I picture everyone in tears and feel as if I was already there. I don't necessarily want to think these things - I prefer just to focus on the day to day things and not think about the rest too much. But sometimes I cannot help myself. Mainly a day or 2 before my period. Phew. This sure is not how I pictured my life to be when I was younger. Well, 1) it's too early for conclusions. 2) there are plenty of babies out there that need a good home. We already have 1 foster child, we can open our hearts and home to more. 3) first priority is to get more relaxed. I'm going shopping!! :-)
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IUI
Nov 15, 2009 6:43:55 GMT -5
Post by Susanne on Nov 15, 2009 6:43:55 GMT -5
The shopping did wonders. An I have lavender essence to bring to work tomorrow. My period is not breaking through yet. Guess everything is a little different due to the additional hormones. Tomorrow morning I have an appointment for a starting echo for the new IUI cycle, provided that my period has really started. Otherwise the echo is moved to Wednesday. I have a busy week ahead with two 2-day meetings with overnight stays from work, but it looks like I'll manage to squeez the echo just in between :-)
New round, new chances!
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IUI
Nov 15, 2009 19:49:46 GMT -5
Post by Karen on Nov 15, 2009 19:49:46 GMT -5
Hmm, you mentioned your period isn't breaking through yet - do you mean it hasn't started? Or did you spot/bleed? Remember, there is such a thing as implantation bleeding. I know many women - endo or not - that had that, or spotting during the first month or two of their pregnancy. Actaully, one of my best friends was going to back on the pill to regulate her periods a few months after she had a miscarriage, and her doc gave her a pregnancy test. She scoffed at it, telling her doc that there was no need because she just finished up her period. Turns out, she was pregnant after all! Certainly not saying that's the case for you, but best to take a test just to be sure (if you haven't already). Whatever the case, hopefully you'll get some answers at your doc appointment tomorrow!
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IUI
Nov 16, 2009 7:20:59 GMT -5
Post by pamelaj on Nov 16, 2009 7:20:59 GMT -5
Good Luck today Susanne...i was wondering what Karen said. Have you got your period? When i was pregnant with my eldest, i had my period for 2 months(light), and i thought i had a bladder infection, boy was i wrong. Whatever your results are, good luck, keep your chin held high and when all else fails....do some shopping. Retail therapy is fantastic
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IUI
Nov 17, 2009 14:55:58 GMT -5
Post by Susanne on Nov 17, 2009 14:55:58 GMT -5
It did cross my mind to be honest that it was an implantation bleeding. I am hoping for such a miracle story for almost three years now. But no such luck until now :-) And also this time it was just a typical period. I spotted a day or two longer then normal but it did finally start for real in the night of Sunday to Monday. The echo was good on Monday - the ovaries looked quiet so it was a go for the second round of IUI. The gyno told me to start pregnyl tonight (Tuesday = day 2 of cycle)) and come back for the check echo on Friday morning=day 5. That was a surprise for me. The last time I had to start the pregnyl on day 4, the echo on day 7 and the LH shot on day 8 to induce ovulation. Anyway, I have a two day meeting and I am not capable of gogin to the hospital on Friday morning. I'm the project manager of the project we're having the meeting for. I searched for options to skip it but it is not going to happen. So she proposed to start the pregnyl on day 4 = Thursday, the check echo on day 8 = Monday and hope we are on time. Hm, I'm not too happy about that last comment: hope we are on time... How to make me feel guilty for having a job with responsibilities... Anyway, just keep my fingers crossed. It went well the last time on this schedule so it should be ok this time.
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IUI
Nov 23, 2009 20:15:30 GMT -5
Post by denna on Nov 23, 2009 20:15:30 GMT -5
dont give up suzanne..i had 4 iui s before i conceive- not through IUI though..have a break in between IUI, that's where miracle happens. i conceived for the 2nd time while planning to have IUI..
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IUI
Nov 25, 2009 9:27:38 GMT -5
Post by Susanne on Nov 25, 2009 9:27:38 GMT -5
Hi Denna, that is so nice to hear! And I am so happy for you, congratulations!!! Are you feeling well?
