|
Post by angelas on Feb 10, 2007 18:55:28 GMT -5
So the appointment was no battel at all! I actually had to see the resident for my doctor which was wonderful. She explained to me all the glitches I would have had to deal with. Since I don't technically have my surgery date she could only sign for me to be off until my specialist appointment which is March 12. Then the specialist will have to give further permission to be off until after the surgery. Also, since I refused Lupron as treatment instead of surgery, she could not use the endo as the sole reason for my leave. I've been on anti-depressants for a couple years now due to the endo, so she had to enfisize that point rather than the pain. She said she felt bad for 'lying' so I could have the time off, but she said that in this country people are so quick to file suit against doctors cause they are money hungry. In her country it was soley about helping people. So even though I got my leave, I am a little upset about how we had to go about it. I think I will start another thread just on the 'back doors' that have to be taken.
|
|
|
Post by camille on Feb 12, 2007 16:26:31 GMT -5
I am so happy for you that you got to take the time off that you need!
|
|
|
Post by angelas on Feb 12, 2007 20:07:10 GMT -5
I am very happy about that too! It says something for really standing your ground in this situation. I still feel guilty in a way, but the reaction I had from my job too (nothing but pure support) has made me think even more that I have no reason to feel bad about needing to take care of myself. I was also afraid to tell my dad. I thought he would react more worried about the not working part rather than me getting better. I really should give him more credit though. I just learned that by keeping my true feelings (physical and otherwise) a secret out of fear of what the reaction would be that when things come up like this people are more likley to wonder where the heck it came from! My dad was much more understanding when I told him whats been going on for the past few months and now understands why it is important to take care of myself. I couldn't feel better about this. Not to mention how wonderful my other half is! He has made some pretty strict rules around the house of the things he 'better not catch me' doing- such as lugging laundry up 2 flights of stairs... I honestly think I did the best thing for myself. And I really want this to be inspiration for anyone else on here that has thought about needing the same kind of care.
So now I am just going to stay home, take care of myself and hope that I get in sooner than later.
|
|
Rin
Full Member
Posts: 124
|
Post by Rin on Feb 20, 2007 10:02:20 GMT -5
I can relate to what all you ladies are saying. I have missed alot of work since the beginning of January. My work has sorta been O.k but they can still be a pain in the butt. They have me on a attendance program which means that I have to bring in a doctors note every time I miss a shift. It is a total pain in the butt. I told them that my doctor is away and at least they are letting me wait until she is back to get all the notes. Which is going to be a lot!!
I work in a hospital in their dietary dept and my job is extremely physical. Walking for 8 hours going up and down stairs heavy lifting and just a lot of lugging and slugging. Most of the time I just can't do it and it's frustrating! When I do make it in to work after I get home I'm so done in I can't even think straight. I just fall on the couch and sleep for a couple of hours.
It's depressing that a job I had no problem doing before is now such a challenge. It's a blow to my ego when co-workers twice my age are running circles around me. I'm 26 and feel 86.
I work in a union environment and my work offers light duty work but I think it's only for work related injuries. I could take a leave or absence but I would receive no paycheck and would most likely have to go on unemployment and I don't know if the money I would get from then would cover my bills. I don't know if I'm just better off to just work as I can. I guess I'm feeling pretty lost at the moment.
|
|
|
Post by angelas on Feb 20, 2007 10:47:34 GMT -5
Hey Rin - I know all to well the frustrations you are feeling. That was the exact point that I was at before I took my sick leave. The way that I thought about it was that I had to think about the quality of my life. I decided that it wasn't worth it for me to feel so crappy and full of pain every single day. Not that I don't feel that way anymore, its just that now I can actually take care of myself. I am home with a fever today (would have had to call in sick anyway) so by being here I am way less stressed about what work thinks about me missing all the time. I'm also waiting to get my EI benefits since my job doesn't offer short term sick leave. Your right that it isn't much, but I have to ask- have you talked to your husband about the possiblity? You are waiting to get in to request a lap too right? EI pays for 15 weeks before it turns to long term sick leave... It would be worth it to look into thats forsure.
If you do decide to see what the options are let me know, I can always fill you in on any details you may need.
|
|
Rin
Full Member
Posts: 124
|
Post by Rin on Feb 20, 2007 10:59:40 GMT -5
For now I am going to wait. After I see the OB/GYN and hopefully get a lap so I can have a definite diagnosis and see where to go from there. My husband has been great but we need both of our incomes to keep things a float and it has been stressful for both of us trying to make ends meet. We have been married for 4 months and this definitely wasn't the way I wanted to start our marriage!!!!
|
|
Rin
Full Member
Posts: 124
|
Post by Rin on Feb 20, 2007 11:11:48 GMT -5
Also I hope your fever goes away and you feel better and thanks for the comments. It's good to know that I'm not the only canuck having to deal with sick leave and doctors up here in the great white north. lol
|
|
|
Post by angelas on Feb 20, 2007 11:16:52 GMT -5
hahahaa!! not to mention our ever so generous government!!! Whatever you decide, do take care of yourself, listen to your body and don't push beyond your boundaries.
