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Post by JC on Apr 7, 2010 15:40:41 GMT -5
Did I mention her name is Amanda? LOL what is it with girls named amanda?
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Post by cherry on Apr 7, 2010 17:11:07 GMT -5
It's sad to lose the history but the relief of having that gone from your life well outweighs it all, right! It's only when you've cut ties that you realise that the bad feelings between you were hanging over your head like a rain cloud. And it's ok that she's blocked you, cos while she's being an ass, you can say good riddance and if anyone asks, she is actually rather unpleasant for blocking you when you tried to broach the issues between you. You tried, and she's the one who lost out in the end
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Post by Karen on Apr 7, 2010 17:50:17 GMT -5
Well, the thing is, she has those words that wrote, she read them, and now she has to deal with them. I'm sure it's much easier for her to 'delete' you (both literally and figuratively) than to dig deep and deal with them. Don't be surprised if she reacts later on, but I think you already know how it would end regardless.
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Post by JC on Apr 7, 2010 18:25:22 GMT -5
I saw it as an immature thing to do. I have very open relationships with my friends. If I hurt your feelings or if I'm being a biotch then by all means, tell me! I think I'm adult enough to apologize and make a true effort to make things right, or if I don't agree then I'll say so. It's how adults interact. I don't think she'll ever get that.
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Post by lizzylou on Apr 7, 2010 20:11:37 GMT -5
I think that's incredibly immature. Like Karen said, it's so easy for her to be pissed and "delete" you than actually deal with it.
Although, it's funny her name is amanda. I worked with a girl Amanda who COMPLETELY threw me under the bus when she was quitting. She completely screwed me to start with, and then tried to destroy my reputation. When she finaly asked me why I wasn't being friendly with her, she suggested that I owed her an apology. UGH!!! Why would ANYONE be friendly to someone who was trying to ruin their career.
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Post by JC on Apr 10, 2010 13:03:51 GMT -5
I don't know what it is with that name! It's like a curse, you get named amanda and you automatically become a b*tch from hell. I'm eager to meet an amanda that isn't rude and evil. I am sure they exist!
BTW, I still haven't heard from her. OH WELL!
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Post by cherry on Apr 10, 2010 17:52:09 GMT -5
At some point in the future, I hope she feels embarrassed and apologises for being like this. She was in your wedding party for god's sake!
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Post by JC on Apr 22, 2010 19:11:24 GMT -5
I finally got my reply from this "friend" of mine. It was really bad. She totally tore me apart, even went as far as to dig up crap from like 10 years ago to paint me to be this bad guy. Just freakin wow, that's all I have to say. I'm pretty hurt by this but I really need to just focus on what is really important in my life. I can't let this girl get me down.
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Post by Karen on Apr 22, 2010 19:26:19 GMT -5
Well, sounds like she drove the final nail in the coffin, eh? Sorry to hear that - that's the last thing you need right now - but at least you know where things stand and you gave it a shot. Are you going to reply, or just leave it as is? As tempting as it may be to counter point every single thing, sometimes the best thing to do is leave it alone.
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Post by Karen on Apr 22, 2010 19:27:45 GMT -5
Oh, and by the way, you're an awesome cyber friend to many of us here and I know I'm super appreciative of that. You win some, you lose some.
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Post by JC on Apr 23, 2010 4:24:12 GMT -5
hahah thanks Karen. I actually did take the bait and reply. I feel like a fool for even trying but I was so pissed off. I think what hurts the most is that the original mutual friend I asked for advice for called up Amanda and told her everything that was said like it was some juicy piece of gossip. This "friend" of ours made me feel like I could confide in her about my friendship problems and then ran to Amanda and totally threw me under the bus. The sad part is this "friend" was actually trashing her so much during our conversation but then turned around and tried to play best friend to Amanda. So I'm not sure what bothers me more, my long and messed up friendship with Amanda, or the fact that this girl just totally two-faced me after making me feel comfortable to talk about my problems. Who does this crap? It really really destroys my trust in people. Like I don't even want friends anymore.