I'm currently approaching the second IUI - it will be this Friday. My body reacted in a more normal speed to the Puregon this time, so at the first echo on Monday I had two follikels that looked as if they were in the game this round but they were still small. So, a bit of worrying for nothing :-) I went back for another echo this morning and had three big follikels, YOOHOO :-) Going for the maximum this time. The limit is three follikels at my hospital, at 4 they will stop the treatment and recommend to not have sex either to avoid >1 baby. Its funny, in theory there is a chance that I will get pregnant of triplets this round, but I'm not taking this seriously at all: I would be surprised and very happy if one of them makes it!
For the rest I'm feeling good. Seriously, I swear that the Puregon is lifting my energy levels to where they were before I got burned out a few years ago. I already noticed it the previous round and it didn't go away with my period (which was a surprise). Now I feel my enery is improving again. Granted, I had some room for improvement as I also had pfeiffer's disease (kissing disease) last year. I told my gyno and she said she had heard it from more women. Very cool side effect! :-)
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IUI
Nov 27, 2009 15:05:14 GMT -5
Post by Susanne on Nov 27, 2009 15:05:14 GMT -5
And they're off! My turn to wait, all zen and relaxed of course. Just as I was last time :-) Let's see when the waiting gets to me this time ... This time I am going to fill my time with Sinterklaas (that's a Dutch & Belgium holiday where a grandpa in a red dress with a long white beard comes over from Spain in a boat loaded with presents for the children. He brings the presents to the children on his white horse and he rides the horse over the rooftops. Pretty impressive. The presents are stuffed through the chimnee with the help of the Black Pete's. These are happy fellows dressed in colorfull shorts and vests and a hat with a feather and they are all black because of the chimnees (some people want to avoid the idea that there is any racist issue so then the Pete's are painted in all sorts of colors). Anyway, it's fun. My niece realized for the first year that the whole Sinterklaas story is not true, but we still celebrate with the younger kids. Big competition to Santa around here as you can imagine :-) ) And there is plenty of work to do as usual, some trips to Frankfurt and Barcelona for work. I will not even notice when the two weeks have passed with all the stuff going on.
Fingers crossed!!!
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IUI
Nov 27, 2009 17:14:13 GMT -5
Post by pamelaj on Nov 27, 2009 17:14:13 GMT -5
My fingers are crossed with ya Susanne....maybe you will have great new in time for Christmas
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IUI
Dec 3, 2009 15:13:45 GMT -5
Post by Susanne on Dec 3, 2009 15:13:45 GMT -5
Brief in between up-date: my boobs hurt much worse then normal. I feel them on me all day. Very annoying. They're small (A cup) but they feel immense! Soooo of course I googled and read the threads about women having painfull boobs and they turned out to be pregnant. Also read the threads about women having painful boobs and they turned out not to be pregnant. Don't want to get my hopes up for nothing. But it feels good to get it of my chest (not intended to be smart here).
1 week and 1 day to go. But I'm not obsessively counting or something...
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IUI
Dec 3, 2009 16:55:13 GMT -5
Post by pamelaj on Dec 3, 2009 16:55:13 GMT -5
o Susanne. Im praying for you. I truly hope that it works out this time
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IUI
Dec 5, 2009 10:19:16 GMT -5
Post by Karen on Dec 5, 2009 10:19:16 GMT -5
Keeping you in my thoughts! Here's hoping those boobs hurt for a reason!
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IUI
Dec 6, 2009 16:18:30 GMT -5
Post by Susanne on Dec 6, 2009 16:18:30 GMT -5
I sure do too! Thank you for your support ladies. I appreciate it a lot.
I've reached the point where I'm looking forward to the end of the week no matter what happens; either I'll know they're hurting for a damn good reason, or the pain will stop. Still trying to preoccupy myself with plenty of other stuff but I have to admit not thinking about the whole thing is rather difficult with the constant painfull reminder! Absolutely doing well in pretending I'm not thinking about it (if I do say so myself) :-) No news for the rest. Next up-date = happy or unhappy news... *drums*
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