|
Post by cherry on Mar 7, 2010 19:53:52 GMT -5
I went to visit with a best friend and meet her new son, he's a beauty. I was not in the least bit good with babies but he is a patient little guy and my 2 friends encouraged me so that by the end we were best pals, he even laid quietly whilst I changed him though I was shaking with nerves and made a pigs ear of it. I adore that little boy, and felt a bit bereft to be leaving him as well as leaving my friend when we had to return home (our other friend and I went to visit her in the city that she's moved to with her fiance) I'm just not sure whether I want my own children? I had a strange discussion with my boyfriend about it. It was a beautiful feeling to hold the baby, but I can't imagine giving up so much of what my life could be in order to nurture someone else potential. I get the caring and the love, but I'm too selfish by far. I was wrung out with just a few days shopping and burping!
|
|
|
Post by Tara on Mar 8, 2010 12:45:51 GMT -5
To Cherry Yourquestions are certainly great things to think about, and as someone who thought I would make a horrible mom, and didn't want kids, I can relate. And it is very different when they are yours, you can't hand them back....
But Now that I have two kids. Trust me when I say they have only inhansed my life with laughter and warmth. Don't get me wrong, there are tears to and lots of frustration, but it all ballences out. And soon you don't miss the old life you had, because you have this new great one.
Go with what you and your boyfriends guts say...Only you know when you are ready.
Keep us posted, and good luck.
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Mar 8, 2010 16:39:23 GMT -5
I used to think that I was made to be a mum but recently my outlook has changed, due in no small part to the constant pain (and unpredictable nature) of endo. I think I will at least be the fun aunt but right now I can't see me deciding to be a mother. I know if an accident happened I would gladly enter into motherhood... but I don't see a change happening soon that I will think 'this is it, I'm done messing around and now I'm ready to mother' haha I like to take care of others but I dunno, I think it's just hit me what a huge life-change it would be if I found I was pregnant tomorrow. It was a big thing to just go shopping... take the milk, a cover for the buggy, nappy (diaper) bag, get him to sleep first, be aware of the timing of his next feed, gripe water cos he wasn't doing well on his current milk, access to restaurants and round the shops themselves, dress baby right up for winter weather but in layers, redress baby because I'd fed him a bit wrong and he got milk down his neck. It felt very lovely and cosy to be locked into that little routine of 'baby comes first' but gawd I can barely look after myself even aged 25! My boyfriend and I are very much in stormy waters at the moment so I was perplexed by what he said. I would never ever use a baby as a patch up. I dunno if that was what he meant but deliberately having a child together as we are would be a bad idea!
|
|
|
Post by JC on Mar 8, 2010 17:14:38 GMT -5
I'm the same way Cherry. I've fallen in love with children many times, yet, that feeling of wanting my own never comes. I often wonder if it ever will. I just don't feel it. I love kids, they are fun, but I really love my life without having them as a responsibility. I'm 27, I figured I have another 13 years to decide. I guess we'll see if that "maternal" feeling ever pops up.
On a side note, my 30 year old brother just had a vasectomy 4 days ago. He has no children and he is extremely certain that he NEVER wants them. Interesting, two of us in the same family not wanting kids... hmmmm lol
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Mar 8, 2010 18:03:11 GMT -5
Ha so the responsibility of grandbabies falls on the two gorgeous younger siblings!
|
|
|
Post by sunshine78 on Mar 9, 2010 1:37:14 GMT -5
You ladies would be surprised by how being pregnant, even when you don't know it, kicks that "maternal instinct" into overdrive... even if you've never before (thought you) had a single maternal bone in your body.
It's a trip.
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Mar 9, 2010 5:02:07 GMT -5
I can imagine! And the first few days of not even knowing you're pregnant must be very confusing in that case!
|
|
|
Post by hellsbells on Mar 9, 2010 14:36:20 GMT -5
Sometimes I ache so much to hold my own child that I just bury it. But on the other hand, the thought of being pregnant and giving up my life the way it is scares me. Being single and liking my life, I'm not about to run out and get knocked up by some rando, but if an 'accident' did happen, I'dd eal with it. Ideally I want the whole package, so I'm waiting for the right man to come along first, and then see what happens.
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Mar 12, 2010 7:43:42 GMT -5
Completely on board with you there Helen
|
|
|
Post by JC on Mar 16, 2010 16:00:18 GMT -5
Sometimes I ache so much to hold my own child that I just bury it. But on the other hand, the thought of being pregnant and giving up my life the way it is scares me. Being single and liking my life, I'm not about to run out and get knocked up by some rando, but if an 'accident' did happen, I'dd eal with it. Ideally I want the whole package, so I'm waiting for the right man to come along first, and then see what happens. Sorry Helen, my gorgeous brother you were supposed to marry had a vasectomy! sad!
|
|
|
Post by hellsbells on Mar 17, 2010 15:39:01 GMT -5
Well, I guess it's for the best......don't know how I would have managed to get pregnant from across the Atlantic and the whole of the US!! Lol x
|
|
|
Post by JC on Mar 18, 2010 11:43:27 GMT -5
^^haha yeah that was a problem wasn't it?
How are you doing Cherry??
|
|
|
Post by cherry on Mar 18, 2010 18:01:04 GMT -5
My ovaries just about bust when my friend posts new photos but other than that I'm ok! Hope you are too catlady ;D
|
|
|
Post by tmichelle on Mar 29, 2010 17:14:54 GMT -5
Sometimes I ache so much to hold my own child that I just bury it. But on the other hand, the thought of being pregnant and giving up my life the way it is scares me. Being single and liking my life, I'm not about to run out and get knocked up by some rando, but if an 'accident' did happen, I'dd eal with it. Ideally I want the whole package, so I'm waiting for the right man to come along first, and then see what happens. Sorry Helen, my gorgeous brother you were supposed to marry had a vasectomy! sad! They are reversible now
|
|
|
Post by hellsbells on Apr 2, 2010 12:48:53 GMT -5
Still too many miles, sadly.........:-)
|
|