Do keep me posted on the progress of your diagnosis as well.
|
|
Rin
Full Member
Posts: 124
|
Post by Rin on Feb 20, 2007 11:27:16 GMT -5
For sure!!!!
|
|
|
Post by kb on Feb 20, 2007 23:29:17 GMT -5
What an issue this one is.
Sometimes i think its the biggest, its about functioning in the world really isnt it.
Ive spent so long trying to be normal, trying to function in the world, pretending i wasnt sick, to the point that many though i wasnts, even my husband and my mother did not realise how bad i was.
.....till i crashed and burned!!!
I no longer hide it, there is no point, people are incredibly supportive when they understand a little of whats going on. My mother cant do enough for me now, and my husband doesnt let me lift a finger. My friends have also been very supportive.
As u may have seen in my rant and rave post, i have stopped working, i wont call it giving up, i know thats not true. I have also been reprimanded by a very close friend for calling myself useless, ive been told its not my fault and that i am sick not useless. I must keep telling myself that.
I dont know what others should do when they need to slow down, coz we all know how wearing this condition is, but i do know in my situation i prob should have paid attention to the signs, quality of life is the most important thing. Why are we all so stubborn, its encouraging to see so abundantly the strength of women, but i guess that strength in the end is a fault, coz we dont stop when we should.
Yesterday, my doctor suggested that i now might have chronic fatigue from the chronic pain. Would it have happened anyway, or did i push myself too hard, i tend to think the latter.
Anyway long story short, we all have to do what is right for ourselves, and every individual is different. I admire those women out there still pushing themselves, coz i know how hard it is, and i admire those taking the needed rest, coz i know how hard that is too.
For myself, financially, im trying to get on the disability pension, i should succeed but will keep u posted. It wont be enough to live on, as my husbands income means ill only get partial payments, and we have a rather nasty mortgage.
I am going to look into accessing some of my superannuation as apparently you can withdraw in cases of hardship. If that works i should be able to get a bulk sum to keep me going comfortably for quite a while, at which point ill hopefully be better and can ease myself back into work. Fingers crossed.
Otherwise it might be the bank of mum and dad. Poor parents.
|
|
|
Post by angelas on Feb 21, 2007 11:39:42 GMT -5
Hey kb! as you must have read through all of this post that I started, I do know first hand how frustrating it is to feel so helpless. I like you put on the mask of happiness and wellness for a very long time. No one around me realized I was doing so bad either. Then when it came from the doctor that I needed to be at home, resting, all around me had the reaction of 'where the heck did that come from, I thought you were fine'!! My boyfriend scolded me as well telling me that I need to start being honest with myself before anyone else sees my honesty. I had run myself straight into the ground. Even my dad said to me - maybe if you kept a better eye on things then you wouldn't be so sick right now. It made me feel horribly guilty! None of us want to complain day in and day out about the pain... its the same description with the same hardships and people just don't have enough time to listen. (thats what I find anyway). So you keep quiet, and live in your own world of what feels like pure torture out of fear of someone telling you to just shut up. I am always the first one to talk about quality of life, and getting my priorities straight. Also that the only way to take care is to listen to your body! Yet I did none of those things for a very long time. Now I spend my days at home in total despair wondering whether I'll be able to have that little one I so desperatley want to have. My conclusion is that there is nothing we can do to make any of it easier. It is a tough road regardless of the route you decide to take. I of course think that taking the time from work and life to rest was the best thing that could happen for me right now.... but it sure isn't any easier than forcing myself to make my way through life in the 'normal way'. Bottom line is that we all have to take care of ourselves the best way possible. And thank god for women like you kb that know all too well the hurdles that stand in our way of just getting better, and you are accross the world from me!!
|
|
|
Post by kb on Feb 21, 2007 22:42:02 GMT -5
its amazing isnt is angelas, ive always felt so alone in this struggle, i never knew there were so many women out there going through exactly the same thing.
I agree, taking time from work has been the best thing for me also, im already starting to feel better for it. I can really get the rest i need when i need it, there is no stress, i can spend my hours learning how to get better, or doing things to get better, or just doing things that help me mentally.
Who would have known such wonderful support could come from the other side of the world. What did women do with such debilitating conditions before the internet?
That was all well said too angelas, lets both cross our fingers for some good days to come for all of us.
|
|
|
Post by angelas on Feb 22, 2007 10:47:27 GMT -5
This forum is a total godsend and I know I don't just speak for myself when I say that. Withough the likes of you I would probably be in a madhouse by now...
My fingers are crossed for everyone! One by one we will all make it through this
|
|