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Post by dotrat14 on Apr 20, 2011 14:22:52 GMT -5
New to this site and it has been very helpful. I always delt with my endo on my own and apprechiate everyones thoughts.
Last week I learned that my 3rd try at IVF did not work, BFN.
I am turning 42 this year and trying not to have a nervous breakdown.
Now what? - do it again, donor egg, strict diet/accupuncture/herbs and keep my fingers crossed.
There are so many options and I feel like I need to decide quickly. It never occured to me that my stage 4 endo would be a huge problem, I just thought IVF would work.
Just wondering if there is anyone out there who failed IVF but then got pg on their own. I know it is possible but how realistic is it?
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Post by chicagogal2 on Apr 20, 2011 15:33:47 GMT -5
Just playing the flip side of the coin because we were also faced with looking at egg donation. There are no guarantees with that either. There is also the possibility that you pay for the procedure and the egg doesn't implant, then you're out all that money. Yes, it can work but the costs are huge and again, no guarantees. We struggled with that because if we have a baby we wanted it to be OUR baby and not someone elses egg and my husbands sperm. I think I'd always feel funny like I was trying to con everyone that it was my own. This is just my personal opinion. I think adoption is around the same cost as egg donation. Hubby worked with a guy who adoped and he said it was very expensive, about the same as IVF and other treatments. I know where you are coming from, its a very hard decision to make. Everyday I'm on a wave of thoughts, one day I want to keep trying, the next I want to go back on the pill. This keeps going round and round in my mind so you're not alone! We're here for support and the few of us that are TTC can totally relate to how you are feeling! I think there were some past members who got PG on their own. Another one just recently got PG after trying acupuncture! She almost did IVF but got pregnant before the apt I believe.
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Post by dotrat14 on Apr 20, 2011 16:34:31 GMT -5
We have totally thought of that with Donor Egg. When we first started the IVF process about 4 years ago we thought the same thing, no way am I going to have someone elses baby!! I really want my own. After 3 failed IVF's it is amazing how you can change your mind! If it was not for the cost we would do it. I cannot possibly get through paying $22,000 (per our docs office) for donor egg and have it not work. I really don't think I could handle that. I have read that some places give you a sort of guarantee of money back if it does not work. Also my husband is afraid that if we did donor egg and there is something wrong with the child that he would feel guilty that it was because of his DNA and I wouldn't be to blame because it isn't mine! I would feel horrible if he felt that way. I offered to do both egg donor and sperm donor so it would be up in the air! Again, it is the cost.
I wish I wasn't turing 42 this year, wouldn't feel so much pressure, I can hear that damn clock in my ear!! Also husband is 45 and doesn't want to be in a assisted living home with a 10 year old! He is afraid of his age, even though be both feel like we are 12.
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Post by Karen on Apr 20, 2011 18:33:51 GMT -5
I KNOW there are some members that conceived either before and after IVF. I don't know how many are active posters at the moment, but I hope they'll chime in and share their experience!
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Post by chicagogal2 on Apr 20, 2011 18:48:50 GMT -5
I totally hear ya on the donor egg. When it's one of the only options it starts to look like an option and for many it is. I think it's wonderful that there are so many generous people who would help another who can't have their own baby. I agree with you on the cost as well though. We thought about it but said what happens if we do the whole thing and I was to miscarry? Then what? I don't think I could emotionally go thru the process. I just know myself and I think I'd find that harder to deal with than not having a baby at all. I know what you mean about the clock ticking as well, I feel so much pressure as well.
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Post by Karen on Apr 20, 2011 19:02:52 GMT -5
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Post by dotrat14 on Apr 21, 2011 18:34:49 GMT -5
If I did Donor egg and it didn't work or I miscarried I would totally lose my mind. I know it happens all the time. I don't think I could handle it. I agree that I think that would be harder than not ever having a baby.
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Post by chicagogal2 on Apr 21, 2011 19:24:02 GMT -5
I agree......we felt it was way too much of a gamble and the risk wasn't worth it. That option is totally off the list. At least with adoption you have a guarantee.
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