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Post by hellsbells on Apr 23, 2010 11:46:57 GMT -5
Sadly there are some poisonous people in this world. I genuinely can't get my head around these type of people, why anybody would want to be deliberately nasty to someone else. Given time she'll become a distant memory. Like you said, concentrate on what's important xxx
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Lizz
New Member
Let's call the things that are not, as if they already were!
Posts: 11
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Post by Lizz on Apr 24, 2010 9:04:02 GMT -5
I'm very sorry Jenaya for what you are going through, as ironic as it sounds, I can understand a bit the bitterness of a treason for several experiences I had in the past. I wonder who hasn't have one of those??
What immediately called my attention was not Amanda, but the second crappy friend you talked about. Since she let Amanda take you down with her gossip, I believed she is not an honest friend either. If you have more "friends" in common I will suggest you to find out if she spoke with them too... and if they say yes, ask them why they let her do it, then you will find out who is who, around you.
In my experience this type of people are comfortable only in company of people like them, that is why she found you annoying and was giving you so much trouble! You are a nice person! just not compatible with her. Just be careful of those telling you Amanda is a good friend... they might be just like her!
Sorry again, but I am a believer of loyalty, and those who don't have it are not worthy of my trust, (or anyones for God sake!) neither of the sound of my voice to tell them how unfortunate they are for loosing my friendship!
Just meditate on how lucky you are to have got rid of her! The world is full of nice an sincere people! do not close your doors because of those two! only like that they would have won! Do not feel bad for the things she told you! those words are only a result of her frustration for being busted! What else could she do? but try to make you feel bad, that is her only chance! so don't let her!!!
I really admire you for putting out with her for so long even in your wedding!!! You are a saint!!!
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Post by JC on Apr 25, 2010 9:23:40 GMT -5
wow that was really nice of you. I appreciate that a lot. This experience really just kills my trust in people. I hate having to watch out who I can trust and not trust. It's so sad. But you're right, people like this stick together which would make sense why they ganged up on me like they did. I can't deal with people like that. For now, my anger has subsided and I am just looking at it for what it is. I do truly have some amazingly loyal friends that I know I can trust and I should really just focus my energy on them rather than crap people like her. Thanks again for what you said. You hit it spot on
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Post by jessabug on Jul 23, 2011 14:37:47 GMT -5
Hi ladies! I'm new and planning on introducing myself on the other forum but I'm really curious... how many of you have struggled with friendships because of Endo? Especially those of us who are younger? I'm 21 and I find that almost all of my friends are completely lacking in sympathy and caring regarding my endometriosis. Of those who know, literally TWO have stuck by my side and remained supportive. They are the only two who seem to genuinely understand the severity of the disease in terms of how debilitating it can be for some women (and I am one of those "some"). Everyone else seems to just shrug it off like "oh that sucks" or "ew that sounds gross." I'm a fairly private person and I don't share my endo with people unless I have to. I was on vacation in my hometown last month when it was discovered that I needed surgery, and therefore had a lot of friends to answer to (had to explain many canceled plans!). I was shocked at the number of "close" friends who didn't seem to care. One girl, who had been a close friend of mine for years, saw me after my night in the ER and didn't even ask me what happened or how I was feeling. Then a couple days later, the night before my surgery, she asked me about it and acted all concerned so I decided to be really honest with her (something I'm usually not -- I tend to minimize things and turn it into a joke so that people don't feel uncomfortable) and I told her how scared I was and how much of a struggle everything has been. She never answered my text. I didn't hear from her again until the day after my surgery when she was like "Hey Jess! Sorry I forgot to text you back, I've been sooo busy with work and stuff but anyway that sounds awful, don't worry though I'm sure it will be fine!" .... Didn't even bother to ask how the surgery went. I think I might be taking this harder than others might because I tend to be that friend who never has problems of her own, but listens to other peoples' "emergencies" constantly.. and I feel like this ONE time when I'm having a REAL problem of my own and I need my friends, they can't give me 5 minutes of their time and concern? One of my friends literally cut me off in the middle of trying to tell him about my endo to ask me for advice about a girl he hooked up with that was 6 years his senior. I feel a little lost, because it seems I don't really have as many friends as I thought I did. What I'm wondering is, have any of you had the same problem? My amazingly supportive boyfriend and family say that you really learn who your true friends are when you go through something hard... I wish that wasn't the case!
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