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Post by uncomfortable on Dec 21, 2010 18:08:26 GMT -5
I know a lot of us on here have either seen a therapist/psychologist or have thought about seeing one. I'm just wondering due to the reasons we all have in common, if you prefer a female therapist over a male one, or if it doesn't matter to you.
I was seeing a female, but due to her leaving her practice, I was passed on to her male colleague. He's really good at what he does, but I have been having a hard time feeling comfortable discussing certain things with him. I am getting caught up on his not being able to understand what its like to be female, especially when we discuss pelvic pain issues. I know everyone's therapy experience is different, but do any of you have any thoughts? Am I just being childish about not feeling like he can understand?
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Post by Karen on Dec 21, 2010 18:13:52 GMT -5
My therapist is a woman, and to be honest, I think I'd have a hard time with a man! I can tell her about awful periods, spotting after sex, etc. and she's totally cool about all of it. Best of all, she's had some hormonal issues in the past and was able to refer me to my current (awesome) doctor. Have you told him you'd be more comfortable with a female? Is there someone else you could talk to instead of him? Or, you could just completely open up about all your girly parts and see how uncomfortable it makes him, if at all!
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Post by uncomfortable on Dec 21, 2010 18:45:59 GMT -5
There's not really anyone else I can talk to right now. He's who I have. We have talked about how uncomfortable I am approaching certain subjects with him, because of his gender. He seems pretty open to discussing anything I want to discuss, but I don't feel like he really gets any of what we discuss. I feel kinda stuck right now.
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Post by hellsbells on Dec 22, 2010 11:44:22 GMT -5
In some respects, it might be better to talk to a man who doesn't know, rather than a woman who doesn't have the problems.
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Post by pretty on Dec 22, 2010 12:51:36 GMT -5
I've seen a lot of psychiatrists and psychologists. I prefer men. I think it's becuase I relate better and trust easier. I feel more adult talking to a man. When I have a woman, it's hard to be honest. I know it's strange. I just like men therapists. They make me feel better
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Post by JC on Dec 22, 2010 13:29:47 GMT -5
I actually prefer a woman. I saw a social worker when I was a kid who was a man when my parents divorced. He was pretty cool. But as an adult, I would feel more comfortable talking to a woman. I've never seen a man for counseling as an adult so I'm not sure how they are. I'm sure they could be good. And I think it was a good idea that you told him you feel uncomfortable about certain topics. How did he react to that?
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Post by Heather on Dec 22, 2010 14:04:49 GMT -5
I prefer women for all of my doctors. I HATE having pelvics from male doctors, it makes me so completely uncomfortable. And yes, talking to them about certain things is really hard. Right now I only have two male doctors between my NP, gyno, pain dr., optometrist, dermatologist, dentist, and naturopath. Only the last two are male.
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Post by Shannon Elizabeth on Dec 22, 2010 15:35:06 GMT -5
I prefer women for all of my doctors. I HATE having pelvics from male doctors, it makes me so completely uncomfortable. And yes, talking to them about certain things is really hard. I'll go to a male doctor if I have a cold and he's the only person I can see, but I echo your words about hating male doctors. I don't have a problem for dentists and eye doctors, but no man is going to be touching me. My natropath is a man, however they are completely different when it comes to examinations and such. I would never let a male doctor give me a pelvic, breast exam, or ultrasound. I don't even like them pressing on my belly to check for internal swelling. They have no idea what we're going thru and could never in a million years relate and shouldn't decide to make their profession completely about touching a girl's body. Its sicking in my opinion.
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Post by JC on Dec 22, 2010 15:38:57 GMT -5
I have always wondered what motivated a man to go into OBgyn. Like, it doesn't make any sense. I asked one once and he said that he liked the surgery part of it.
I don't care if my OB is a man. At this point, my poor vag has seen so many things, one more guy wont matter. LOL!
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Post by hellsbells on Dec 22, 2010 15:56:34 GMT -5
For whatever reason, I prefer male doctors.
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Post by Karen on Dec 22, 2010 18:14:16 GMT -5
When it comes to girly parts, I have yet to see a man (well, besides the mean urologist once). When it comes to talking about the emotional part of it all, though, I have no problem talking to my girl friends, but don't say much to the guy friends. They get facts about what's going on if they ask, but I don't go into details about how I feel. I think it'd be the same for therapy!
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Post by uncomfortable on Dec 22, 2010 23:34:26 GMT -5
See, This is something I don't get about myself. For most of my life I have always felt more comfortable talking to my male friends about my life, just never really female things though. I almost find it easier in a way to talk about certain parts of my life with a male therapist, but I for some reason can't bring myself to talk about the things bothering me the most, which happen to be female specific. I don't feel like he can understand, not only the physical side, but also the emotional side of what I experience. We have talked about how uncomfortable I am a few times. I don't want to build a new rapport with anyone else, but I just don't feel comfortable discussing female subjects. He is well trained, and I think he is open to letting me take my time on it, but I don't know how much longer it is going to take me. It just feels so much more embarrassing and awkward talking to a man about this kinda stuff.
I also could never have a male GYN. my only male doctors are my dentist, eye doctor, and my gastro was a man too.
I don't understand what motivates a man to be a gyn either! It interests me because I have all the same parts, but I wouldn't ever want to do it otherwise.
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Post by Heather on Dec 22, 2010 23:54:05 GMT -5
My gastro was a man as well. I only saw him twice, and he was an impatient, rude jerk.
I wonder if, for at least some of the male gynos, maybe they had a female relative whose life was affected severely by something like endo, adeno, PCOS, reproductive cancers--I know that would motivate me to want to help other women like her.
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Post by hellsbells on Dec 23, 2010 5:39:44 GMT -5
I suspect men get into it because of the above, or just a curiosity about body parts they don't have. Weird as it may sound, I feel more uncomfortable having my girly parts examines by a woman than I do a man.
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Post by uncomfortable on Dec 23, 2010 21:12:26 GMT -5
I'm curious both helen and pretty, since you both prefer male therapists, are you fully comfortable discussing all the gory details of endo, or other things that bother you? If you are, then I commend you highly, but if you are not, how do you manage to overcome any discomfort with them to enable you to still talk about what you want to resolve?
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