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Post by uncomfortable on May 2, 2012 19:10:00 GMT -5
Karen, that is 100% what is going through my head. You are right, that it can be done - because it has to be done, but sometimes it is among the hardest things to do. I have been on my own with it from day 1 too. None of my family lives close by, its just me. Friends can only do so much, especially when they do not understand.
Introducing it to someone new is a huge thing for me. How can I let a new person (partner) in without scaring them away? I know if it scares them they are not in it for the long haul, but that thought alone is frightening. To be rejected because of it. I guess knowing that they would be rejecting their own issues, and not me is the consolation there. Its not our fault, we are worth more than a disease.
But I am 100% with you. It sucks!
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Post by Karen on May 2, 2012 19:20:58 GMT -5
I agree - fear of rejection is what's holding me back the most! Every time I think I make headway, I retreat... Don't get me wrong - my very close friends know what's going on and I know that if I were to call them for help, they'd be there in a heartbeat. But it's those new people in my life that I just can't get past. And maybe I just haven't found the right person to trust just yet. But even when I do, I'll second guess it again and again and again before I divulge... Sigh.
I guess all you can do at the moment is take it one step at a time, and recovery is at the top of that list! Are you taking some time off work at the moment?
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Post by uncomfortable on May 2, 2012 20:42:02 GMT -5
You're right, one step at a time, or I might have a mini melt down again. I am taking time off - but I can't really afford to be off right now, which is another huge stressor. There is no real magic solution, but I guess taking it one thing at a time will be my best option.
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Post by ashleyavenger on May 15, 2012 17:26:37 GMT -5
So, on paper I look healthier then the average, which is a great thing, so why do I always feel sick? I have had blood work done for all sorts of things, everything always comes back "normal". I had a lap done, nothing was found. I have "a pelvis to be proud of". My family doctor keeps asking me questions every time I go see her, to access me for stress - which I admitted to being stressed over feeling sick. there is nothing that anyone can find that leads to any reason to always be nauseous, and to get really painful menstrual cramps. I don't know what to do anymore. No doctor thinks anything is wrong with me aside from maybe being a crazy hypochondriac. But all my symptoms have been so consistent for such a long time, and they are all so undesirable, why the heck would I want to make them up. I am doubted by my doctors so often I have begun to wonder myself if I have somehow created all these symptoms. What am I missing. I *know* there is something not right with me. I feel it. I don't want to give up on finding out what is going on, but gosh darn it I'm sick of health care professionals looking at me like I should be pitied for the things I am imagining are wrong with me. I know none of these questions can really be answered by any of you, but I just needed to vent them. I know just how you feel! I've been having severe cramping and pelvic pain for months and all tests are coming back clean. My obgyn told me it probably a virus! The next dr. wanted to manage my pain! I feel so sick and my boss at work doesnt really get it either and likes scheduling me for 10-12 hr shifts that i physically cant work.Or gets mad when i have to go home. I go home everyday feeling ill and crampy and fatigued. I started to think it was in my head too but I wouldnt make this up. This pain is too much to just be from stress or w/e anyone wants to try and tell me. Dont give up! I'm not going to
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Post by uncomfortable on May 20, 2012 16:27:53 GMT -5
Ashleyavenger, I completely get where you are coming from. I used to work inhuman hours, and live simply to make it to work. I thankfully have a much better working arrangement now, and I am starting to feel a bit more energy. The post you quoted was from two years ago. I did not give up, and after having a whole other slew of testing done, I found a surgeon who did not doubt me. I was officially diagnosed with Endo just over 5 weeks ago. I really hope you do not give up, because chances are high that the Endo is there, even if they haven't found it yet.
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